Yesterday was my favorite nephew's christianing. I went through a lot to get there. I would stop at NOTHING to get there. This is a true story... my story on how it all went down. I guess all in all, the fact of the matter is that the day was never about me to begin with, but I thought it would be somewhat entertaining to tell you how difficult it was for me to make this event.

I woke up early to pick up boyfriend since his house is about 30 minutes away from mine. I took a quick shower and skipped breakfast and headed out. I decided to clean up and finish getting ready when I brought him back home. It was about 9am and the morning was bright and promising. As I drove, I noticed how empty the freeway was. Usually, when I drive to pick him up the traffic is heavier than an angry bitch's period. The drive was really easy and I got more and more excited as I approached the exit. 1 mile... 3/4 mile... 1/2 mile... I could already see the exit right in front of me. It was 9:25 am. "Damn! I'm making great time." I thought to myself. Just as I finished that thought, I noticed that the gas pedal refused to accelerate my Civic. I pressed it again and still no response. My heart rate began to quicken, and I slammed the hazard lights on and glanced at my rear views to see if I had any chance of making it to the right shoulder. Fortunately, there were no cars as I rolled off to the right and crawled to a stop. Puzzled, I turned off the car and tried to start it again. The engine refused to ignite. I tried it a second time. Same response... none. I grew very impatient VERY quickly. I was ready to burst into flames.

The exit was right in front of me. It would have been a 3 minute walk. It was such a tease to peer at the exit as my car remained pedestrian on the right shoulder. My first instinct was to call my mom. "Anak, did you try to start it again?" she asked. "Yeah, like three times now. I'm not too sure what's wrong." I responded. "Well, I don't know what to tell you anak. Just call triple A and call us back. Me and your dad will see what we can do." With that, she hung up. I scrambled around for my wallet and found my AAA membership card and made the call. A woman named Mikhala picked up and asked what I needed. I stated EVERYTHING, from the license plate to the location to the potential problem with the car... yet she asked me everything AGAIN. I repeated everything to her at least three times. After she announced that the tow truck was coming, she said in a very unenthusiastic and mundane way, "Thank you and have nice day." I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'm stuck on the damn freeway shitting frisbees. I'm totally having a nice day right now."

After about 30 minutes, the tow truck came to my aid. His name was Anthony and he was really nice to me. I couldn't have my car checked since the shops were closed on Sundays. After much debating with myself and my mom, I decided to get dropped off at boyfriend's house and have the car stored at the local shop (for free). My parents were going to pick him and I up at his house. I waited with him and he calmed me down and really just made me laugh. My broken spirit was getting much better, but I feared the anger and frustration of my parents. About 20 minutes later, we were picked up and we were on our way to Rancho Palos Verdes. The time was 11:15 at this point. I changed in the car and boyfriend said that he had gel in his bag. For the first time, I got carsick in the Highlander. I was nauseous for a good 45 minutes. To make matters worse, I haven't eaten anything yet. We finally stopped at a local gas station and I quickly asked if I can get something from the food mart. My mom gave me some cash and I bolted into the building and grabbed a nutrition bar and a V8 splash. I finished both before we left the station.

We got lost multiple times. There were 2 of the same street so that was a bit confusing...and my dad wouldn't listen to any of us when he passed the church like 4 times. He finally gave in and listened to me and we parked...RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHURCH. If he had only listened to ME I would have had at least 5 mintues to get ready in the church's bathroom. As soon as we parked, I popped out of the car and asked boyfriend for his hair gel. It turns out he forgot it and I panicked once more. My hair looked like i had just woken up. So I rushed into the bathroom and resorted to putting liquid soap in my hair just to tame it. After settling with my medoicre hairstyle and unshaven mug, I slowly and discreetly made my way to my pew. I was about 6 minutes late. Lei could just tell that I was a wreck. She immediately handed Scott to me and EVERYTHING changed.

I finally pieced it all together. Seeing him light up while he jumped on my lap made it all worthwhile. Watching him smile and laugh made me forget how messed up I looked and felt. Knowing I was going to be an even bigger part in his life put my mind into perspective. I've done these godfather dealies before, but it's just completely different this time. It was more meaningful because Si & Lei trust me with his spiritual life. Being ninong is more than just spoiling him with toys, candy and money. It's about being there for him and loving him with all my heart. I'm really part of the circle. My life was completely validated when I was holding that candle and making a promise to keep that light burning bright. When he reached for my hand, it made me realize that I really was willing to do anything for him. I can't wait to tell him the stories when he's older. I can't wait for him to understand how much I love him. My nephew...my new love....my new spirit.

It's funny how the one who wasn't able to comprehend my troubles was the one who was able to take them away. Scott's innocence is what brought me back. It's what made me feel so much better. I even feel so much closer to Lei and my brother. Scott's lucky to have parents and grandparents that love him so much... and now he has Godparents who love him just the same.

Thank you Lei and Sim. You guys are the best. Boyfriend...thank you...FOR EVERYTHING.

In the meantime I'll take care of everything else. I still need to see boyfriend and get the car. I want to be centered when school starts tomorrow.