The REAL Gay Agenda

I never really liked the politics that lurk in the gay world. Well, to be honest...just a specific idea. Gay people are just as diverse as any culture, right? So why are most of us so fixated on physical appearance? I'll be the first to admit that I'm attracted to a nice long and lean body, chiseled abs, plump ass, full lips with a pleasant face and flawless smile; perfection. Inside it really doesn't make too much of a difference you know? But gotdamn it's real nice to look at. (But not always fun to talk to. ha.)

I was playing with my new video chat with a close friend and he jokingly pointed out that I was a little (for lack of a better term) "thick." Yeah, I was kind of sad about that. Naturally I became very self-conscious about my appearance. I've always wanted that lean body. (which, for the record, I had once...haha.) I felt so much better about myself and carried my attitude so differently.

I hate the feeling that I'm not attractive. Sure, there are times where I would be proven otherwise, but let's face it. I'm in shape...the ROUND kind. Lately, I haven't been feeling so hot. I haven't been feeling comfortable in my own pale skin. I want to look in the mirror or plate glass window and actually have something positive in my head.

Maybe this is a sign I should step up and really follow through with self-improvement. I'm always working on my mental and emotional improvement...so maybe I should turn some attention to some physical improvement.

I want to be the one who turns a head for a change. gah.