Today was a welcome change from the fast paced, nerve wracking crap I was so used to doing.

I woke up as late as possible without a care in the world. I didn't want to wake up to the early afternoon callers. I didn't want anyone or anything to interrupt me. I got up and just went online to check my mail and messages, and to my surprise, I had quite a few to sift through. After foruming on downelink, Keith and I went to the bank. Thanks for the cut Keith...you're really awesome. Then, I went to Gail's house to have a WYD 05 meeting. I know I said that I didn't want to do anything remotely "responsible," but I knew it would be fun to go to. After the meeting, Keith and I went to the Glendale Galleria for no apparent reason. I took him home and went to just sit and bask in the house. That got stale pretty fast so I decided to joyride around. I found myself strolling the shops at Old Town Pasadena. Of course, I decided to take the long way home...but I didn't go home right away. I stopped and parked in the front of the church to just muse to myself. I sat on my car with the stereo humming my "happy" CD. I looked around and reminiced. I remembered how me and my ex fought in front of the convent and talked it out. I remember laughing at the "butt tree" when I was in grade school. I remembered how we processed on the street for my 8th grade graduation. There were so many memories on that street alone...and they range from 1st grade to this day. I sat there and glanced at the church and thought to myself, "This moment would be nice to share with a boyfriend..but in due time I guess."

Today was what I needed. I stopped to smell the roses this time. I never realized what I had missed being couped up in my own shit. I shouldn't let anyone bring me down...especially myself.

Don't rain on my perfect day. I want more of them. I deserve more of them.

My friends tell me that I need to give myself an expensive treat for once. I was asked, "Name one thing that you've done for YOURSELF?" I had no answer and that really upset me. I can't remember the last time I took the time to take care of MY OWN well being. I was so fixated on fixing everyone else's shit. I guess that's why I want to be single and not want anyone to holler at me. I want to regenerate and treat myself right...no one seems to respond when i treat them right...bah.

My friends tell me that the guys who passed up my offer had no idea what kind of opportunity they had...and it's quite rare of me to give out that golden ticket. heh. My friends are awesome.

The blindfold's off my eyes and now all I see for me are better days...