and I quote:
"I remember the first time I talked to Alan on the phone, I was all excited for the sheer reason that he is from Texas. Texas people have accents, am I wrong? Or am I right? Everyone and their dog know that I like accents, and I find it really interesting when someone talks with any kind of speech difference. And since I have absolutely NO accent, I thought maybe I could get a little "rub off" action, as I always do when I watch a british movie ... which is I can slip in and out of a (decent) accent. Ha. Anyway the time came when he answered the phone. "Hello?" he said. In one word, I felt my whole world collapse right in front of me. Where the fuck is that DAMN southern twang I hear so much about? Or is it supposedly only in Tennessee or Mississippi (ess-ess-eye, pee pee eye?), or every other state EXCEPT Texas? "Hello," I said back in my flat ass voice. Who the fuck likes people from California, anyway. We have no accents ... maybe those people who say "Dude" have an accent, but that's all I can think of. Anyway back to it all ... I thought maybe he would have more of an accent when he talked summore: NO. It sounded like you and me. The way Mark sounded was the way most people around here sound. So I think maybe Alan pretends to be from Texas, and he uses a secret phone line that makes it look like he's in Texas, when really he's in a basement in Torrance, CA. And Mark could be the psycho that drives by my house every Saturday morning, I don't know. But I'm sure as hell convinced. Prove me wrong, Texans. Prove. Me. Wrong."
Hil. Freakin. Larious.
Yes...I drive by all the time and peer through your window. I stand on your porch hoping you'd sense me and open the door. har har har.
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