So far the week hasn't really improved for me. I don't know what to think. I want to leave. I want to just let go.

I don't remember the last time I cried myself to sleep. I have no patience anymore...none whatsoever. Everything just came crashing down last night. Everything finally caught up with me. I ruined a lot of things. Nothing made sense anymore. All I did was wept to God last night. I don't know how late I slept. It didn't matter. Nothing matters to me nowadays. I have no hope for anything. I'm not looking forward to anything. I'm not even going to try to figure things out...they just keep getting more complicated. My anger and frustration seemed so trivial at the beginning of the week. Now it grew into a very depressing and empty week. Nothing has been going my way. Nothing is what it seems. Nothing...is what my life is right now. I want things to be normal...and I couldn't even get that. Peace of mind...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

Fine...I'll take your advice. I'll shut up. I'll leave you alone. I don't know what's going on. All I know is that I'm dead to you. I had a lot of firsts since the year started...I hope this isn't going to be the first time I gave up on someone. There's something that I don't know about and that's how I'm going to have to leave it. You made my week worse. I'm speaking out of anger again...

I'm not stupid, but I can take a hint.

If any of you see me around...humor me and pretend that I'm happy. I don't need anyone's pity. I don't need anyone's feigned interest. All I need is time...

What else can go wrong?

Everyone just leave me the fuck alone...