Spoken Word

It's not always about what you say. It's HOW you say it. Just because you perceive something a certain way doesn't necessarily mean that someone would share your sentiment.

- 7% through the words
- 55% through facial expression, posture, gesture (Body Language)
- 38% through tone of voice

93% of what you're saying....certainly isn't just the words coming out of your mouth.

Now for example, let's say I was asked to retrieve a bag for someone. I accidentally bring back the wrong bag. Which of these responses sound condecending?

a) "You got the wrong bag."

b)"You brought the wrong bag. I even described what was inside. It had (items here) inside. I told you that it was the black one. Go get the other one."

B is obviously the answer here. It's not necessary to dive into the fact that it was described or to instruct me to go back and get it.

When asking for something it's best NOT to berate someone else.

a) "Can you do the laundry tomorrow?"

b) "When you see that the hamper is full, take the initiative and get some laundry done. Bad enough there are two that are full already."

Again, B was the example that seems harsh. Asking someone to take initiative can be encouraging but in this case, it had a condecending tone. There was an implied idea that one cannot recognize when to do a task.

So, I try my best not to exude negative ways to communicating. I take things differently and I certainly don't appreciate being talked down to. Then again, who does. I try not to talk down to people. If I want to get a point across I don't need to belittle another person.

Not only watch what you say...think about how it could come across.