I can't sleep.

He didn't give me a chance to explain myself tonight. I guess I can't really blame him. I hate feeling like I totally messed up. It was such a small thing but I guess there were some big reprecussions. I wish I never reacted the way I did. I wish I didn't compromise everything. I wish I knew what to do about it. I guess "sorry" isn't good enough, is it?

Did I really think that life would be perfect; that everything would be on par? No. How stupid of me to make an assumption like that. Of course, I have to mess something up so life would be "normal." Ugh. Someone just smack me. Cynicism is easy when you look at the world through jade colored glasses.

Good one, Mark. How are you gonna fix this one?