So I Think I Can WHAT?

Ever since 8th grade, I was intrigued by hip hop dance. The popular kids would have a routine to Soul For Real for the talent show and I sat there wishing I was able to do that too. I always thought that having that ability would build my confidence. Ever since, I'd pretend that I could choreograph something and practice in front of a mirror. Sometimes, I still do when I'm alone...but there's no one to teach nor is there someone else to learn from.

There have been a few places along the way where I have been able to outlet that intrigue; mind you VERY few. I have done debuts, led drill teams to victory, took classes at one of the best studios in NoHo, have been offered to be part of highly regarded collegiate teams, and had a small group of my own for a hot second.

Lately, I've been watching these videos of team performances and it made me wish I had that outlet when I was that age. I would see the passion in the dance and in the performers. I would see the fruits of labor presented before their peers.

I never said I was good. I guess I was only...good enough. I couldn't help but wonder, what if I had taken that opportuinty to join Kaba Modern? Would I have the "hot" image that I've sought after? I don't know.

I know in my heart of hearts that there are at least 572,934,590 people who are better than I am. Part of me gets jealous that I don't have that outlet. Some would say that I'm just a wannabe or get carried away, but it's inside me...somewhere. I know I would never be in a music video or tour with a hot celebrity. I guess I just want to work for something like that. Maybe I just feel like performing. I was never really PROUD of any work I have done. I would watch my creation or performance and just get insecure. Granted, my routine led Holy Family's Drill Team to their first win...I guess I was never satisfied.

I never thought that at 24, I would be old and wishing already...

It's more fun to dance on a path than walk it.