I reflected on my life for the past month or two and I'm not where I want to be.

I'm not sure what it is lately. I'm in this weird position where im not aware of myself and what my goals are. I need to sort out my life. I need to relax a little. I think I hurt someone last night and the fact that there are some issues in the family right now isn't really helping either. I had a dream last night...a dream that meant something...I don't know whether it was good or bad. I feel like I fucked up somewhere and I just need to get my life in order. I want to be motivated for school. I'm sick and tired of feeling like the dumbass in the class. I hate this feeling. I hate not knowing where I am. I've been feeling like that lately. I mean I don't care if I'm out of the loop, but there are a lot of things that I'm not too sure about anymore. I need to find my answers...I need to feel whole again. I just feel totally fucked up. I don't need people asking what's wrong, either. I'll ask for help when I need it. I'm not so proud that I don't ask for help. Just give me time to deal with it and I'll get back to you.

Doubt leads to fear and I'm pretty scared right now.