This is time of year is a joyous time for most, but also a burden and a sad time to others.

This year I feel like I fell into the second column. Everyone keeps telling me to get into the spirit of things. I guess I just don't really care this time. For the first time in my life, I'm not into it. I'm not blaming him for ruining it for me. It was just the timing. Everywhere everyone is making such a big deal over the holidays and I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself and what happened almost 2 weeks ago. The magic and my spirit died this year. Don't tell me not to say such things. I didn't catch the holiday fever this year.

My life isn't like those on TV. There's not gonna be a Christmas miracle to turn me around. There's only one thing I want for Christmas and I know I'm not gonna get it.

Wishful thinking can only go so far and keep me sane for so long.

In other news, this whole day has been full of morons and annoyances. I think it's "Turn from the wrong lane and drive like iditiots" day. It must be a state holiday.

Won't everyone just shut the fuck up and let me have a turn?! ugh.

Just gimme the lump of coal already. bah.