There are only a few hours left for 2001...For some reason I feel like I'm parting with something that has been a real big part of my life. I've had a lot of hardships but each one proved to have great rewards in the end. This year, everyone is doing their own thing and I can't help but feel segregated from everyone. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I'm still fortunate enough to be able to celebrate the New Year with my family. After all it is a Kaiklian tradition that has taken place for over 14 years. I turned down 3 parties and an all-expense paid trip to Disneyland and CA Adventure.

I'm feeling empty right now. I don't know why. It's no one's fault...

I'm ready to ring in the new year with open arms and sober ones at that. Here comes some changes in my life. Are you ready???

I guess I was so jaded last night that I didn't mention that I went to have some boba last night with some good friends. I had a great time. These pics should speak for themselves:

I obviously fell off the boat last night, but that doesn't mean that I regret everything I said early this morning. I looked at the year differently when I woke up this morning. I'm much more mature than I was before. I'm much more responsible (with certain things) and I have buttloads of friends that love me as much as I love them. One step at a time...and eventually I'll be in the ideal position.

My New Year's resolution = not to take things for granted and work for the long term goals. map out my progress and be in the ideal position of the moment

Meanwhile, back in Diego where Julie and Adolfo were stuck keyless:

It turned out that they got the key later that morning. I asked why the option was me and in fact I WAS the last option. As I type, they are crossing the border to vacation for the next 3 days. **sigh** I love happy endings...don't you? (I wonder what they'll bring me...) =P

Res speaks to me. This is the 3rd time the CD looped and I'm seriously feeling her vibe. She's real. The lyrics make sense and aren't all sappy like music that's publicated on radio. My musical horizons have just expanded. I think you should listen to her art and I hope that you appreciate it as much as I do.

And the you wonder why I need some time to myself. You're the reason why. I want to be by myself. And then you wonder why I want to be alone. You're the reason why. And in the middle of the night I can hear you wonderin'...Are there things that I should know. You ain't foolin' me

The year of 2001 is now at an end. As of right now, I'm telling myself that there was a lot of change involved. My friends have been well defined in 2001. I made a list of 28 lifetime goals for myself and ended up acheiving only two of them. Some of the goals I've set for myself aren't going to help me at all. In fact, some of them, I'm too scared to attempt. Now, I'm not suggesting that the past year was a failure, but it sure as hell wasn't a success. Right now, I don't know what I've done for myself for the past year. I haven't been doing all too well in college since I started. I'm driving myself broke. I'm not in the best physical shape I'd like to be in. I'm single. I've been lazy and irresponsible. I still work in the "you suck as a server, but we need you" table stations at work. I'm not even a cantor in the choir I've been in for 6 years. I have no awards for anything. I didn't even qualify for any scholorships or grants. I feel like I lost my connection with my confirmation students. Despite what I have told you...I have NO IDEA what I want to do with my life. Oh and I've been told that I'm "too busy" for some of the people in my life and at times, I feel so distant from everyone...I keep telling myself that things will change and that I'll be truly happy with myself. Am I?! no... You know why? I haven't come to grips with my own reality. The sad part is that I don't even know what it is.

Don't tell me that I'm being hard on myself. Don't tell me that it's not true. Don't convince me that I have a purpose. Don't reassure me by telling me that "it's gonna be okay." Don't think that I'm not grateful for anything in 2001. It's just that maybe I took too many things for granted. Now the rotted fruits of my labor (lack there of), have been made obvious to me. I'm fully aware that I haven't been noticed for anything that I do, and I can care less. Just remind me that I exist.

WAKE UP MARK...YOU CAN'T TELL YOURSELF ALL OF THIS BS ANYMORE...Do something already...

Gail was bitten by the update bug too!

Poop read my blog about yesterday's mission and...well this speaks for itself...

poop: ur too cool
poop: i hate it
poop: lol
me: whhhhat?
me: please
poop: what?
poop: u are
poop: its... sickening... lol, be evil for once!
poop: lol
me: what?
me: hahaha...
me: i can be...
poop: sigh... thanks... its people like you who make me appreciate my friends
me: well theres nothing like the RC
poop: =)

**That made my night...thanks poopers.**

I can't even remember the last time that I walked out with more than 15%. I made enough to pay off everyone so I can save up the rest to have some fun. Selle's family came on over tonight at work and it was nice to meet all of them...=) Other than that, there was nothing really worth mentioning so I guess I'm heading off to bed...

I just came home from an interesting night...

After taking Ivy home, I spent a little bit of time talking to my Tita Yoli. Just a little chit-chat here and there and kinda trying to convince her that Ivy's doing a great job in Confirmation (which she is!) Ivy and I decided to catch up and do a little chit chatting of our own. Early on in our conversation, Adolfo calls out of the blue. For the record, he's not one to really call me. "Hey, I'm in a bit of trouble..." he said. I immediately asked what I can do to help him out and he explained the whole situation. It turns out that his car key broke and his spare was back in Glendale. "Dood, you can say no..." Who was I to say "no" to a stranded Adolfo? I was in no position to refuse. So, they weren't going to let me drive my ass to Daygo so they had me relay the key to someone else...who happened to live in Playa Del Rey. I hauled ass there and got lost a for sec but I was able to find the place and drop off the key. I assumed that they were asleep by the time I reported back to Adolfo. So I just left a message instead. Anyway, I'll fill in the blanks as soon as I get the rest of the story.

I don't know about you, but I'm pooped from all of that worrysome driving that I just did. I'm going to sleep in again today and I'm going call Adolfo and Jules up to see if everything went okay.

What are friends for? I'm sure someone out there would have busted a mission for me too...right?

I had no idea that the jacket that I had just purchased was more popular than breathing. Anyway, I thought that I'd try to blog to kill some time since, for some odd reason, I'm finding it pretty hard to mingle with the crowd. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the crowd. I guess it's the vibe that I'm not really feeling. Nonetheless, I had a good time since I got here at Monica's house. It's nice to be able to just spend time and forget what's lurking beyond her front door. I had no idea that it was going to be such a big event. I really wanted to go since I didn't even have to go to work today. The new guy was more that happy to pick up my shift. Now that Kris, Gail, Tanya, & Herbs left, I'm finding it difficult to relate with the crowd here. It's obviously a different one, but certainly not a bad one. Am I just getting old or what? heh heh. Who knows...the only reason why I'm still here in the first place is because Ivy, my cousin is having a blast and I'm not one to be a KJ.

Mon, thanks for inviting me over. I'm sorry I was all spacy near the end though. It's not your fault. I'm thinking that the chess game drained me out. hahaha. Oh and Kris, happy birthday! I guess that should be it for now. I shouldn't even be tying up her phone line. Thanks again Mon...

Ahhh...I finally got that A&F track jacket tonight at the gal. I also got that pesky little LCD blue light fixed. Anyway, I'm on my way to being debt free and I'm pretty damn happy that I got that jacket I wanted. I have work tomorrow night and I'm hoping that I'm going to make enough to pay my phone bill. I'm sure I will. Okay, I'm about to go to Monica's house to have some fun. Oh, something quite the interesting happened while I scampered through the mall. We'll see if I decide to mention later. Until then, I'm off to see some SDYM people.

I cut off all of my hair......pics to come later. No more pretty boy hair =(

The layout bug finally bit kris in the ass... =P

I can't sleep and I'm having that uneasy feeling again. Those who know me best know that when I have these "intuitions", there's a probable chance that something is definately not right in my world. It's still irking me and I hope I'm wrong this time. It bothers me that I can't shake this tension inside. I hope you are all taking care out there.

[Thanks to the blogger team for fixing the problem.]

Christmas Day was something that won't be forgotten anytime soon. Everything that I received I was more than happy to receive. Although the best gift wrap in the envelope (if you catch my drift), I received some clothes that I can certainly use. At the end of the night, Selle, Aiyah, and I ended up going to watch Ocean's Eleven. If you haven't seen it yet...you better go.

I have some good news and bad news...

The good news is that I went clubbing for the first time in months. The reopening of Rewind totally drew a crowd. I'm not surpirsed that the typicals were there to celebrate the establishment. If it weren't for Nicole I wouldn't have known about it. I wonder if she was able to go. In any case, I had a great time and saw some old faces and some of those faces should have remained unseen. Anyway, I'm glad that I had the money to go out and actually shake my money maker.

The bad news...I found out that my Lolo is in the hospital again. My dad said that he contracted some sort of virus. That wasn't something that I wanted to hear when I was waken up this morning. It scared me that I had to wear a medical mask just to go and see him. It relieved me that he was in high spirits and talking to all of us. We joked that he was going to play mah jhongg again and take all of my uncles' money. hahaha =) Please keep my Lolo and my family in your prayers...and if I'm in a spaced out mood, let me be.

In other news, I decided to stay home the rest of the night. The rest of the family went to a dinner at their friends house.

Well, anyway...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

More to blog later...until then, enjoy the company of your loved ones.

Okay, before I rant and rave about today. I want to let everyone know that there was a weird problem with blogger earlier. It seems that everyone's passwords for their blogs were changed. If it happened to you, email me and I'll let you know how to fix it. I went on the threads and I was able to solve the problem. I hope you other bloggers fixed the problem.

Whoa...it's...

CHRISTMAS EVE!

