I did a lot of thinking today, since I was too fumed to listen to music driving home from my messed up day.

Why do I put so much into something even when the end result is a swift kick in my ass? I don't deserve to be disrespected. No one does. I've been put in the back burner so many times in my life and most of the time, I sit there and crisp. Why? I try so hard for some people. I try so hard for myself...but I always fall short. Why? I haven't been satisfied with myself lately...on so many levels. Why? It's not fair that some people don't recognize the real goodness in someone. It's not fair that some people don't step outside of themselves to notice what damage they are doing. It's not fair that other people have what I want. It's not fair that I don't get the answers I'm looking for. It's not fair...

I'd like to give a few people a swift kick in the ass myself. But, unlike them, I know that no good would come out of it....but it would make me feel a lot better.

I'd like to think that I'm a caring and giving person. Unfortunately, some people take advantage of that. I'm tired of being stepped on. I'm tired of being overlooked. A good friend once told me, "It's great that you are a giver, but sometimes we have to take too. By learning to be a good and humble taker, it will in turn make us better givers."

It's time to stand up and take what's rightfully yours, Mark.

Fuck it.
Since we're on the subject, fuck YOU too...