I never really understood why I'm so selfish or why I forget that my life isn't just meant for fulfilling my own desires. I should really stop and think about who is really important to me.

I forget how happy it makes me to make others happy; especially RnL. I remember the first day we met, I was so willing to sacrifice my well-being just to make sure that he'd make it in LA. Now what? I feel like I lost track of what's important. I've realized how lazy and irresponsible I've become.

I wish I could be more for him.

However, the only way to even grow and be a better boyfriend for him is to start improving myself first.

I have done so much that I regret. It's time to just get real...but what I'm asking from you is support, encouragement and patience. I can't do it alone. I need to feel like I'm progressing. I need to be told when I'm doing something RIGHT for a change. Let me know I'm gonna be okay.

To change is to display strength.

I need to be a stronger person...and in order to do that, I need to be reminded how important my actions really are...not just for myself, but for the ones I love.

Time to get real Mark...you have a lot to work to do.