I thought I was going to blow a gasket today. Earlier, I wanted to post evil profanities to all of my customers for tipping me 10%. I'm not bitter anymore....really...I'm not. I went to church even though I was about 20 minutes late. It so happened that Aileen was attending the same mass. I was still pretty bitter about work but I just wanted to vent. I dragged her along with me to get the last collectible at Best Buy. Being the impulsive shopper that I am, I ended up buying myself something to make myself feel better. I was able to complete my *Nsync collection and get myself the Janet Jackson DVD. As we browsed, Ronnell gave me a ring and it turned out that he was as bored as we were. I didn't want to do anything too big since I had a long, cheap day at work. The three of us decided to make it a Blockbuster Night. So...we rented SHREK and I ended up buying Save the Last Dance. (Man, I've been giving my DVD player a workout!) We popped some popcorn and popped it into my computer and curled into the couch.

Save the Last Dance really wanted me to go out there and shake my ass in a club. When was the last time I went people? Now that the "typical" clubs are shot, now where do we go? Oh hey and Selle, we should seriously bust a Sara and Derrick at a club...=P

It occured to me that all the bullshit that I went through really just went away after seeing Aileen and Ronnell. It's kinda nice to just sit and relax. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I can take a nap in the middle of a long day. Anyway, I feel buttloads better after buying a couple of DVD's to forget my troubles. Well, I guess that means that I'm going to have to be a little more careful with the rest of my money. Keep me in check people.

In other news, Adolfo is finally getting rid of that cast. Now, he's not going to have Julie cut his food for him anymore...hahaha j/m. Oh...thanks Jay-R. I came home to a silver box that was meant for me. You really didn't have to. =)

After work, things started looking up Markeeee. I'm ready to get some sleep and maybe do something tomorrow. We'll see though. I have some favors to do, rooms to clean, and errands to run. But I think I'll munch on more cookies and stay online a bit longer.

I changed my guestbook again. I think this time the dreambook might be better than the last guestbook...SO SIGN IT ALREADY!

Ever been insanely dissapointed? Tonight was my night for that. Don't get me wrong, it had nothing to do with the people I was with. Not Another Teen Movie didn't tickle me at all. Okay, a few of the scenes were worthy of at least a chuckle, but I think I had more fun time realizing that my butt was numb in the middle of the movie. Anyway, all things considered, I think I had a good time. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't feel third wheel at times. That's what I get for being single, huh? It was nice of Julie and Adolfo to try to avoid that. I'm sorry that it took forever for dinner to come. I'm sorry that the movie I seemingly insisted on wasn't the best choice. I'm not sorry about the fact that Julie and I got a little more personal. I'm glad that I was able to absorb your personality. You guys are seriously good company. Thanks so much for the goodie basket. I'll give those cookies a really good home =). It's always nice to be out with you guys. Maybe next time there'll be less drama...

I'm going to take Adolfo's advice and not stay up too late. I need to get some sleep anyway and I'm eagerly awaiting Gail's get together. It's so close to Christmas but what's weird is that I'm not really feeling it anymore. What happened? Eh, I'll let that thought marinate a little bit and maybe I can go in depth with that later. Until then, I'm off to my A&F jammies and hittin the hay. Oh, and Adolfo...A Jenny Jones and video game chill day doesn't sound too bad...That's what vacation is for right? Oh and Julie, have fun in Big Bear and I appreciate you going out even though you're leaving in less than 6 hours.

Okay, I'll shut up now. Until I wake up...whenever that is...

me: read my blog for a sec.............
poop: oooh...
poop: i was quiet when i got home
poop: whoops...
poop: i went ot sleep
poop: and just woke up
me: omigosh...your mom was like yellin at me...
me: that's what i figured might have happened
poop: hehe
poop: oooh...sorry
poop: what she say?
me: its ok...
me: i dunno
me: all i got was..."wrong number?! (cannot translate) wrong number?!?!?!"
poop: hehe
me: dammit poop...got me all worried...i even turned on my high beams on your street and driveway to see if your were dead..........
poop: haha
me: i called up kenny and he kept me sane
poop: :-(
poop: aw
poop: thats....nice
poop: ?
poop: hehe
poop: thanks
me: make more noise when you come home next time
me: hahahaha
me: see how much i care about you people?

with that said...I'm going to bed...

I'm back...I checked the whole street and his driveway. I don't know what's going on, but there wasn't anything unusual in poop's part of town. I wonder what was going on...Kenny's reassuring me that there was some sort of miscommunication. Eh...I hope it is.

Okay, my phone keeps getting calls from the Thi residence. Frankly, it's worrying me. I dropped him off right in front of his house...I swear I did. I'm getting out of here and I'm going to check out what the hell is going on.

Stephen's mom just called me...I think she was yelling at me in Chinese. Um...Stephen's been home for well over an hour now Mrs. Thi... -_-;

Call me weird. Call me odd. Call me stupid. I bought a slurpee in the pouring rain.Yes, that's right. I'm enjoying a Code Red Slurpee as I blog tonight. Anyway, I'm in a very good mood. After a night at Casa Bianca, we all trudged through the rain to my house. It's all in a nutshell in the previous blog.

I'm going to be in a really good mood tomorrow at work. I got to just let go and let God. I remember what it was like to just be stupid and forget everything that bothered me. This group really means a lot to me and I'm so glad that we had dinner together. I'm loving this holiday season! **sigh** I'm gonna ride this high until reality bites me in the ass.

[Selle, you left the video in my VCR...]

RC ROCKS!!!

It's funny how successful this whole plan was. I was able to see most of the RC tonight and they are still at my house just fooling around. I guess there's nothing to complain about now that they tore up my room...haha. The scene was horrible; beach balls and pillows everywhere! I'm glad that I helped plan this whole get together. It's a shame that not everyone was able to join us though. It was good to see old faces and just being the RC. Thanks Jhen for the "phone condom"...hee hee. I really appreciate the fact you got me something. We all reminiced with the Debut video and just hung out like old times. Right now we're all playing conentration, an old we all used to do to attract attention in public and frankly, it looks like that this game is gonna get me in trouble tomorrow too...heh heh. It's all good. Well, I really should go. More details and I'll change the currents when I get back. I gotta take some Royal people home. I'll be back soon...HANG TIGHT.

I didn't set my alarm last night so I didn't wake up to go to CSUN. But you know what? I don't care. The fact that I got to sleep in made me happy. It reminded me that I'm going to see some good friends tonight and just hang out at my house. I don't care if I don't have any money to spend with them...all I have is my time. I'm just going to make the most of the get together later tonight.

It seriously sucks to be broke. I have a Christmas dinner with the RC tomorrow night and I have no money. I am now, officially broke. I cannot touch the money in my accounts or there won't be anythig left. I'm pushing myself to go to campus tomorrow to take care of that stupid registration bullshit. I really need to get it together. I don't even know what happened to me over the past few days. All I need is to get everything done so I can just look out for number one...ME.

Well, confirmation is over for the year 2001. It wasn't exactly as I had visualized it. Only half of my students showed and I didn't even talk to any of them. Have I lost that connection with my students? Ugh, I feel as though I don't get the same respect from my group like I used to. Only two of my students bothered to say goodbye to me and wish me a Merry Christmas. Wow...now what? I'm grateful these two remembered me before they see me again in about 3 weeks. I guess I really need to work on that. We haven't really been on the same wavelength ever since the second year started.

Other things have been bothering me too. What does it take to stay original nowadays? I swear I'm going to have to really persevere; be so far ahead that people will be saying, "Shit, why didn't I think of that?!"

I'm not going to let little things get to me. The weight of the world hasn't crushed me yet. I'm not going to be overwhelmed by bullshit. I may be riddled with annoyances, but I know that I'm better than just to let people get to me...

I just got back from visiting Dave's place. It was weird getting to meet someone after reading their blogs. I mean, I read about this guy's insight and now I meet him...It was a trip. Anyway, if you haven't read him up lately...I think you should. Great guy and a hell of a cook...

It's off to bed for me. I'm not even sure I want to go to campus tomorrow.

First off, thanks to Dave for having me over, thanks for letting me poke through your stuff. It was nice meeting you.

I ended up getting my stuff for confirmation done early and was able to road trip with Aiyah. I'm glad she invited me over, I haven't had a thing to do all day, considering I didn't go to campus today like I was supposed to. I find out my fate for my Geology class tomorrow so I rationalized that I could kill 2 birds with one stone and find out my grade and bitch to the conselors in one trip.

Gash...I hate being broke. I feel like such a leech when people pay for me. I don't want them to do that. It's not that I don't appreciate it. Let's face it. I'm a weak taker. It's difficult for me to just let someone give me something. I'm usually the one paying for people and now the tables have turned. I'm broke and it's just weird to take from my friends. Is it karma coming back to me?

It's funny how theraputic it is to clean a room. I feel so much better about myself and damn my room looks so much cooler now. Anyway, I'm killing time before Marian comes over to work on some stuff for confirmation. Aiyah asked me to road trip with her tonight and I hope that I can go. Oh, and a good friend of mine is pregnant. Trippy, eh? I didn't know what to say. I mean, I was pretty mad but she was so happy about it. I let my anger subside and tried to be as supportive as I could. I told her that God sent her an angel. I just hope that everything turns out for the best. **sigh** so much is going on lately huh?

I woke up this morning wondering why the dog didn't bark her furry ass off. I took my sister to school this morning and I was surprised to notice that there was no puffy pomeranian high tailing me. I thought nothing of it and I resumed taking Geni to school. I hate having to take her to school. It's not the early hour that bugs me. It's the rushing parents dropping off the students. They piss me off. They cut me off and try to run me over just so they can drop off their spoiled little brats. (That's a whole other story all together...) I dropped her off and headed the long way home since the mad moms in minivans blocked me from trying to make a U turn. Usually, when anyone opens the door to enter the house, the dog starts yappin away. This time, I wasn't greeted with a doggie alarm. I called her out and she didn't respond. I immediately thought the worst and walked outside to see if she had run outside. It struck me odd that she was nowhere to be found and she didn't respond. I walked into Geni's room and checked one more time. I fixed her bed and my dog was there under the covers. It turns out that she didn't walk up to me because her legs were caught inside her dog sweater...Ugh...another reason why I don't like it when owners dress up their dogs...my mom I swear...

