I really don't know what to make of tonight. I don't know what motivated me to act a certain way. I'm not sure what my motives are...if any.

I had a great time tonight, but with a few minor details that would make one think. heh. Did I do that because I was just following his lead? Did I do that just because "I was in the moment?" Am I just on the rebound and need to fill that hole? Even worse...Did I do it to spite the ex? I doubt that, but I just don't know what to make of the situation.

I don't know if I like him. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to expect of myself. I don't know why this is happening. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I don't want to lead on anyone. I certainly don't want to leave a bad taste in someone's mouth. (I meant that figuratively you sickos.) All I do know is that I really like spending time with him and his best friend. God forbid I tear them apart...I just jumped in the mix recently...so obviously I have no right to meddle.

As of now, I can't determine my feelings. We agreed on good friends...that's all I see us being right now. Maybe I don't recognize the potential. Maybe I'm thinking too much...or not enough. The little man inside isn't jumping like the other times...so I don't know. I'm still a little frazzled emotionally, but after tonight and our "drunken talk," I don't know what to think.

I'm not saying that I don't like him. I'm not saying that I do. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I guess it was just a good idea at the time. You know how they say that you shouldn't rest on your laurels? Maybe that's a good place for me to rest for time being. Hurt feelings is NEVER worth good friends.

No. I don't regret my actions.

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In someone's eyes, I'm the unattainable. In someone's eyes, I'm the guy that's too good. In someone's eyes, I'm intimidating merely because they're attracted to me. In someone's eyes, I make them so nervous their heart beats and their breath shortens.

I want that feeling to be mutual between me and someone else. Why can't I tell when I'm in that position? Well, if ever...

I want time to stop when I know my heart is pushing me.

I want to stop being so confused about everything.

I don't want to settle. I don't want the other person to settle either.

I'm not a perfect guy...If I was, then I'd be pretty boring.