Rocks & Hard Places

First off, Happy THANKSGIVING...

Okay, now with the pleasantries out of the way, I'll blog.

I've never felt so bad about having to leave Confirmation. Last night Arnell and I had to go to a Thanksgiving dinner. It's been a tradition of ours. It's always the day before Thanksgiving, which is a Wednesday. As you know I have to be at Confirmation on Wednesdays. However, there isn't usually a class the day before Thanksgiving...but this year we did. I felt really bad after I told Gail I had to leave. It put a damper on my mood and I really didn't want to go to the dinner. It bugged me the whole way.

I've never seen her look at me like that. "Just go..." That's gonna bother me for a while. Honestly, I'm just kind of embarassed to show up on Sunday for choir rehearsal.

We'll see...

Singing Is Like Praying Twice

Coming back to choir was something I certainly should have done sooner. Getting new binders, remembering the music, and sitting in the loft brought me back. Hearing Patricia sing empowered me and I was so excited just to sing with everyone. During rehearsal, she had told me to take the first solo for "Taste and See" and I was kind of thrown by it. It was my first day back but I gave it a shot and it felt good to try.

I felt like flying when I busted it out during mass. That song inside me was waiting to come out and I was so nervous, but it felt REALLY good to sing my heart out. I felt God working through me as we went down the song list. It was refreshing to sit in the loft and be a part of the Mass.

I really hope work lets me go on sundays. I needed to fill that void that has been inside for so long.

Please Retreat Me

This past week has gone by so fast.

Let me catch you up.

Last weekend I had gone to SDYM's 06 Leadership Retreat. I must say that I had an amazing experience. I was having some trouble with a few things in life. My spirituality has been at an all time minimum. How could I be a Parish leader who doesn't attend mass? Anyway, I realized that I have good friends and vibes at SDYM and that I should exude those feelings with the world. I need to be a better example.

After the retreat, I made a small return to Youth Choir. I missed being there and I decided that I need to take a step back INTO the church. It felt good to sing again.

So, I have asked my boss to reduce my hours on Sundays and to schedule me at the last sunday of the month instead. The compromise was that I can just OPEN on sundays. She said that she cannot make promises but can consider my situation when she creates the schedule.

Now that my soul is back on the right track, let's make sure that m brain and design stays on track too. bah.

This week has gone by sooooo fast. I'm not sure why, but I'm not about to complain.

I haven't been able to express any feelings about anything lately. My life has been a myriad of just...well...stuff. I feel like these days are just passing me by. I just feel so busy and at times overwhelmed with school. I guess that's the life of a working student.

This weekend is SDYM's annual leader's retreat. I'm excited and HOPEFUL that this thing is going to go well. It came at a good time since I'm just really over daily life. I need to get away. I need MARK-TIME. I feel like I've grown stale to some people, you know?

I can't expect everyone to understand me. I can't expect anyone to give me a helping hand. I just have to get through it. I need to get my shit done.

I hope I get a lot out of this retreat.

Home isn't feeling too much like home lately. It's about time I took time out for me for a change.

No money...
No time...
No sanity.

(Oh, and what's with my comments lately? It's not even about my posts.)

HAP BOORDAY GENI AND EMMETT!

Today is my sister's 15th! =) (LOVE YOU SIS!)

Last night was fun. Went to the Shark Club with the gays and straights.

Just Happy

An old friend called me this morning and we talked for a while. She said that her life finally fell into place and I was the first person she thought of to share it. This girl is the kind of girl who's gone through it all. When we first became friends, we looked as though we came from two different worlds. It may have been true, but God placed us together. Numerous years later, and after a long absence, we were connected again. It made me happy to hear how content she was with life.

It was a trip to talk to her and hear how happy she is with herself and her family. I guess it was about time she was happy with her surroundings.

To think...over 10 years ago we met and after all of our growing up, we found each other again. hmmm...

Yeah, I'm happy. She helped me realize that my life is REALLY good.