Dammit, I can't change my currents so I guess I'll do that later.

I GOT MY NEW COMPUTER TODAY!!!

I was supposed to head off to sleep, but I guess I was in the mood to blog.

I just had a long conference conversation with 2 of my best friends. It's good to know that I'm blessed with their friendships. I'm lucky to have friends like Aileen and Ronnell. I can't remember the last time I was on the phone that long with either one of them. For once, I wasn't "too busy for my friends." It was refreshing to know that even though we're going our own ways, we still manage to stay in contact. I've known Aileen for 6 years and Ronnell for 15 years. That only proves that time doesn't fade shit.

Christmas has really taken a toll on me...in a good way. Despite my depleted bank account, the satisfaction of getting presents for the ones that I love was well worth becoming broke. I never expect anything in return. That's just damn selfish. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I try to be as selfless as I possibly can. I've also come to understand that I have to be a taker in order to be a good giver. Just their gratitude gives me a feeling that I never get, and that's all I really need in return. The holidays is the opportunity for me to express how much the people in my life mean to me. It's just unfortunate that I'm not able to give presents to everyone.

It doesn't really matter that I don't have that "special someone" to share the holidays with. I have the security of knowing that I have my friends and family. I think that it's safe to say that I've walking in my own winter wonderland for the past couple of weeks.

The new layout is growing on me...

2 more days until the new computer arrives!

Today was a pretty good day. Gail, you really can make a guy feel spoiled...hee hee. Thanks nonetheless. Oh and I didn't have to "pay" for that ice cream.

I updated just as I promised...

I think I should clean up the rest of my life now that I'm on vacation. The premiere was pretty premature, but I need something to do over the vacation so I figured that I should blog as I construct the other parts of the site. I lots of things that I want to put up here, but we'll see how forgiving my schedule is. I hope you like the new digs, it took me a while to get it up.

I've been couped up in this house all day. I'm not complaining. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather. It seriously sucks to be sick. Anyway, I'm trying to shake this virus so I can perform on Saturday. To pass the time, I'm just going to write up that AAS paper. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

I'm going to lay off the blog for today...at least try to. I need to get things done, so I'll blog ya later. =)

Ariel lent me this nifty computer =). I can actually get things done now that I have this loaner console. Thanks again Ariel and have a safe trip...we'll miss you.

I owe Ariel big time...I swear. All these things that he does for me, I feel so bad sometimes...

Whoa, It's been a while since I blogged.

Well, finals are over and there are a few interesting tales to tell. Actually, not all that interesting.

Last week I realized how "Asian" I was. I went to a friend's apartment and bluntly put, 2/3 of that household is NOT asian. By force of habit and culture (one would assume), I removed my shoes at the doorway and left them outside. "Um, what are you doing?" Melissa asked. "I'm Asian remember?" We both laughed. It's odd how people don't know that habits can come from our very own culture. It never occured to me that it would be odd for other people for me to leave my shoes outside as respect to their house. Don't get me wrong, there was no negativity in the air, but it certainly was a scene.

In other news, I've been full of it. It, being Christmas cheer. I've been done with Christmas shopping and I gave some of them out at the employee party last night. I forgot how good it felt to just be selfless. To know that maybe I made someone's day despite my feelings. I never expect anything in return, but I'm going to be a little more open-minded this year and graciously accept things if I so happen to receive something. My former youth minister once told me, "In order to be a good giver, you must learn to be a taker." In other words, be humble when good things are upon you and be be selfless when giving to others. Man....this gift giving stuff gets kind of addicting...haha =)

The new computer will be arriving on the 18th. I'll be updating very soon and I'll be able play online again. The update should be up by the first week of 2002. Until then, this might be the last blog until I get my new computer.

I'm going to head home as soon as I read the other blogs. After Thursday, I free to wallow in my own crapulence. =P Well, I'm working friday...hey Adolfo, do you and Julie want to hang out after work then? heh heh...

Thanks Gail!

Thats it. Good Night...

There's nothing to complain about today. I had a great day at work, I'm going out with some friends tonight for some Christmas shopping. Speaking of Christmas shopping, for those who think that I'm going to actually going to reveal what I may have bought you, everything that I purchase will stay in the confidence of me and possibly the person who helped with the purchase. Hey...tough noogies...I may be dumb, not dense. heh heh. With that said, the sensations of the season have been welling up within me. Everytime the the cool, crisp wind passes, I feel all Christmassy inside. I can't wait to get all of my shopping done and give everything out. That's always the best part.

The karma gods are smiling upon me today and I am surely smiling back.

Hopefully, I'll have something worth blogging about next time I have a computer available. Take care and stay warm.

I found a $20 bill in my glove compartment! I rock...

Okay, no more complaining about what to get. I don't want complaints like i got on my birthday. Although I don't want anything from anyone...My list and information is up. Most of these are things are what I need. I don't necessarily want anything. C'mon, it's hard for a giver to be a taker.

The day is slowly leaning towards shitty. I totally forgot about going to the museum for an assignment that I was supposed to do for Geology class. As a result of my dumbass-ness, I ended up getting up much earlier than usual to go there. I ended up having to miss my Geology class too. The traffic was merely a crawl and I was getting pretty irritated. After about 45 minutes I get there and I had to pay $5.00 for parking and $5.50 for the wretched admission. I was only able to stay there for about 30 minutes and these little kids didn't make my mission much easier. I boned about and I hauled ass to school. I almost got sideswiped by a red necked big rig. "There are mirrors for a reason, moron!" When I finally got to campus, I figured I'd try to park close to the campus. I guess that was the only thing that was worth my time today. Don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of improvement for this day.

In other news, something didn't agree with me last monday and tuesday night. I couldn't sleep for until about 4am. I wasn't sure why, but I had some negative intuition. I didn't find out until I ran into Adolfo. It turns out that he injured himself snowboarding eariler this week. I don't know why I sense these things. Hmmm...of all people...Anyway, even if that's not what the vibe meant, it's the most convenient reason so far.

I can't wait for vacation to start. I've been pulling my hair out all semester....

I'm feeling pretty good today. As a result of my anal nature, I was able to kick my persuasive speech in the ass. Now that it's done, I have NOTHING to do for the next week or so. GIVE ME A CALL PEOPLE! LET'S GO OUT! MARK'S BACK ON BLOGGER. I'll be getting my new layout done when the new computer comes. I know that I keep saying that but, the new layout will be my winter break project.

The wind is really refreshing my soul today. It's a bit cold but it's nothing that I can't handle. It's certainly the sign of the season now. I'm actually inspired to get out there and do some Christmas shopping. Marienella assured me that things will work out just fine. I didn't think about the fact that my schedule will open up much more since I'll be on break for 6 whole weeks. Now that I have a renewed sense of self and strengthened my friendships with my co-workers, I feel more secure about myself. I feel very sure on what I am going to do. **sigh** Tell all your friends that I'm going to continue blogging. I'll cease every opportunity I get. Until my next entry, take care and I'll renovate soon....PROMISE.

Remember me? I'm sure you do. I don't think that anyone would want to check this since my comptuer crashed. Anyway, I'm at Aileen's typing this up and I'm taking a short break. Oh, THANKS SO MUCH AIYAH! Islands on me? hee hee. Speaking of Islands, I haven't been giving one person his due credit. Adolfo...what a cool guy. He's been there for me lately and I wish I knew what to say or do to make it up to him. I know I've been a whiny bitch lately and he's been one of the few that let me vent. I will take you clubbing one day sir. Count on that! hahaha. Anyway, thanks for just being a friend and hearing me out. I don't know what I would have done for the past week or so. If you're reading this...Thanks bud...

I've been trying to catch up with some RC people lately and I've been hoping to set up a video viewing party at my house. My room is still a virgin to the RC so I gotta have them break it in.

Thanksgiving you ask? Well, that was pretty eventful. If it weren't for this paper I'm doing, I'd fill you in on it.

Me thinks I'm getting into the holidays. The crisp cold weather, songs, images of charity and goodwill, and the media is certainly portraying the signs of the season. I promise to put a wish list up for the people that don't know what to get me....later.

Life has been very eventful for me but I'll blog about that when I make some time. I'll try to take advantage of CSUN's computers and keep you updated. I missed blogging!

I returned the laptop to Ariel, and I'm at Martin's house. I needed to get my tux buttons back. Anyway, I got to see my former leaders for confirmation. They live in New Hampshire now. They have the cutest little boy, Christopher. I had a surge of nostalgia tonight and I hope to see them again someday. They were the reason I became a leader. They inspired me to strive for only the best. Their witnessing really made a difference in my life. I never really gave a flying fuck about myself, let alone my religion. I found myself with God and I've been serving ever since I graduated with them. To Jem and Roger: Thanks for inspiring me to step and be a leader. You know what they say, "Good leaders always multiply." Thanks for everything. You really changed my life.

I'm hanging out at Martin's for now. Ah, the joys of high school...I don't really miss a thing...heh heh...Anyway, I don't want to go home because I was a bit annoyed with my parents earlier today. I won't go in to details, so I can just end my thought here.

I'm leaving to Frisco in a few hours. I haven't even packed, but I'm sure what I'm going to bring. Ate Daph, I'll be there soon!

