I survived my first week of school. BLAH. Oh well, Jay is gonna keep me in check and make sure that I get my shit done. I'm gonna do the same for him...but then again, there are other sources of inspiration...if you know what I mean.

Yet another great LC. Need I say more? ha! I think I said too much.

The fog this morning, reminded me of you. I miss you ate. We have lots to talk about...but I want it to be face to face. It's better (and MUCH more fun) that way. LOVE YOU!

I am so PROUD of someone. heh. Ever notice that communication is vital to any relationship? Someone was totally steamed about his friend but after a little bit of cooling off, he decided to communicate and totally rationalize everything...in a mature, Christian way. I'm grateful that he took what I (and Gail) said into consideration. Rather than revenge...he was the bigger man and looked the other way and fixed a friendship with love rather than destroy it with a jaded rage. It's hard to step up to someone...whether you're forgiving someone or asking to be forgiven. I was very impressed with his courageous actions. That's what it takes to be a leader...I see a lot of potential in this one. I hope he knows that God really helped him out that time...its too bad he didn't hear my talk last week. heh. I'll connect the dots later.

In the meantime school is school. I think I'm gonna like my TH 111 class. I've never taken anything in theater. heh. I hope I do well. It looks like fun...the other classes are...well. BLAH.

(okay...well...45 more minutes to kill before my math class...boooooooooo)

I broke the CSUN-Mark code today. I met five people in the last 30 minutes. There are 5 of us and we are totally conspiring to get the books copied. The 5 of us are ready to tackle this Lab class and get an A. HA! I can't believe I was being social for once. I think this semester is going to be an interesting one.

Well, tomorrow is another school day. Hopefully I can survive this one.

I had a great time tonight. I finally spent some time with my cousin, JR and got to meet a few of his friends. I'm so glad that I got to see him and hang with him for once. It's been way too long. I mean, we didn't get too much one-on-one talking but I can tell that he's much happier now. I'm much happier seeing him. heh. That kid never seems to give himself enough credit. I should really spend more time with him. His friends are pretty cool too. heh.

I should really get some sleep. I had a REALLY great time tonight...good times. good eats. great company.

Where is everyone?

Is the WHOLE FRIGGIN WORLD setting me up here?

Sheesh.

I'm going to bed.

I have a long day ahead...or so I hope.

The world called me...what was I thinking? Things aren't so bad.

There has to be a record for wasted Saturday nights. Fucking flakers. I could have seen WAY more important people tonight...but I set aside time for them and look what happens. I'm not mad at all of them...but man do they SUCK.

It's funny how whenever something big comes along...good or bad, Gail and I are in the middle of it. I'm glad that I can share so many things with her...both good and bad. She really can keep it real with me and always looks out for my best interest. I can get so stupid sometimes and it's cool that she lets me. ha. No matter what, I'm so blessed to have a friend like her. Sometimes I don't know what makes me so deserving to have someone who loves me that much. I'm so glad that there's a strong mutual trust. She's there to share in my joy and to lift me from my sorrows.

It's always nice to know that when things get hard or if happiness comes our way...I have a support structure...a best friend.

I don't know why I decided to say all of this. I guess it's just an appropriate time to support her...she's supporting me right now. I owe my life to her.

"When I first saw you, I already knew there was something inside of you...Something I thought that I would never find...angel of mine."


Sometimes you just have to remind the people you love...that you love them.

=)

This is the last weekend before I go back to school.

I don't really know what it is, but I'm totally ready to go back to school. I have had a very long vacation already.

I have some fun things planned for myself for this weekend. I plan to hit a club this Saturday and I really want to see my cousin JR. I ought to call him first though...haha. I haven't seen in for a while. I owe him a visit...BIG TIME. J, if you're reading this...CALL KUYA UP.

Heh, I don't really have much else to say...Maybe I'll have something interesting to talk about later tonight. (I'm so weird...heh heh)

My winter vacation is about to end and I think it's ending on a pretty high note.

School is around the corner. heh.

I just had an interesting and enlightening converstion with Jay. Sometimes I think that kid doesn't give himself enough credit. I was gently reminded that being human isn't so bad afer all...

I was reminded that it's not always easy being in high school nowadays, but its nice to know there are some who have the will to survive out there.

good night...

I'm not too sure if it was just me...It probably was.

The level of conversation between me and a good friend seems like it's dwindling. I am very aware that his playful bantor is meant to be completely harmless. He wouldn't intentionally hurt me. I guess I don't feel that we were on the same wavelength...not just today...but recently. I don't know why it bugged me that he needed to (jokingly) restrain himself from saying something even remotely insulting to me. What really bugged me was that I couldn't really talk to him because he was trying to watch his mouth...We never talked to each other the way we did tonight. Well, we do...but was it that excessive that we had to watch ourselves? I don't know... The joking is fine but lately it's been getting pretty stale with me. Is it the whole Bobby/Eo Complex of mine? Am I just being anal about what he says to me? Am I just being stupid?

