I just don't get it. Today, all I could think about was the ex. Everything seemed to have some sort of reminder...every little damned thing. Needless to say, I didn't let it get the best of me, but it just seemed unsettling to think about him...especially that I know that at this point, it's just hopeless.

I don't know why I miss him all of a sudden. I don't know why I even feel this way. I feel so stupid for even bringing him up. I'm over it but then at the same time I feel like I'm not.

Just take a deep breath, Mark. My world is fine the way it is. There's no need to change it. I just gotta keep building right? heh. I guess this heifer has to explore the pasture a little more... Although I miss the relationship, it's kinda nice to be on my own.

I guess I need to keep building myself up. I need to get a job. I need to get myself together. I need to know what I want out of myself before I share it with the world. Self esteem issues? Maybe...just a little bit.

Mark needs to go out and have himself a grand old time. I'm ready for Saturday.