Ariel, thanks again for the laptop, I owe you one big time!

I've given up. I surrendered to the cold loneliness of my empty house. This totally sucks. I just changed into my PJ's so I can go back to campus for an extra credit assignment tomorrow morning. I was dressed up as if I was going somewhere for over 3 hours. I didn't go anywhere but to check the fridge and use the bathroom. I was rejected 5 times with my offer for dinner. So I figured, fuck it...I've been deprived of the outside world since I got home at about 4:00. No one's been home since I arrived; not even the dog was here. What an empty feeling. I was hoping someone was going to call with something to do. I wanted to text Adolfo, but I seemed to have a knack for accidentally erasing the message before I sent it. I guess it's okay though, I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted to hear me bitch anyway. I'm already in my PJ's sulking in my solitude. I'll starve for a bit before I end up going to some 24 hour junk place. I lost my appetite and just want to go somewhere already. Fuck it...It's weird how everyone wants to see me but when I offer the chance, the opportunity isn't taken. Don't think that it's directed to anyone. I'm just a big fan of irony, that's all.

I'm at school trying desperately to pacify my jones for blogging. I spilled all of my thoughts here and I have nothing really constructive to say. Oh, Ariel, thanks for lending me the cool ass laptop. I know it's one of your "priceless" possesions and I owe you one big time. Thanks to him, I was able to get my speech done.

Here's a top ten to summarize the weekend:

1) My dad being so giving with everything. I didn't even have to ask and he really made that weekend happen for us...heh heh He kinda embarassed me there. I LOVE YOU DAD!
2) Finding a loophole in personal jinxing and having that laugh attack with everyone.
3) Fighting for the last robe in the room (which didn't exist...=P )
4) Realizing how lucky I am to be a part of SDYM. (We're Saint Super-Parish!)
5) Fellowhip & eating with everyone...Pantry, Numero Uno, Carl's, Sam Woo (Where's the Tsssssssssingtao!), Anyone call room service for chicken?
6) Hanging out in the lobby and playing cards.
7) Playing Connect 4 with Gail with our Palm Pilots...hee hee
8) Whooshing up and down the elevators.
9) Doodling all of us at the tables.
10) Just being with all of you really makes me so happy. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I HOPE WE DO IT AGAIN!

Now that I have this laptop for the time being, I'm so tempted to redo my layout, but I figured I'll change it when I get the new one. I'm going to head home and eat. I haven't eaten anything since I woke up this morning.

I don't know what the hell is up with the computers in our house. Now, the laptop refuses to power itself on. I'm at Gail's house blogging. I owe her another one! Man, my computer is so impotent compared to this bad boy. Anyway, I wanted to bid this blog bon voyage for the weekend. I'm going to head out to the Bonaventure in LA. My ever-so-cool dad managed to get the group a suite. It's great to have so many hook ups in the right places. =)

I'm going to have to pressure myself into getting my speech done. CRAP. Oh well, I'm pretty sure that I can pull it off.

Here I go! I'm still going to be local so I won't be far. This weekend is going to be a blast...

Bobby & Monica:
It's about time! I hope your relationship continues to grow just like our friendship.

I woke up this morning thinking that I was late for school. My little sister woke me up around 7:45 this morning and I had no idea that it was so early. I went to sleep about 2:00am and I couldn't believe that I woke up so refreshed. From that moment on, I knew that I was going to have a good day. My classes were totally kickback today and I'm diggin the vibes. I'm looking forward to this weekend because I'm finally going to go through with it. I'm going to take classes for Youth Minister Certification. I've always wanted to have a title for what I do. heh heh. Anyway, I've been looking forward to this weekend for a while now.

Since my computer's dead, I'm utilizing the services of the campus and using this incredibly fast T1 computer. I'm just hoping with the recent "domestic" disaster, we will be getting a new computer sooner than the family planned. It's in the works and I want Ariel to build it for us. Anyway, after a few days, I've come the conclusion that I am addicited to the blog. It has become so routine for me to just jot all of my thoughts down. This has now become an outlet for my emotions, thoughts, rants, and utter stupidity. I'm so glad that I have people who care enough about me to read this and find out what I'm going through.

In other news, I've decided to put up a Christmas Wish List. Why? According to all of my feedback from my birthday, my "b-day wish list" button wasn't very popular among my friends. This time, I'm going to take out all of the guesswork. The only problem with the list is that people might get repeat gifts. (not that I expect ANYTHING from anyone)

I must get going. I have to meet Elvira for a late lunch then it's off to my Asian Americans in the Media class.

I'm just blogging for the sake of my sanity. I'm at relaxtation right now and I figured that I'd get this out of my system. I really have thoughts but not now.

Some friend I've been. I haven't seen or talked to any of my Royal Crew buds. I'm always running every which way to get things done and I totally lost sight of the big picture. To all of my friends: I'm sorry I haven't been there when I should have. I've been doing my thing and gaining my happiness and now I find that some of my friends aren't even happy anymore. For what it's worth, I've missed everyone.

Oh and Selle, you're the funnest "boring" person I hang out with. Escort misses you so much...and we must get the Royal Crew back together.

Now I've done it. You know how much I bitch and moan about how my computer is so outdated. I bad-mouthed it so much that I killed the damn thing. That's right.

My computer crashed.

For those who can't figure out how I'm able to blog, I'm using my dad's laptop but all of the files that I need are gone until I figure out how to revive my dead computer. I swear what's with all of my misfortune? Well, misfortune is meant technology-wise. I'm totally on the level with school now. I just hope that I did well enough to get a decent grade in my Geology class. Anyway, I've been in a cave for the past 3 days. I haven't checked my mail. I haven't checked the SDYM posts. My buddy lists are gone. Crap. Oh well...

Can't blog today...I'm going to study.

I watched Monsters Inc. last night. I had a blast! I'd show you the pics but my comp sucks. I gotta go since my brother wants to blog.

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY GENI! YOUR KUYA MARK LOVES YOU VERY VERY MUCH!

I apologize for my crude language in my last post.

I didn't know that today was a national holiday...Piss the Shit Out of Mark day. Ugh...this stupid digital camera has given me nothing but frustration. I went through all of this bullshit today too. It turns out the expansion card wasn't even compatible to the damn camera. It's the one that I want but it doesn't even support compact flash. I don't even give a fuck anymore what it supports anymore. I had to return it and pay $10 extra dollars for one with only 15% of the capacity of the other one. On top of that, I find out that my computer is so fucking old that there's no USB port for me to plug my camera in. So basically, my camera is just a piece of shit right now. I can't do anything with it. I can't transfer the files. IT'S USELESS. Here's the best part: unless we get a new computer, I can't use it at all and I know that we're not going to be getting a new computer for a while. After today, I'm not spending ANY money. I don't care if I fucking starve. What? Me, bitter? Damn right I am. I went through all of this bullshit to get a camera that can't do anything for me and it won't be able to until we get a new computer. Fuck the camera, fuck this shitty computer, fuck this whole day...

**Right when I published this at 5:04...my computer decides to cut off my connection. ERRRRGH...**

thebluedestiny15: i haven't seen some of my friends for a while
Gail: why not?
thebluedestiny15: either im so busy or they are...
Gail: yeah, i know what that's like...
thebluedestiny15: but i know that should change...
thebluedestiny15: we still talk i guess
Gail: at least you guys talk...it's hard to try and make time for friends sometimes, but i guess we just have to push ourselves to just do it...
Gail: that's a measure of how important those friends are to us
thebluedestiny15: amen to that...

I miss everyone...=\

What the hell is with that bridge threats? I swear we can't even escape this whole mindset. Some, l imagine, are paranoid as hell.

I've been really boring lately. If I don't have an entry for the day, just assume that I have nothing to say. Oh PLEASE...no one call me this weekend. I really need (and want) to study for my GEOL exam. I can't afford to screw this one up.

I just came back from my dentist appointment. oh and...

BOO! I wish a ghoulish HALLOWEEN to everyone!

I'm sorry, I have nothing really meaningful to talk about. Maybe later...

I took this geek test and this is what my result was...hee hee.

I AM 39% GEEK.

I told you I was a geek.

I'm so full that it hurts. We went out on a short-notice type meeting. I guess shooting the shit was a good thing to do. A lot was said. A lot was resolved. A lot wasn't even realized until tonight. I won't get into details. After all, it's just between the leaders anyway. I was just glad to be with all of them again. I'm not going to work tomorrow so I guess I'll be planning on doing something with the SDYMers again.

I finally got a hold of an old friend via IM tonight. I was looking through my old books and found his screen name. I hoped that he'd remember who I was...but with one mutual term, he knew who I was on the spot. He's Mr. USC now. I remember him from our pre-calculus class in high school. Who could forget a guy like him? He was one of the most popular guys I knew...at least, that's how I viewed him as. He was somewhat of a class clown but the kicker was that he had high marks in that class. Anyway, I'm not one to waste a totally good friend so I decided to IM him as soon as he showed up. Nick! I hope you're doing well at USC. Give me a call and we'll do something!

Everything is going well in my world. The only thing I want to do now is get my digital camera and update this bad boy. I know I keep bitching about getting it done but c'mon, aren't you sick of this brown/khaki setup too? I am...bleh.

