Hey, Nicole...I hope you're reading this because this one is totally for you...

I was just given a real rude awakening. I was so pissed off that I felt compelled to blog.

First off, who are you to call me at this hour and expect me to agree to that? It would have been totally accpetable if there was some sort of crisis. But, no...to "validate" the call, you wanted to do something totally stupid and expected me to get up and take part. Of all people, you called me and of all reasons it was that. Don't call me shady for not wanting to take part. Can you really blame me?

For some odd reason, I don't feel like driving up there to see you. Maybe not for a while. That shit was just rude. To think...it was you of all people.

Something's wrong with my commenting system. I know it's not just me, the other page that carries this option doesn't have it either...hmph.

I'd blog, but I'm so tired. I have to go back to Universal Studios to activate my season pass. I want to get my money's worth yunno...

good night

It looks like another cousin has decided to blog. Good luck Ivy! =)

I didn't step outside my house at all today. I totally smell but I think I'm ready to take a shower now. Hey, I was pretty productive today. I created a flash banner and a simple layout for the Youth Ministry web page. If you didn't notice, the squareyness was taken from my page. heh. Well, I'm ready to have some fun with Gail tomorrow!!! I can't wait.

I have added a comments option on my blog. I know that there are a few people that would leave feedback every so often.

I'm off to sleep.

Oh, the R.C. crew...what a lively bunch...heh heh. I really miss them.

wow my guestbook is filled with crap! thanks people!!!!!!
=)

I have no idea what to say. I came from BJ's again, but this time I went with a buttload of people. I'll admit I felt out of place for a little bit. I wasn't sure why but the humor and energy of the group raised my spirits. Sadly, I gave in to the trance of the pizookie.

It's funny how my day turns around whenever Selle calls me up. For some odd (but good) reason, we end up making a whole night of that phone call...unlike a few people that I know. Heh...no names mentioned and I'm sure that this person doesn't take the time to read this thing either. ANNNNYWAY, I'm just aimlessly away from home.

Ahhh...it's always nice to sleep in and know that there's not a single worry in the world.

I'm such a loser. I keep staring at my new layout. hahaha

Before I go to sleep, let me tell you that I really love my cousin Ivy. Even though we don't see each other too often, we have buttloads of fun just being together. I would do almost anything for her. I'm glad that she had a good time at the retreat. She got to be my daughter for a week. It was hard but it certainly wasn't bad. Oh...Ivy, if you're reading this...thanks for making me feel important to this world...and you owe me $40.00 hee hee. j/m LOVE YOU!

Alright! I got my new layout done! I told you that this week is my week for change.

I have nothing to talk about...hmmm that actually feels good to say. I am totally relaxed........................................

I think the best feeling in the world is when you finally relieve yourself after having to piss REALLY badly.

It's funny how things turn around so quickly. I guess I really underestimated myself, especially my self worth. I choose not to blog further, but to relish in my optimism. Good night.

GO SEE ICE AGE

My demons have died...

I really appreciate those who leave feedback; especially those whom I don't know. Thank you Camielle. I have decided to add you in my reads. To Kenny, it's always nice to hear from you.

It's about time I collect my thoughts, pray, and eventually sleep. I'm going to need the rest. I have a lot of shit to change and I start tomorrow.

I was reading Amaya's blog and for some reason, I was able to relate. I look around and wonder what went wrong. I hate everything. I hate myself. I hate my life. I've been left to die to my own vices. She wasn't the nail in the coffin. My brother opened my eyes...

This story really made me think twice about a lot of things...

What Goes Around Comes Around

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe, he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan never thought twice about the money. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "...and think of me". He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out-of-work actor, it didn't ring much. Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan. After the lady finished her meal, and the waitress went to get change for her hundred Dollar bill, the lady slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on the napkin under which was four $100 bills. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything, I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you".

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right; I love you, Bryan."

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole...it's okay. I know what you mean. I told you that I should be the last of your worries. Give me a call, though. We're on break now! WHOO HOO!

I've been surrounded with diluted people all day. What's with the paranoia with some people? Are they that insecure about themselves? Oh geez, don't even get me started with people who think that they speak ever-so-eloquently. SHUT UP! Life would just be better if they just SHUT UP! Who they hell are they to be such condecending morons? *rolls eyes* Plastic people bug me. Don't be fake...it's SOOO obvious. Hey, if I didn't like you...you'd know it.

Those were the thoughts that have been looming for the past 12 hours. Forgive me, I have a tendency to rant (or bitch and moan) about certain things.

Off to snoozy-land...

It's over. I didn't do anything to culminate my hard work for the week. heh. What did I do? Well, I didn't get a call back to go clubbing, but whatever. I ended up taking a long shower to unwind and and grabbed a brick of Thrifty's ice cream and curled up to watch some TV in my cozy robe.

