Transition

With each passing day, I find myself to be a stronger person. However, my heart gets so weak from time to time. I feel like I've forgotten how to stand on my own - be my own man. For most of my life I've always fought to maintain my own identity. When I was a kid, I struggled to be an individual. Needless to say, a twin is considered half of a whole...but even twins need to be two, distinct, WHOLE people. Now that I'm single again, I feel broken and conflicted. I don't know the Mark I thought I was supposed to be yet. However, I have managed to find ways to heal through amazing friends, tight family bonds, and a sense of adventure with a touch of insanity. Yeah, I'm a total fucking basketcase. But these days, I consider myself a man...and no longer a boy. I am really proud of that.

My heart hasn't been able to let go of everything. Though my own personal insanity has been keeping me on my toes, my heart knows what it wants. My brain is already 1,468,690,284,756 kinds of broken, but my heart is telling me to fly freely. If I crash and burn, then the thrill of flight was worth the demise.

If you have the ability to make me smile while I'm surrounded by my demons, I truly love you. If you have been motivated by anything I have done for myself, then I am alive with you. If you have done little things for me, then the bigger picture has become more colorful. I am grateful for everyone who has been there for me in all sorts of ways.

Transforming to a better me...and I hope you're still around when I'm done. This may take a while...but I just might need your help.

"There's so much craziness, surrounding me
There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of, my priorities
When I've lost sight of, where I'm meant to be
Like holy water, washing over me
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me..."