I actually woke up early and managed to look at some prospecctive digital cameras. I didn't feel like going to class. Since my brother was home I took him out for lunch since he's eyeing some car stereos. We went to Islands and some of my co-workers were trippin' that I had a twin. heh heh. I forget that there are people out there who are actually thinking of me as an individual. Anyway, while I browsed, the Invincible album caught my eye. I instinctly grabbed it and found out there were 5 different colors: red, orange, white, blue, & green. Being a blue freak, I took the blue one and skipped along to the cashiers. Si and I couldn't wait to open the CD. Man, when we popped it in...I was blown away. I highly suggest that you give Michael Jackson's Invincible a listen.

Anyway, there was an impromptu meeting for SDYM so I'm going to rest up and dry up. I don't like rain...well at least not at the moment.

I just setup a new guestbook. I didn't like the 500 letter limit on the other one so this one might be better for some people. Right Sheryl? hee hee =)

I have a new AIM screen name:

thebluedestiny15

I'll respond depending on who you are...

This whole day was a rollercoaster of emotions. I noticed that I didn't correctly state the condition of my wallet. It was reported stolen.

Ariel and Ting not only picked me up, but they took me out for sushi too. That was some good stuff. Anyway, I wasn't really into the whole dinner vibe until I had some Plum Wine. heh heh. No folks, I didn't get hammered. I wanted to forget any of it happened so I just tried to have some fun with Ting & Ariel. In the middle of the meal, I got a phone call. It turns out that it was the call that connected me to the person who had my wallet. The neutral location was Pac-man Arcade. For security reasons, Ariel drove us there and meet up with "Joseph."

The moment we got there we called him back since there was call was ID-ed. It turns out that it was a guy that was about my age. He just handed me the wallet and I tried to give him $20 to say thanks but wouldn't take it. "If I wanted it, I would have already taken it." he said. "It's the least I could do for all..." I insisted, "Nah, just take care." Ting and I just looked at each other. The first thing that came to mind was the two guys at the police station's front desk who snickered at me for thinking that I was going to get my wallet back. I'm just glad that someone was kind enough to prove them wrong.

My faith has been restored. I'm so thankful that Joseph was honest enough to return my wallet to me. I shouldn't have assumed that it was stolen. Sheesh...I do get a little anal sometimes. Something good ALWAYS happens when I'm with Ariel & Ting. =P

I'm off to bed...in fact, my new bed from IKEA. heh heh. I can sleep much easier knowing that there actually good, honest people out there (other than the ones that I know personally) & and a nice new virgin mattress for me to break in.

Ariel & Ting: Thanks for the boba =)

Adolfo: Thanks for the Cool Breeze.

thanks a lot you guys...hmmm...maybe I should get my wallet stolen more often...

I've been really bleh today so let me clear the air a bit...After going on that boba run yesterday, I found that my wallet was missing. I figured that it was either in my car or with one of the cars of the Saint Dom's people. So, I thought nothing of it until I couldn't find it this morning. Even though I was still missing my license, I still scurried off to work just to find out that I wasn't even scheculed today. Crap... Since I had nothing to do, I ended up making a mission of finding my wallet. The first thing that I did was return to the scene of the crime. I questioned differrent patrons and the parking booth attendants. They were totally useless in my search. I just wanted to return to my car and drive off in absolute bitterness. On the way to the parking lot elevator, I ran into a security officer. At this point I totally thoght that it was futile to ask her, but I figured that I had nothing to lose. So, I told her my situation and she knew EXACTLY what I was talking about. She was very sweet and VERY helpful to me. She gave me an exact description and explained EVERYTHING. She even had notices throughout Old Town. It turns out that someone had picked up my wallet and showed it to her. The suspect didn't even hand her the wallet. The mistake that was made was that this person frequents Old Town and showed the guard (apparently they knew each other somehow) my wallet. Officer Williams also was able to obtain the suspect's plate number and the make, model and color of the vehicle. It was supposedly going to be turned in to the proper authorites. I ended up having to go the Pasadena City Police Station and look for my walet there. Although the service there was amazing, that wasn't enough. Besides a police report and a heavy heart, I left the station totally empty handed. I have frozen all of my accounts and I will apply for a new license. Life just gets easier for Mark doesn't it?

In other news, I typed this entry at work and for some reason, I attracted my coworkers like files to a piece of fresh shit. Who knew that technology was so amazing to other people who don't have it. heh heh. Hey, I have every right to show off my Palm Pilot after spending over $350 for it. =P

Anyway, I'm not really angry today, but I am a bit frustrated. Believe it of not, I actually forgive ther person for dong this. I hope one day he realizes how fucked up his life is. I don't want to condemn the criminal. I'm better than that. I'm an example for other people. Besides, it makes me worse than the person who stole my wallet if all I do is slander this guy.

I feel better after shooting the shit. Oh, and Adolfo, thanks for the Cool Breeze. I really appreciated that. Hey the little things count too. Thanks.

On a lighter note...I've been meaning to get a new wallet anyway. I guess that was an omen to get a new one. I'm just glad that I didn't have my pictures inside, or I'd be REALLY upset.

Looks like I can't go anywhere for a while. I might as well keep a cool, optimistic head. I was in a rut not too long ago and I don't want to have to go through all of that madness again. So expect me to smile even though I'm broke and driving illegally.

i want my PASSION FRUIT BOBA but mark didn't hear me tell him my order, which i told him over and over again

I'm so lame...sorry Kris!

I got up 5:00am this morning after suffering insomnia. I tried to function on 15 minutes of sleep. Pulled my hair out since there all of my servers derserted me. I got burned by coffee by clumsy guests that bumped into me. We got bitched out by a bitter old lady (don't worry, she was always a bitter old hag...). Ruined my favorite baseball shirt. Then was singled out to wash the last dishes at the bitter end...AND FOR WHAT?!

Service, my friend...SERVICE. I never complained about having to do a task the entire day...at least tried not to. It was great to have understanding friends who allowed me to rest when I felt weary. I've always been willing to help out at Saint Dominic's. At the end, no matter the amount of the stress, it's always worth the while. Of course, we ended it all with a super boba run. It was just the best when we all chilled in Randy's truck. After all of that work, just kicking back was totally off the hook. *sigh* good times... =)

To anyone reading this that was part of "ICHOP 2" , We have just taken another big step into WYD 2002. I'm so glad that we did it and the whole this is OVER. I love you guys and may God bless you always. Thanks...

In other news, Mark is really tired and needs his sleep. Go ahead and call the cell, if one is so lucky then Mark might answer it.

It's been a mission to get a co-worker to meet the SDYMers. I know that he wants to join a youth ministry and possibly help out with confirmation. His phone was really fucked up for the past few days...eh well. I got him to see the group on sunday during an all day event. heh heh I guess it's been the only thing that has any worth of mention nowadays.

I never really appreciated myself until lately. Remember a couple of weeks ago, I felt that I was such in a rut? Lately, I've been so blessed with all of this fellowship and friendship. I really prayed for an escape and God gave me my friends and good times. So many people are all of a sudden trying to get a hold of me and I really want to see everyone. I just realized that there actually people who think and talk about me...for good reasons. I matter. I'm significant. I have direction. I have my God. What more can I ask for? I know that my money has been running pretty low...so what? Money comes and goes...I can't let the more important things pass me by.

Life has been worth living now. I can look at myself in the mirror and silently tell myself that God loves me and so does everyone else. This feeling of renewal feels so empowering and no one can rob me of myself. I want to thank everyone for making me feel so much better about myself and personal relationships.

We ended up seeing On the Line tonight. It was pretty good. It another one of those feel good movies. Anywho, the night started with some dinner at the Elephant Bar. That was a good sugguestion Gail! Man that place was kickin! I had a really good first impression of that place and I'm more than willing to come back. By the way Gail, I swear I'm paying next time!

The movie was a real feel-good kinda movie. Kevin (Lance) was a real tanker in life and never really got the respect he deserved. He never spoke up. I won't get into much detail so you won't all mad at me for giving anything away. But there was 2 lines that really stuck out:

Love doesn't make the world go 'round, but it makes the ride a lot better.

It's all about the music, when you're up on that stage...everything's perfect...until they start boo-ing.

Anyway, it was one movie I was glad to see with some good friends. To Bobbert and Geron...hahaha we heard you loud and clear. Sorry no boba this time...I'll get you GAIL! =P

Thanks so much for treating me out. But next time, please "accidentally" leave your wallets at home so I can pick up the check and make me feel better about myself. hee hee.

Now that everything has settled, I'm at Gail's house before we head on out for a night of boba. Anyway, I wish that I was able to go and visit the CSUNers to party, but I'm so involved with youth ministry. I feel so divided! Anyway, I'm going to head out for some fun. It was payday yunno! Bye! I hope that I will have something to blog about when I get home...

I'm thinking that I'm going to keep this whole thing plain for now. I want to keep it bland so when/if I update the layout, the new stuff will look better...heh heh. Anyway, I can't believe that I'm saying this but I'm really tired and I'm going to try to get some sleep. I hope this is a step to beating this insomnia thing. If I can't sleep, then I'm going to blog. Good night all...hopefully.

It's so cool to go out with the SDYM-ers. Yes...I went out with them again. =) I can never say no...well unless I have something to study for or if I'm broke. hee hee. Anyway, I always enjoy the fellowship we all experience. That's it I guess.

I made an entry during my Sociology class today. He wouldn't shut up so I did something that was somewhat productive. heh heh.

I hate having to be the bad guy, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm not too sure why I didn't seem to get a grip of my students tonight. I can't say that they weren't productive, but I can certainly say that some were much more productive than others. I didn't really lose it, but I really was hurt and frustrated that some of my students weren't contributing all of what they got. I was thrown another curve ball too. I got another new student...but it was someone I already knew, so it's not going to be that difficult making her feel welcomed. Wow! I have 8 students in my team. I know there's lots more to look forward to as the year progresses.

