Okay, this was WAY too funny to not write about. I know its really a messed up hour right now but I felt the need to share this with you.

So there's this guy that IMs me and we talk on rare occasion. It seems that he's sexually attracted to me...nothing more. He's trying to find clever ways to get into my pants...or at least trying to get me into his. In any case. I find it amusing that he thinks that I'm crazy enough to hook up with him. The first time he wanted to meet me at Rage...but I ended up not going since the group unanimously decided to have a low budget kind of night. I didn't tell him. I don't need to. Anyway, he asked me to go with him because he had a hotel room. Now why would I want to go to his room, spend the night there and have him drive me home, when I can drive myself home? Yeah. It's a smidge obvious what his intentions were. Anyway, thats not the story...Tonight I was up late IMing people here and there and he IMs me. I'm going to paraphrase the conversation for you...

him: hey
me: hi
him: how are you?
me: i'm good. can't sleep and i'm kinda bored
him: yeah me too. i'm watching porn
me: hahaha i see
him: wanna do something?
me: why? it's like 3:30 am. what's there to do? (me pretending to be naive and innocent here)
him: jack off?
him: why don't you cum over?
me: haha. I'm not THAT bored. I took care of my shit anyway. (fabricating an excuse and explaining why i'm not horny and willing to play his game)
him: did you cum a lot?
him: how big are you?
me: Why don't you take care of that and I'll wait right here. It sounds like that porno got you worked up.
***doesn't respond for the rest of the night***

First off, does he really think that I'm going to fall for his "charming" invitation to engage in meaningless sex? I'll admit that it's a boost for my ego...but there's no way I'm going to reduce myself into being someone's sex toy. I mean, it's kind of fun to pretend that I'm so naive and that I don't know what he's leading to. It's amusing to me that I'm being pleasant in response to his requests and insinuations. Okay...it's fun being a cocktease. My ego needs that boost. I could easily say "no" in a bitchy way. But where's the fun in that?

He has no idea who he's dealing with. I'm not some male bimbo ready to pounce on the first ass that hits on me. Sheesh. Men these days...and you wonder why I'm not feeling a relationship right now. haha.

I don't think he reads this...but if he does:
Don't embarass yourself by trying to get me in your bed. I know better than that. I think with my mind and heart, not my cock. If you have other things to talk about besides sex then I'm willing to listen. Your lines and invitations may have worked on other guys...but I'm not like that.

Men. Can't live with em...can't live without em. ha.