Southland Idiot Burns House Down With Apple Pie

That's what the paper would have said if I didn't notice the toaster on fire. You know those box toasters that doubles as a mini oven? Damn the inventor...

I nonchalantly preheated the oven to re-heat some pie for a late night desert. To kill about 5 minutes, I clicked on the dummy box to watch Conan O'brien. Upon checking the toaster after three minutes, I noticed that there was a slice of rye sitting inside. "Fuck! I gotta take that out," I mumbled. "Stupid leftover toast." When I opened the glass door, smoke billowed out of the damned thing. I heard a faint whoosh and noticed that the bottom piece of foil was flooded with flames. It turns out the heated wires ignited the leftover leave-in's and created an oven fire. I powered off the toaster and rushed to find something to kill the fire. I grabbed the nearest cup and doused the flames. It took 2 cups to put it out. I turned on the stove fan so the smoke would clear...and so my mom wouldn't wake up and chew me out. Hey, at least I didn't burn the pie. =)