I ate out with SDYM-ers again. I really enjoy their company. We ate at Denny's again and I haven't laughed like that for a while now. Herbie & Randy had some interesting stories that kept us all in stitches.

Today, is going to be a long day for me, but it comforts me knowing that I am going to have another one of those long weekends. I can't wait for this weekend to come. It's packed with SDYM activities. Finally, a weekend where I don't have to pick my nose for entertainment. I'm so glad that I have people that want to go out too...heh heh

Gail, I totally owe you boba on friday! =)
Kris, thanks for the CD. I oughta get you boba too.

Crap, another sleepless night is ahead of me. I really need to find a way to kick this in the ass....bleh.

I got to hand it to Ting and Ariel. They have great timing! After school, I took a long nap to rest my body and soul. I woke up to my sell phone bleeping out the theme song to the "Itchy & Scratchy Show." I grumbled and searched for my phone and right when I had found it the caller from the private number hung up. As soon as I tried to lull myself back to sleep the house phone rings and lo and behold. It's Ariel with an offer I couldn't refuse. He picked me up and we went in search for Ting. She had the notion that we shuold try Acapulco to have some eats. Being the anti-social weiner I am, I told them that I've never been there. That place certainly pleased my uvula. hee hee. We had some "creative" and "shiny" conversations over dinner.

Tonight I busted missions just to be one step closer to getting my layout changed. I must thank Ariel (again) and Gail for busting a mission just for me to get Dreamweaver 3. I know it's not the latest one, but hey, I'm that much closer to getting some layout ideas. I really appreciate you guys going the extra mile just so I can have that. THANKS! I know that I was kinda a pain in the butt bugging you for it!

Man! I'm so glad that I have plans on Friday. Sorry, if you're not involved then you can't get a hold of me. I promised someone that we were going to see a movie and chill over boba. I'm so happy to finally feel like a big part of the SDYM team. I get to work with them and go out?! Gosh, I'm really lucky to have friends like the SDYM-ers.

I'm starting to miss a lot of my friends. I understand that they are doing more important things that don't associate with me whatsoever. Would it be too much to ask to just spend one day with all of you? I'm missing some old friends, the RC and CGM-ers a lot. I mean, I'm grateful that I am surrounded by the love of my friends but there are so many of them that have been absent from my life. You know the saying, "Out of sight, out of mind?" That's not true. They may be out of sight but they are all still in my heart. I always pray to God to watch over all of you.

I just finished mapping out my ideas for my new layout. I was telling Kris that my ideas are classified for the moment, but I can let in on a few details. I'm definately going to add images of the people I interact with and snapshots of candids & different events. I'm going to get more conceited and add bigger pics of myself. hee hee. It's just a work in progress. There's nothing that's really concrete just yet. Anyone have any ideas on what they want to see?

*sigh*
I have to get some sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me! My circadian rhythms are all outta wack. Blah...I don't want to resort to sleeping pills.

(Man...i just said a lot of stuff)

Ting, Ariel and I got this really sweet story from some sweet girl that was roaming the streets. It's about "Heaven's grocery store." Anyway, The story was nice but here's the kicker, the girl who handed it to just vanished. It's weird...she just dissapeared (whoa...that rhymed). I don't know what that was all about but maybe God is trying to tell us something. hmmmmmm...

I hope you get the job Ting...GOOD LUCK =)

It's nice to some people are always willing to chill with you. I'm at SWORKS again and there's nothing like the urban noise of cars rushing by. I'm conversing (not conversating) with Ting and Ariel again. I swear where would I be without SDYM? They're even my wonderful, wonderful host. ANNNNYWAY, I think that this weekdend was one that I seriously deserved. It was great to spend time with old friends and make new ones. I'm so relaxed now. I'm ready to face my academic and social life again. But this time I can't really spend money. Either way I can really build on my good fortune.

I took this "FRIENDS" test and this is who I am most like...supposedly.

Could you be any more like Chandler? The most lovable wiseguy around, you've got more than a little Bing inside you, don't 'cha? Front and center in your Chandler-ness is that unstoppable wit, keeping everyone in stitches (or at least deflecting uncomfortable situations). And like the Chan-Chan man, you'd never leave your pals out in the cold. But your generosity is so inconspicuous that people often don't even notice it.

Romantically, a soft, sweet, heart and charming, insecurity rule. You might, however, be held back from love by that nagging little fear of, well, growing up. Ya think? But, like the adorable Mr. Bing himself, it's just because you care so much and don't want to let anyone down.

Dave, thanks for the plug. My site is so impotent compared to yours. Nice work with Aileen's too! Go check him out. It might take a little time to load, but it's worth the extra 30 seconds! I really have to meet the other bloggers.

I know. I know... the site still looks the same. I'm in no rush to change the outlook, but I'm certainly getting there. I'm still gathering ideas and learning different HTML stuffs. I want my site to be so different from this one. I like the look, but I want it to look different since it's a new place...a better place. [thanks Ariel!]

Anywho, I'm hungry again and nobody's home. The fridge is full but there's nothing that I can really use to cook. I'm thinking about taking a little nap so I can get my mind off of the hunger and maybe there will be something to eat by the time I get up. hee hee. Gosh, I'm so hungry right now. I told myself that I shouldn't spend any money, but is this a case where I absolutely have to? I have money, but I have to start saving for the Christmas season. Crap...freaking dilemma. Oh well, I'll save the drama for my momma and I'll shut up here. In the meantime, update your links!

I just put this entry up for the sake of blogging. I have nothing to say. If a thought comes up, then I'll blog. If not, then good night.

I was taught that we weren't leaders, we were servants. WE were there to SERVE everyone else before ourselves. Today, lots of the leaders are there to serve themselves. They want to be able to touch someone's life, they want to make themselves feel good. Is that really living a Christian life? What we all need to do as leaders is ask ourselves is if we are leading Christian lives...and as we all concur, all we can really do is TRY, AND DO OUR BEST. We all fall, but what we need to constantly be doing is picking ourselves up, admitting we were wrong, and trying to change..that's all God can really ask for...that we try...That's all we ask of all the leaders...to try...as long as they try...they'll never fail - we'll never fail.

Thank you Gail. Very well said.

Okay...I'm done for now. I know it's really really late. I just wanted to set a few things straight on my new home.

a new home = a new layout

Thanks again Ariel. A new layout will be on the way. I promise. =)

A while back, no one really cared about him; some dorky high school guy. He had no direction and no one to guide him. He lacked inspiration, confidence and patience. Although he was fortunate to have a few true friends, it was never enough. He was a lost soul, wandering in a lifeless and lonely valley. There wasn't a place he belonged to. He acted so many parts; wore so many masks. But who was he? Nobody knew, let alone cared. No one wanted to offer anything to him because he had nothing in return. The weight of the world crushed his feeble body and spirit. Overwhelmed by reality, he wanted to escape, but did not know a destination. Little did he know there was a place he could call home; a place where he was wanted...needed. After living in fear and confusion, at last, there was a sanctuary from the harsh mindset he was locked on. What did he do? He opened his eyes and he saw the many faces of God. He opened his heart and felt the love welling up within him. There was so much dwelling in him, that he had to share it with others. Then, he opened his hands and generously gave as much as he could and swore to never let anyone feel the way he did before. People questioned him, but he would never allow anything in return. "Just take it," he said. "I was never so lucky enough to have this opportunity for myself." He wanted everyone to accept what he offered because it was the only way he knew how to heal himself.

Why do I care so much?

You tell me...

I scared all of my troubles away and just offered it all up. Knott's was really theraputic for me. I put up with so much last week and I felt that I deserved some fun in my life. I've gotten to know a few people who ventured the ghoulish gauntlet with us. It was kinda fun getting scared by masked freaks and strange, disturbing images. To those who care to know, I'm officially out of a rut! =)

Oh and Dave, I hope you get your TV. It was nice meeting you on the phone...heh heh.

crap...my screwed up my FTP and it didn't update right...oh well. I'll blog about Knott's later.

Today was weird. It wasn't the typical Friday shift for me. For some odd reason, people would come in herds of 8 people or more. The restaurant was packed with large parties. I'm not going to complain though. People dug deep into their pockets today. I guess my service was pretty good. I have buttloads of money to burn for tonight!

Anyway, I'm ready to scream like a little biotch today at Knott's Scary Farm and I'm going with SDYM tonight and I've been waiting to let loose all week. As you may have gathered, I've had some bullshit to put up with this past week, so I think I deserve it.

Things couldn't be better. I just realized that I might want to double major. More details later...but now I know that I want to do graphic design. I think I may have found my calling...until some ungodly power changes my mind in the future. In any case, I feel very collected now. No one can bring me down.

I can't wait to see Snoopy! =P

Went out again...thanks Ariel & Randy!
I'm too tired...I'll blog after work.

I'm home alone again. It's okay this time. My parents gave me a call while I was on the way and they even said that there was food! My parents are out "on a date" again. Isn't that freaking cute or what?! =)

I'm fried and I wanna crash. Everything's behind me and tomorrow is the culmination of this weeks crap and stress. I deserve it! =P

Whoa...I hope you're not using Netscape. It sucks! Well, off to class I go...

Okay, I'm on the campus right now, so I'm going to make this quick.

Hmmm...for once I'm at school early enough to actually blog. hee hee. Anyway, I never found out who parked the car in front of the house. I ended up leaving early so I could study for my SOC exam. I have a speech to deliver and an exam. I know...it sucks big time. In any case, I'm back on the level. I have nothing to worry about that concerns school. I'll blog when I get home, only if I'm not fried by the rest of the day. I ended up having 3 hours of sleep last night. blah. =\

Thanks a lot, dumbass.