Oh well...Thank God that it's SPRING BREAK! It's not like I'm headed to some little Mexican town to get shitfaced or anything. I'm ready to just relax.

Oh, and happy belated vernal equinox...

I'm giving up on this history paper. I have no idea what to do. It's not due until 5pm tomorrow. I have other things to study for and this house is not a very healthy learning environment. I'll see what I can do about it tomorrow. It's hopeless trying to do this by myself. I'll move on to studying for my astronomy midterm.

Oh yeah...my weekend. Well, I lost the motivation and energy to give all of the juicy details so I guess I'll list them down.

1. (gay) clubbing
2. JDD (Junior Dinner Dance)
3. Served @ church's Saint Joseph Table

Of all the weekends the last one had to be the one that was busy. It's funny how things always balance. Last weekend, I was bitching and moaning about not doing anything.

In other news, Ariel got the SDYM mail up. I'll be changing the link on my blog. I'll still use my yahoo account but I think that I'll keep the SDYM too.

Hmmm...what to do now? SPRING BREAK IS ON THE HORIZON.

I'm not sure what to think. It took me only 20 minutes to complete that midterm. I studied as hard as I could last night, let's just hope I'm not in for some dissapointment.

When I'm not busy, I'm going to update these links. that means you're on deck Kim.

I know I've been dead for a few days. It's not like me to neglect my blog for more than a day. I had a myriad of shit this past weekend. I'd love to get more into it but I have midterm week and I'm in the middle of studying. (which isn't working out)

Just got home...details later. Well, I found out that I need a workout, but my ego was the thing that got a work out. If I have time, I'll explain my night. I had a great time. I'll be running around a lot tomorrow. Shit, I need to structure my day. I swear, someone's going to get on my bad side...I'm ready for it too.

zzzzzzz...

Okay, this computer is seriously getting on my nerves. There are errors up the wazoo on this thing and it's asking if I want to send an error report. I click "yes" and then it tells me that I need to connect to the net to send it. Hello? I'm on right now stupid ass!

Hey Gail, thanks for reminding me that the entire world went except for poor little Mark. hahaha. j/k

Nicole...I fixed it.

Well for those who are wondering what my current hair era is now...it looks something like this; the contemporary ivy league cut. My tita added some light brown highlights too.

I haven't been able to put myself together to write anything (I thought) that was worth reading. I don't know why I'm not really feeling this blog right now. In fact, I'm not feeling a lot stuff right now. I don't feel like myself.

I had a good day. I got a haircut...FINALLY.

can you tell i don't want to blog right now?

I'm sure we all know what happened 6 months ago. After half a year, I've noticed a lot of change. Some aren't so obvious as others though. I'm not going to sit here and actually try to recall everything. Just one instance today really made my day. I was going up on an escalator and I heard a little boy jumping up and down laughing on his way down. I've never seen anyone have so much fun just going downstairs. I guess I caught his eye and he smiled so big and waved at me. I waved back. That really picked up my slow day. I guess my weekend was basically bunk, but I really have no right to complain. I'm lucky enough to still have weekends. I'm seriously blessed.

Looking at my header tempts me to go back to the hair days I once knew. Any ideas on what to do with this fro-riffic hair of mine? Someone...ANYONE e-mail me with suggestions. If not, then I'm heading back to the header.

I don't remember the last time I voluntarily woke up this early. I'm usually asleep after taking my sister to school, but I have no intention of napping until I have to get to work.

Anyway, parents can be so difficult to tend to. Earlier, I took my mom to her doctor's office. She was being a total front seat driver. I hate having to drive my parents places. They act like I've never driven before. I'd angrily respond to their inane comments and they'd "assure" me that they're trying to help. I seriously doubt that stating the obvious or pestering over my driving technique every other minute helps me.

In other news, Gail must've had the time of her life in San Diego at the *NSYNC concert. Oh, and speaking of the not-so-boy band, I heard them on KIIS fm this morning and learned a few things that I didn't know about them. (Yes...top-40 haters, I am a fan...wait, it's not like I need your validation. Wait, why am I assuming that people are reading this?!)

In other-other news, work has stopped taking requests off forever. What the fuck is that? Shit, they might as well write me up when/if I can't get my shifts covered. That's lazy management. I can care less. I know where my priorities are. What are they going to do, fire me? Please. the scales of "should I quit or not?" has been tipped once again. (no pun intended)

Damn, it's almost sunday...where did my weekend go?

I had a great night tonight. Elisa (one of my students) and Caren came to visit me. It turns out that they stayed from beginning to end. They really made my shift much more pleasant. Tips weren't something to laugh at either. It was nice to just hang out with them. I finally got to be with them in a different element. Anyway, I borrowed The Goonies from her. I've always heard other people talk about that movie but I've never seen it. Blah...I'm so out of the loop.

