I'm just another victim. I've been playing the fool so many times.

I'm a victim of a heart that's not ready for me. I'm tired of being the one who gets stuck in the middle. I've heard the same story over and over. I'm the nice guy that no one wants to hurt. Do these guys think that I'm not capable of taking pain? Fuck.

There are so many solutions that would validate the fact that him and I aren't talking. I don't want to assume things, but also, I'm not a fucking idiot. I'm tired of guys who express so much interest and then leave me to die. It sucks that I'm the type of guy who gives his all into someone to make them happy...and where does it get me? In the fucking dumpster. I've been led on, screwed over, taken for granted, and used. Yeah, I'm used to it...but who really deserves to be used to it. Eryk told me that every guy claims that they want that prince charming to sweep them off their feet. They want to have that perfect someone who would do anything for them. Unfortunately, when they get it, they don't know what to do with it.

I read his journal tonight and thought to myself, "I guess he wasn't ready. I'm not what he wants. I'm not what he's looking for. I'm not the one who's good enough to fill those shoes. I'm wasting my time waiting for someone who'll never turn around. I was at the right place but the WRONG time."

I'm at the end of the line. I had some sort of attack last night. My body refused to function and it scared me. I've never felt like that before. I've been having WAAAAY too much stress lately and frankly being dumped isn't something I needed...

I'm DONE with the male population right now. I'm DONE feeling like an ass. I'm done spending my time, money and effort for things not to proceed. I've been kicked around before...so I'll manage.

"Friends say I'm crazy cuz,
easily I fall in love...
Gotta do it different J M,
this time..."

FUCKING SHIT. WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN?

Sure. Friends is fine...but right now I don't want to talk to you for a while. I need to regenerate.

Doesn't anyone want what I have to offer? Screw it. I'm not looking for anything for a while. Males confuse me too much. They want one thing...you give it to them and then they don't want it anymore. *sigh*