I still can't sleep, but fortunately enough, I was finally able to construct a logical chain of thought.

I was accused of using someone.

Why would I want to use someone for my own personal gain? There is nothing that I can acheive by doing that. I have no interest in taking other people's property or relationships. I don't need to take things from people. I have what I need and I work for what I want. It would be unfair to deny someone of something that they worked so hard for. It would be unfair to accuse me of using a person when I would rather give to people. I try to give until it hurts...and sometimes I give until I have nothing left. I know that I need to work on being a taker, but if I have learned anything in this lifetime, it's to always express your gratitude. A good friend once told me, "If you feel love, why don't you just tell that person?" Everyone needs to be given gratitude. Everyone needs to know that they are loved.

Little things make a big difference.

Communication: It's important to listen to people. It's even more important to remember that people listen to you too.

I would never relish in someone else's anguish, especially if I (unintentionally) caused it. I am human. I can be jaded by selfishness. I can be tempted too. I can make mistakes. I can fail. I suffer pain too. So why would I wish that upon someone else? Ask my closest friends and they will tell you...Even when I'm hurting...I will try to help carry your burdens in addition to my own. I wish I could be superman to everyone, but I have a schedule to maintain and deadlines to meet and beat. I don't mean to place anyone in the backburner, even though to other people, that's where I sit most of the time. Personally, I don't believe that "friends come and go." If they were real friends to begin with, they would never leave. A real friend would do anything to keep a friendship alive. People may come and go, but a friend will always be with you.

I have been stepped on all my life. I am taken for granted all the time. I'm the "nice guy" who will just be passive and be used as a fucking doormat. I know what it's like to feel used. I would never wish that upon anyone. I know how much it hurts. I know how vulnerable one can feel.

I'm human. I say things without meaning them and I mean things without saying them.

A problem, like a friendship, is two-sided.

Life continues and I will be paying my dues. I made mistakes too. Things will get better...they always do, but the pain before the happiness is always the hardest part.

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take cetain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle. 'So which side wins,' I ask? Love wins. Love always wins."

- Tuesdays with Morrie

If I reach my hand out, I would hope you would be willing to reach back.