Hmmm...I think I'm going to bake some cookies. =)

Thank you Dave...I'm glad someone had to say something. ("Annoyance Rambles")

The world strikes again.

First, I get screwed by someone.

Then hmph...next day my ass. I decided to develop my picutes at Sav-on. It took two days for my pictures to come in. Then, there were 4 shots missing from the stack. I return AGAIN to have the rest developed. The clerk told me that it would take 2 days. Those fuckers, I gave them an exrta day and the pictures are STILL not in. I'll be checking tomorrow and they better have the picutres.

Finally, I read my math book (for once) and discovered the biggest mistake in my book. Pages 201-232 repeat, which eliminates two sections in my book.

When will the madness end?

*sigh* I'm sleepy. Oh, I'm over it. I also got a call from Aiyah. I love you girly-girl! You and Nicole are going to color me up right? Bleh, I'll change the currents later. As if you people read em...heh.

*YAWN* I'm going to sleep.

Sucks...I shouldn't have rejected an offer to wait on another. I'm not going to wait for people anymore. "I'll call you" is a phrase that I don't really believe anymore. Crap, another opportunity for galavanting has been lost. I'm sure there are always good explanations when I get dissed. I've done it...once.

Well whaddaya know...

There was a thought that came to mind. It's funny how more social I've become. I'm not so much of an introvert (which is totally not my style) here on campus this semester. I beamed games into a stranger's Palm Pilot. Yeah, I know that was a geeky way to communicate, but it would have been rude to ignore him right? I thought so. Well, I'm caught up with my Math reading, now all I need to do is bone up on my Astronomy class. Hmm, I haven't really been going.

The other day I found out how much I know Nsync. I was watching KCAL, which I seldom do and came across some game called To Tell the Truth. The object of the game was to guess which of the three people in the pool was telling the truth. The subject was "Who is the real Nsync (Joey Fatone's) dad?" Surprisingly, I watched it from beginning to end. To me, the second guy was OBVIOUSLY too young to be the one. The third one was real shady, but his answers were wrong. Everyone knows that there's no James in the group and their latest hit wasn't called "Dirty Dog." So it had to be the first one. What a stupid panel of celebrity judges. They totally bought his act and so did the audience. Only one judge picked the right one alongside me. What? Me? Teenybopper? nooooooo...

Since we're on the subject, I don't see why people are ashamed to admit that they are fans or at least admirers of the band. C'mon, I'll admit I'm a fan but it's not like their my #1 choice for music. I'm pretty sure I can raise as many eyebrows by declaring what kinds of music I like. It's all ear candy to me anyway. Sway me, and you've won me over.

Okay, I'm going to find something worth doing here on campus for the next hour or so. I have some reading to do. bleh.

Maybe I'll have a thought between now and English class.

I decided not to go to my first class. I'm about 30 minutes late anyway. I might as well just read the chapter(s) for the day and I'll be all set.

Hmmm...I totally short changed someone tonight. I feel kinda bad about it. I'll try to make it up to this person tomorrow.

**Pizookies are cool!**

Well, let me admit that tonight was a total esteem booster. I was on a roll tonight.

In other news...
I hate my camera so much. I'm so ready to chuck it. I know I said that I was going to give it a chance, but seriously folks. It has GOTTA GO! I'm willing to buy a higher grade Kodak camera so I can still use the dock or get a new camera all together.

Consider this a vow to pinch every penny.

Yeah, still annoyed with the world...

FUCK. I'm not even going to amplify my anger by blogging about it. If you push me around long enough then you know I'll get pissed off. It's also nice to know that all of the people that I wanted to see weren't so willing to see me as I was willing to see them. Everyone just fuck off. I'm in no mood to put up with anyone's shit.

sing me a song of forgotten days

watching the sun set over the pacific ocean and suddenly things come to mind that you hadn't thought of in ages and all the while you know they're there in the back of your mind keepin you sane keepin it real and as the moon rises welcoming the blackest of night and the twinkling eyes above me reach out and take my hand i hear voices whispers in the dark melodies of lost days and friendships left too long to the wind and the chorus of a day not so long ago past another takes it's place and i see the voices take shape in the wind rustling through the trees whipping around the earth like a cloud cought on a tree branch wrapping it's fingers around the sky enveloping me in the cotton candy dreams of my youth i recognize those laments and visions of palestrina and mozart dance before my eyes i close them and the voices sing soft lullabys as the twinkling eyes above me kiss me to sleep and carry me off across the pacific toward the horizon. love, your bitch

I remember you...an "asshole" can never forget.

I had a great time tonight! I ended up going to Soup Supper tonight. After Gail, Kookie, Paul, Jaime, and I went to go see 40 Days and 40 Nights Real good movie. Well, it's late I have to get up and get my paycheck in the morning and run some errands. It's my Lola's surprise birthday party.