Why do people seem to know better than me?! I want everyone to shut up and listen. Let me talk for once. Let me do what I want to do and say what I want to say.

No mom. I think the pictures look great. I know what I'm doing with them and what to look for. Stop bugging me to do free projects for you. You swear I have nothing better to do.

Dad I'm not a little kid. Stop talking to me in such a condecending way. I'm not stupid enough to let a digital camera fall off the counter...especially if the camera is yours.

Right now, I feel very inadequate about myself and a lot of things. I'm sure if I'm in a rational mindstate, things aren't as bad as it all appears...but right now, I'm not completely happy with life.

First off, school is worrying me since I only have one fucking class. I don't know what that will do to me in the future. I'm really scared about it. Damn, budget cuts just might get me kicked out of the university. I hate school. ergh.

Next, I'm beginning to think that I'm fucking crazy. I'm still so crazy about him, but everything I seem to do makes me look like some dumbfuck that a few of us know and loathe. I know I'd be selfish and expecting too much...things are on good terms, but my gut instinct is suggesting otherwise. I know what I want. Am I getting anywhere? Is there a future with me and him? *sigh* Pray...that's all I can do. Time can only tell me what I want to know and I'm still scared of the worst case scenario. Whatever. As scared as I am...I'm gonna just go with the flow, pray, and just keep my eyes on the prize.

I'm SO done with the side impromptu projects that have been kicking my ass. I don't mind doing things for people, but it's time for me to do shit for myself for a change.

LOVE ME and LEAVE ME ALONE.