[[[I'm kinda irritated right now. I totally hate having to get up at 6 something in the morning to drive my mom to work. I hate how it fucks up plans for me...but what choice do I have?]]]

The more I think about it, the more it worries me... I'm just not sure if I can make this trip...but I'll be damned if I don't. I have just about a dollar left in my checking account. There's about a month left and I have a little less than 25% of the money and I'm STILL struggling to save up. Selling my shit at Crossroads didn't work (though I'm going to keep trying). There aren't too many cans to collect around here. Collecting cans just makes me feel so fucking pathetic too, but I'm trying the best I can. Work isn't even giving me hours. In fact, I don't have any fucking hours next week. Today is payday and I'll consider myself lucky to even have a $40 paycheck. I can't really look for a new job considering the fact that if I get a better one, it would reflect badly on me to ask for a whole week off in August. The only thing that's paying my gas every week is dealing cards for the guys. Obviously, I can't afford to gamble what I earn each week. I don't even really want to ask for handouts either. ugh.

Things are looking really bleak for me. I can't really drive anywhere. I can't even afford to buy something to eat when there's no food here. Now, the guys want to go to Soak City and I can't afford to go, let alone drive there.

I'm feeling a lot of pressure all of a sudden. I'm just gonna have to get a little more creative if I expect to earn and save to meet my goal.

(I'm sure most of you who are reading this are saying, "Shut up, Mark. Stop complaining about money...")