I have to be better than I am right now. I want only the best...but is it to my expense? I told myself I wasn't going to get upset about it, but I can't help it. I'm so bothered by it. I don't want to be mad about it. I shouldn't; but I am. I want him to have a great time...but now I feel just plain ol' sad.

I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I haven't eaten since I got up this morning and I had to eat now since my Lola forced me to eat.

I should seriously stop crying inside or I'm gonna start to mildew. Yuck.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I overreacting? Am I asking too much? Am I being selfish? Am I just being stupid?

This week is just taking forever.

Let him grow, Mark. He's having a great time. That's what I've been hoping for. He's fine.






...but I'm not.