Some idiot parks a vintage Mustang in front of our house. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with that, but this fucking moron is blocking half of the driveway. Trying to get out without hitting this car consumed a lot of time since I needed to take my sister to school. I had to roll off of the curb. Luckily, I didn't screw up my car in the process. What kind of ignorance does it take for someone to block someone else's driveway on purpose? Who the hell gave them their license?! If that car is still there when I come home, I swear I'm going to do something to that fucking Mustang. If I see the owner, I'm going to cuss him/her out. Hell, if you're that dumb...someone has to tell you.

I'm annoyed now. I'm taking a nap.
I'll update the currents when I get home

Well, I'm sure that I'm not going to blog for a while tonight. I have plenty of things to prepare for tomorrow. Since there are some who may be addicted to reading my stuff, I'll pacify the urge for a litte bit. =)

I've actually been pretty productive for the day. I got my oil changed, fixed a laser pointer for my presentation tomorrow, paid for the car, and bought some stuff for my visual aids tomorrow. Wow, look at me! I'm doing somemthing productive. Anyway, today was just an ordinary day, but I feel good and hell...I look good too. What? Me? Narcissistic? heh heh. Only when I deserve it.

If I'm a good boy, I'll be blogging if I finish early or work so hard that I need a break. Either way, I'm busy tonight. I'll be chill after tomorrow. I can't wait for Knott's on Friday.

I deserve it...I deserve it...I deserve it...

It sucks to have to come home to an empty house and not know where everyone went. They didn't leave me anything. No food. No note. Not even a phone call to tell me where the fuck they are. Maybe I oughta leave and see how they like it. heh heh. The dog keeps barking and won't shut up. I don't know what she keeps barking at. She even took a shit on the new floor downstairs. Now, my sister wants me to install a game that I deleted...and I deleted it for a REASON. I can't even find my slippers. You know why? My dad took them without telling me again. I swear I'm going to have to hide them. I'm tired. Screw it, I digress...ugh. I'll try not to let it get to me. The people in my house just suck right now.

I seriously need some alone time to just abosorb God. I really need that. I really deserve that.

Oh and Ting, thanks for the really sweet e-card. It made my day.

How rude of me, I should've brought you up sooner...

Sheryl Anne...a name worthy of mention. It blew my mind to even think that there's someone in another continent who reads my blogs. I can't help but feel special. hee hee. Thanks for the e~mails and the feedback. If you ever start a blog, I hope I'll be one of the first to know.

Aileen, did you use this computer in the Oviat? Ate Daph's blog is minimized and stuck on the toolbar. hee hee. What are the chances of that?!

Well, I have an advisement appoinment at 4:00 so I'm going to check my mail and scram.

Oh, and thanks guys...

It's weird how one instance can restore faith. About a week ago, I didnt' study for my speech exam. I was sure that I passed it, but I wasn't sure how well I did on it. I sat in class today expecting nothing more than a C. (I'm pretty sure you can tell where this whole thing is leading to.) Yes...I got an A! Suddenly, I felt myself regenerating. I can't believe that I got such a high mark. heh heh. I guess when you're at your lowest, the only way is UP.

I haven't fully recovered from my recent misfortunes, but I'm getting there. Today, I've felt so much better about myself. So good in fact that I didn't want to bore myself in SOC class. Hey, now remember, the first 2 two exams I took in that class resulted in 100% and a 96%. I don't really have anything to worry about. =)

The sun is brighter and Mark finally grinned to himself. I can honestly say that I'm feeling buttloads better than I did yesterday. I still have plenty to improve on, but at least I have the motivation to move on. For those who prayed for me, thanks...it helped a lot.

I still don't really want to go out. Like I said before, I have plenty of catching up to do.

Blog ya when I get home.

What have I done?! What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm suffocating. It wasn't until recently that I felt so behind in my studies. I was so motivated and now I'm trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Everything is piling up while I needlessly ponder. My self-esteem just broke. I feel like such a fucking moron. I need to get back on track, but how? The walls are closing in on me and I'm drowning. My circadian cycle is so fucked up now and it's not helping me improve my grades at all. I don't know why I can't get myself to live through another school day. It's only 2 days a week for God's sake. What's wrong with me? I want to sever myself from my people, especially my social life. I don't want people to call me. I don't want to go anywhere right now. I want to be left alone. I want to feel good about myself again. I want more time for myself, and only myself. I want to get everything done. It's no one's fault other than my own. What can you do to help? Nothing really. All I ask for is an encouraging word, a prayer, or just leaving me alone. I can't do anything but drown in my own self pity. I'll just kick myself in the ass and see what happens from there...ugh. I'm supposed to be a leader...but I feel so lost.

I'm going to neglect this blog for a little bit. I have some catching up to do. Who knows, I might just change my mind. Hang tight.

This is how robotic I am. haha. Thanks Aiyah.

Yet again, I have managed to get up early. I took my sister to school and took my grandma to her house a little earlier this morning. That only took me about 15 minutes to do and yet that short span of time managed to tick me off a little. Now I can't get back to sleep for a little nap before i have to get ready for work...FUCK. I don't feel like getting into any details other than that I detest DETOURS and I'm grateful my foot's not bleeding. For the second time I ask, why me?!?

(Betcha didn't know I can speak as well as write Tagalog. Shit, I even know the old way to write in Tagalog. I know how to use all of the characters. Anyway, if you don't understand the currents, tough rice...)

I never really thanked anyone for accepting me. When I was younger, I always struggled to find myself and who my friends were. I was always the guy in the middle or that familiar face to someone, never a friend. Thanks for accepting me and my "eccentric" ways. You all taught me that being myself is the best way to be. I grew to understand myself and better my realtionships with my friends...new and old. God sent angels on earth to remind me that I was special and that He has a plan for me. To this day, I watch His plan unfold before my eyes and I certainly like what I see. I honestly don't know what lies ahead, but friends like you ease the anxiety. I thank you and thank God that I'm so blessed with such friendships. I feel accepted and wanted by everyone. My confidence in myself is never comprimised. Thank you for looking beyond the exterior and giving me a chance to express my true self to all of you...no matter how different I am, you've embraced me. I thank you with my every fiber of my being.

I was looking through the pictures from the Saint Dominic's Fiesta and I just realized that I missed the good stuff. Stupid work...>=\

Damn...I did it again.

SHIT...I hate it when I'm composing a ringtone and someone calls me. I don't know how to answer it while im in composer. Sorry!

Okay, so my last post wasn't exactly detailed. Gimme a break! I was fried.

Anyway, last night after the fiesta, I kept thinking about little pre-pubic 7th and 8th graders thinking that they're so hard. Why are there little girls parading around in backless tops and super low-hip jeans? Why are there little wannabe thugs thinking that they're so hard RIDING in a car that belongs to an older "homie." These voices aren't even deep enough to swear. Yet they swear more than I do. I hate the fact that they have to "start shit" with other people because they're so damn hard. They care about what other people think because they probably can't think for themselves. Okay, maybe I've been in that stage for a little bit. I learned how dumb I was trying to impress people. I found out that they don't really notice or even care. Being flashy only gets you a "Wow!" Anybody remember that from gospelite? heh heh. I do.

Enough of an annoyed Mark, no one likes a meanie-face. Moving on...

Ariel and I sat and talked about an idea that we hope materializes. He stumbled upon the notion that we should have an Saint Dom's Youth formal. How often can us leaders dress up and be bling-bling for a night? Keep in mind it's just an idea for now. Since we're on the subject of SDYM, my bloggerific life might be hosted at sdym.org! What better place to be hosted by other than your own church? (needless to say that www.ravedigital.com or www.freeq.org are bad places...) I'll keep you posted when the move comes about.

Oh, I helped my fellow leader and good buddy, Gail put up her blog. Be sure to visit her.

My mind has been emptied out. It doesn't take much does it? heh heh. Hopefully a thought might pop up later. Until then, sign the guestbook! (i'm thinking about changing it though...500 characters isn't enough...bleh)

I have only 3 things to say:

1. I worked the bar today at work.
2. Joy Ride wasn't as good as I thought. Not too bad, but not too good either.
3. Denny's was dope, Ariel. I'm up for some sushi.

That is all...goodnight.

Theresa, I think your zine is chock-full of awesome. I feel compelled to share that article with my Asian Am class, if you don't mind.

If you didn't get Theresa's zine, Girls Are Weird #3, you are missing out. I haven't read the whole thing but there was one piece that I really liked. "CULTURE SHOCKKKER" explains the standards and politics of being an asian. It spoke to me because I still live with the struggle of having the total respect of being Asian.

I'd appreciate if everyone stopped expecting me to be so god damn Filipino. With culture, you never win. You're either too whitewashed, too FOB wannabe, or too apathetic.

Imagine what people of color deal with. One would either not relate to their own heritage, or not in tune with American culture. What the fuck is that? Okay, you're proud to be asian...I've seen "hardcore" little teeny-boppers claiming their pride. Good for those ignorant, forsaken people. They don't even know what they're proud of. They're making the rest of us look stupid in the process. Remember that God awful rap that some random moron made? Forgive me if this isn't accurate. (note the sarcasm)

Got rice, bitch...got rice? Got girls, got cars, got spice? Got cars like us, got girls like us?

