I had an informal job interview for an advertising agency tonight. It was with an old friend who promised that he's going to utilize my talent one day and today was the day he called. It's in my nature to maintain some sort of professionalism even when it's considered informal. I seek respect upon first impression - especially to employers and clients.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if my skill set would work out for the intended position, but my pending boss was willing to train me in all I needed to know. Naturally, I can't be a phenomenon right away..so I gotta start somewhere.

Change it's happening again...and it's feeling right this time.

Thank you for the prayers and the good vibes.

I'm feeling better.

I'm feeling life.



Ya feeling me?!

Change is a deadly, concealed weapon and unfortunately, it's in point blank range - right between my eyes. Each doubt-toting round fires louder and deadlier than the last. BANG. One into my stability. BANG. Another into my faith. These past few days have begun either my success or my undoing. I never really expected life as a twenty-something to be THIS complicated. With all these gunshot wounds, I feel like I'm hopelessly bleeding change. As the change drips and pools onto the pavement, life continues to reveal itself. It's time to grow up, and growing up means something's going to sink beneath me as I rise. I thought I had it all figured out. Life made sense up until now.

I indifferently stare at myself in the mirror. My short, labored sigh speaks. It implies my shaken confidence. It narrates my struggle with my sense of self and security. It reassures me that I am talented, artistic person. It reveals my fear as one of my best friends stares mortality in its cold eyes. As this fuck wave of change and possible improvement builds, I struggle to swim in my own reality.

No. My life isn't bad, but life itself should just be better than I perceive it to be right now... and right now, I'm conflicted and scared.

I have to improve...always. Each facet needs to be better.

I need to get better.

Apparently life is the question with no wrong answer, right?




"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish, and stupid." - Pinititus

Twitter is ridiculous. It makes me realize I don't have time to blog. I have so many thoughts and ideas that would have made great posts, but duh. For a guy without a fuckin job, I sure neglect so many things.




Really, I'm feeling pretty fuckin pathetic.