I can't even begin to tell you how much pressure I'm under. I wish that I had more hours in the day. I wish I could please everyone. I wish I was a better person sometimes. These past few weeks I've been MIA, broken promises, procrastinated, stayed up until the sun began to rise, and just was plain irresponsible. It's just kind of frustrating when people don't understand why I'm so high strung...but then again I can't expect someone to just hand me a cookie and understand my point of view.

It scares me when I think that I can't handle all of these things that are coming my way. I mean, I don't even have a job nor do I have classes. Nonetheless, I manage to run myself and others into the ground. People tell me that I'll be okay. Why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like I'm just a big let down to some people?

The questions still remain in my head: Am I good enough (for you)? Can I manage my time effectively as my responsibilities grow? Will I study hard and still balance my other obligations? Are my friends feeling dissed by my lack of attention? What do I really want for myself? What can I really do to get things done correctly...let alone in a timely manner?

I'm not upset. I'm just confused as to what I can really do. I want to be able to have my life flow from one thing to another, but here I am...Just trying to breathe.