So everyone wants to know why I’m on hiatus…I decided to completely excommunicate myself from the entire world. I can’t hide behind my mask anymore.

Let me tell you why. I AM IN A VERY FOUL MOOD. I’m TIRED, HIGH STRUNG, IRRITATED, SAD, CONFUSED, and LEFT HUNG OUT TO DRY. Nothing makes sense to me right now. I’m getting nothing out of what I have, don’t have, and long for. People are ticking me off left and right…the sad part is, some of them have no idea.

How’s life? Well, overall it’s really pissing me off. Let’s start with this DSL. I had to type this shit on WORD because the DSL line isn’t cooperating with me. I needed to type this out before my fury subsides.

I just got home from taking mom from the grocery store. We left while it wasn’t raining and I didn’t want to go because I knew it was going to start to pour when we go home…but mom insisted that we go. You guessed it. It rained like hell when we got out…SO my mom went to Sav-On next door while I loaded the groceries into the car. I came back drenched. Not happy about that at all.

Next, there are things that I need to get done and honestly, I’m ignoring a lot of people right now. I need to get the video done…which is close. I need to get my art projects done which I haven’t started. I need to CLEAN MY SHIT because everything is a MESS. Why can’t people leave me alone?! I know it’s my fault for not getting it done but GIMME A BREAK. My well being is GONE and I’m having a lot of trouble acheiving balance.

Another thing…there was a situation that ROYALLY pissed me off. Charles said something to a friend of mine that took him over the top. Long story short, there must’ve been a misunderstanding, but honestly, it was NOT the right time for me to be in the middle of that. Don’t even get me started on Charles….that’s just a whole myriad of confusion all together. *sigh*

I could go on and on about my love life (rather lack thereof), but I don’t want to open that jar until I know what to do with it. I know I fucked it up somewhere…grrrrrrrrr.

What do you all want from me? Why do you guys push me? Why is everything falling apart? Why can’t I make sense out of anything? FUCK. I’m on a mission to get my answers and DON’T bug me. I have so much shit to do.

If you call, you may not get the reaction that you want. I’m in a very FOUL mood…If I don't talk to you...its probably nothing personal.

I want to feel whole, calm, happy, carefree, loved.

I want things to finish. I want a relationship. I want an income. I want to leave. I want to stop struggling.

I want to BREATHE or die trying.

FUCKING SHIT. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. LET ME GET MY SHIT TOGETHER.

You want a piece of me? Well get in line…

(2 hours later...I figured out I couldn't sign on to the DSL line because my sister was using the dial up blocking the dial tone for the modem)

Fuck off and leave me alone. Let me vanish for a little bit. fuck...