"Asian pride bitch!" SHHHHHHUT UP! Sure. They're so proud that they can't even understand the native language. They're so proud that they can't stomach the cuisine. They're so proud that need to alter their image so they don't look Asian. They're so proud that they slander and beat down different denominations of Asians. Some pride huh? We, as a collective culture, should share the common ground we hold. Why not display our backgrounds and educate other people about our culture and history? That's what true pride is. Embrace the culture you have while educating and embracing the culture of others. Got rice? Sure I do, but at least I'm willing to share it.

I'm at a friend's house right now and I am in AWE of this DSL! My internet connection is flaccid compared to this Godsend! That is all. I should get home soon...but we're so engaged in conversation.

i received an email and found it quite random. Not threatening, but random. It's not like that I'm going to blab this, but something really stuck out to me.

You're a Youth Leader in a Youth Ministry??? Because I'm a Youth Leader in A struggling Youth Ministry. It's just so disheartening sometimes, but i refuse to be apathetic and just give up on these kids...if you have anything enlightening you want to share about that. PLEASE!!!!! FEEL FREE!!!

One big idea is FELLOWSHIP. If there is a bond among the members, it will spark activity. If there is activity, it will arouse curiousity. Curiousity will get others to join. Find out what makes the ministry unappealing and fix it accordingly. Obviously, one doesn't give in to ALL of the demands or it won't be a youth ministry at all. You should reach out and try to get members. Keep in mind that it is better to have few loyal actives, than having numerous members who are in the ministry in vein. BUT (and this is a BIG but), remember that you can lure em in, and HOOK...LINE...& SINKER. In other words, some of those "bad apples" may realize that being in the ministry may be fullfiling. It's kind of difficult to try and understand and exaplin all of the insights that go into my ministry. This is all that I can say: May God give you his grace.

I just realized that the Saint Dominic's Parish Fiesta starts today. That means I have to work the Youth Ministry booth for a little bit. Anyone who's in the area...COME AND VISIT! I've been looking forward to this event for a while now. Finally some good, clean fun.

Sam just discovered a web cam...

Theresa, I finally got the time to fully absorb your zine. Feedback is just around the bend.

Ate Daph, as soon as I'm back from the fiesta, I'll set up some links and a guestbook for you. Sorry for the lagging. My tests are done for now. LOVE YAH! =)

Dave, I'll be making a donation sometime this week or next week. heh heh.

Aileen & Chriselle, I'm missing my two bestest friends!

Okay, that's enough advertising for now. I'm stank...time to jump in the shower.

Wow, notice the time! I'm up early...well, I was up like 2 hours ago. Anyway, boba is popping up EVERYWHERE. I just found out that there's Lollicup right behind the campus. There's also a Tapioca express poppin up across the street from the campus. Boba's everywhere all of a sudden. Oh well, more hang outs for Mark in between classes. =)

Okay...no more. I really need to study. Until tomorrow my faithful readers...take care.

Dave, I've joined paypal to assist you in buying WEGA. A friend of Aileen's is certainly a friend of mine. A donation will be coming soon.

Oh, and SPAM...you're a HAWAIIAN BEEFCAKE. Gotta dig the hair. >=)

Do you like my lil blue buddy below? He's cute huh? SPIN LITTLE ONE, SPIN!

Oh, I received Theresa's zine today. I haven't had the chance to absorb it, but from the looks of it, I'm going to enjoy reading it. You're a hell of a lot more creative and articulate than I am. I'll blog some feedback soon. Our paths have yet to cross...

Other people's parents are so sweet. Leo, one of the confirmation students, needed a ride home, and he so happens to live about 15 minutes away. I'd never turn away a request when I can do it. From previous experiences, I know that his parents would fill me up with goodies even if I was full. I told myself that I'd stay at the door and say hi and drive off into the moonlight. Nope. Nice try, Mark. Not that I didn't want to reject any offers or anything like that. I just had to study that's all. Naturally, I wouldn't leave without greeting them first. I came into the house, greeted them and began talking with his parents. I knew that I was going to be there for a while. (DON'T GET ME WRONG! I MEAN ALL OF THIS IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE...) I enjoyed conversing with his folks. I felt so spoiled by them. Wow, they shower me with sweets when I take him home. Isn't that so nice? =) Their hospitality blew my mind. They asked me to take a seat and immediately offered a plethra of sugary yummies. So I sat and engaged in meaningful conversation with his parents. I'm not really sure why they insist on treating me so well. It's so humbling to see other people willing to serve me. Anyway, Leo...thanks for the good food and don't EVER hesitate to ask for a ride home whenever you're stranded. You know that if I can, I will. If you're reading this, tell your parents I said thank you for the tarts, cake, and strawberry mochi. I seriously appreciate the Ilao hospitality.

Oh my new room is almost done! All we need to do now is clean & furnish it! Hey R.C. Selle's debut video party?

A question was posed to me today. "Do you feel patriotic?"

I can't say that I am totally calloused to the whole patriotism thing. I am very proud and fortunate to live here. Then again, I'm not going to display flags everywhere and wear red, white & blue everyday. That's not to say I have no pride in my country. The US is providing me with a good home, a great education, countless opportunities, and great friends. I'm not the type to go all willy-nilly with the US pride idea. Sure, I'm proud. I just don't feel the need to go so far to show that I am.

Being a Filipino, this patriotism has a different point of view. Being an asian in general, I feel as if I am welcomed in this country, but it feels like, "I'll let you in, but not all the way in." The culture is just considered as another minority that has been tossed aside. The stereotypes haven't left. I'm not Chinese. I've never eaten a dog. We all DON'T look a like. I don't know karate. I don't race my car. I use a fork and knife. I eat things like burgers and spaghetti too; not just pancit and lumpia. Think about it. Food can be a stereotype also. Why are some people so excited about the food we make? Why are we labeled with it? We have the ability to cook and eat other dishes. I understand that may be "exotic" and delicious, but it's not like I'd go to a white person's house and exclaim, "OH WOW! BURGERS!"

I may be brown, yellow, asian, pacific islander, filipino or whatever, but I'm just as American as the next person. I am proud of that. I'm in this country and I share all of the freedoms and ideals. So don't tell me that "I should go back to my country." I'm already in my country.

Gosh. I miss a few days and a lot has passed me by. First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY THERESA! I hope you continue to be blessed. Second, Ate Daph I will renovate your site ASAP. I'm sorry for the lagging. I haven't been online for a while. I'm not too sure why this computer stopped seducing me to blog. It's great to be back.

What a trip! I checked my guestbook today and was surprised to see someone's name. It turns out my AAS friend from last year, Nicole blogs too! The web just gets smaller and smaller doesn't it? Be sure you check her out...

I was too tired to blog last night. I actually crashed BEFORE the time turned double digits. Anyway, I feel really relieved to find out that my unlce is okay. My parents said that he had a kidney transplant and that he's still recovering. We visited him at the UCLA Medical Plaza and he was doing fine. There's no doubt in my mind that everything will be back to normal. Keep him in your prayers.

Once again, I've experienced another "remember when?" type moment...

THETA DELTA BETA ROCKS THE HOUSE!

I've been to frat parties before, but this one took the cake and smashed it. I was afraid that the Theta party might suck like some others that I've been before. I was wrong...SO WRONG.

I already felt VIP-ish since I knew Jonathan and Selle because the Thetas let me in free. We were a little early, but Jon and Selle assured me that things would pick up. They had some Jungle Juice as the feature drink before the kegs arrived. Hey, I drove so I had to be good. I drank fairly light. I wasn't even buzzed for that long. Anyway, Chriselle had to introduce me to all of her friends and even all of the hoochies and the hard looking guys were unbelievably nice. Yes...they were sober. Well, at the time anyway. People were saying "HEY! WHAT'S UP?! HAVING A GOOD TIME? DIDJA GET A DRINK ALREADY?!" I sat down at a random seat and people would politely engage me in meaningful conversation. The vibe was clearly congenial and positive. Jon & Selle introduced me to some of the bros, lil sis's and the pledges. I kept complimenting him how great the party was. I was having a great time. I made a lot of friends tonight.

The atmosphere was comprimised when some dumbass tried to start shit with someone. Naturally, this guy was drunk and being really stupid. I won't get into the details of the scuffle, but I will tell you there was a lot of broken property and cussing. The music faded and people were just talking about what had happened. After about an hour of chillin outside, one of the party people came from the front and calmly said..."COPS!" Three officers stormed into the backyard waving their flashlights and instructed us to leave. Just as the crowd went to the front, there was a fleet of black and whites parked in the front of the house. The cops then demanded us men get on their knees with our hands behind our heads. I freaked out but the guys next to me assured me that if I have nothing to hide, then I have nothing to worry about. The ladies were then checked one by one. One of the officers then told us that there was multiple reports that there were guns at the party and that's why they were being such hardasses. We were all told to get inside the hosue and stay inside while they checked the "suspicious looking" ones. We couldn't really be so loud so we talked among ourselves. I felt really weird about being detained inside the house. I was afraid to find out what was going to happen next. "Maybe they're going to gas us..." (hahaha inside joke) The crowd stayed inside the house trying to make sense out of everything and everyone was comforting each other. I sat down on the floor with some people and conversed with them. We all bonded and told each other that we were going to see each other again.

The cops finally left and we were free to leave the house. Some of us ate out after...but that's a whole other story.

The property was PACKED with people. I've never felt so sociable at frat party before. I felt so welcomed. Everyone was tremendously friendly and it was a pleasure to meet them all. I hope I see them again soon. Jonathan said that the parties are like the way they live...like family. He was right on the money. Great music...great vibe...great people...I swear theta delta beta can sure throw a party. I have friends in UCLA now! GO BRUINS!