I am more than positive that someone will be asking me about all this. There's nothing to say. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? He was being himself, and I was being...well...anal? Most likely. I just needed to get this out of my head. If you're reading this...I'm sorry I didn't mention anything to you sooner. I still don't think there's a problem...It's just that maybe the timing was totally off. Like I said, its funny for the first few times but the novelty wears off eventually. Yeah, true friends talk shit to each others faces...but I'm not always in a mood to be messed with.

Messing around is a two-way street. I can't say I didn't provoke anything. If I pushed too far...I regret it.

I'm not too sure if it was just me...It probably was.

For once I go to bed early...Believe it or not I went to sleep a little after 9:00pm last night...

I just woke up in a cold sweat. My wifebeater is still a little damp. I don't remember the last time I had a bad dream. I woke up breathing so hard facing my bedroom wall, shivering because the back of my wifebeater was damp with sweat...I felt my face, reassuring myself that I was alive.

I was walking around some campus shopping at the student store. I was looking through the birthday cards and ribbons. I don't know whose birthday it was...but I was looking. I grew hungry and ventured off to eat the lunch that I packed since I was so low on cash. After I finished my lunch, I walked around campus and got lost a little bit. I eventually found my way to a hallway with a couple of elevators. From the looks of the building, it didn't seem to be very modern. I punched the elevator call button and waited patiently for it to arrive. I entered and noticed that there were 3 other Asian guys in the elevator. We started going up and they were talking to me. They were pretty annoying. I watched the number display go up.....21......22......23......24. The elevator car then started to rock slowly. "Oh it's okay, we'll be fine." one guy said. Then the numbers started ascending very rapidly, 97, 98, 99,100...I grabbed the bar at the back of the elevator. The numbers stopped. I held my breath as I heard the cables creaking. I clenched the bar harder and slid to the left corner of the elevator. I felt a bead of sweat running down my forehead. I heard the cables snap and I was curled in the corner as the car started to plummett down the shaft. I screamed and begged God to let me live. I peeked my eyes open to see the numbers decending faster and faster...as if it was a countdown to my impending death. After trying to deal with God, I finally accepted my fate and that's when the elevator hit the bottom of the shaft. A sharp, instant pain shot up my body...the next thing I know, I'm in the back seat of a car. "Oh shit...I think we're dead." one guy said. I sat wide-eyed thinking about what the world is like now that I'm gone. The first people I thought of was my brother and sister. "Oh my God, what will they think when they find out I'm gone?" Then, I thought of SDYM and my group..."I can't leave them."

A thousand thoughts a second...

That's when I woke up gasping for air...

I needed to blog it...I needed to organize my thoughts. I don't feel so scared now. I couldn't go back to sleep. I don't think I want to...

Today was an interesting choir day. I was able to get new people to join, but I'm hoping they stay. Not only did we add new blood today, a bunch of old schoolers came by to fill the choir loft. I was trippin out. It was pretty cool. I want to be able to take care of the new people...after all, in a way they're the future of the choir. I can't be a youth-ish kinda guy forever you know.

The family went out for some din din tonight. It was nice to just sit and spend some time with the family for a change.

I still want to go out and do something fun. I called a few people but they're a bit pre-occupied...meh.

This little kid wouldn't shut up. I was getting a haircut and the kid next to me (who was probably about 7) kept squirming and complaining. I just wanted to smack that kid. A professional using professional grade clippers shouldn't hurt every other 20 seconds. It was obvious that the sylist was getting pretty annoyed...whatever...I'm so fresh and so clean now. It's about time I got a trim. heh.

Anyway, last night I had another great time with Gail and Randy. It's about time I spent some time with Randy outside of SDYM. We talked about a whole myriad of things. We shared, complained, commented, and just relaxed. It's been a long time coming for us to shoot the shit a little bit. Oh, it was really flattering to hear that my retreat talk was really good. I didn't think much of it until he gave me his feedback on it. He said that the head of our confirmation program was impressed with my presentation. He's not a big fan of having the younger leaders give a talk but he said that I gave a good talk. Wow....whoddathunkit?

I didn't really do anything besides dinner with them last night. Kris suggested that I call Ned and/or Glenn to hang out, since I kinda left them on the backburner. I was pretty content with the Gail/Randy/Mark time so I spent the rest of the night talking to some people online. I don't really talk online anymore but these students from confirmation really make it fun. I forgot how IM-ing mulitiple people can kill time really quick.

Well, I'm really glad that I have choir today. I was able to get a few new recruits and I hope that they stay. It'd be nice to have some people fill those choir seats.

Thank you Caroline...you made me sleep easier for the next 2 years.

SIMPSONS FOREVER....

DAMMIT! IT SUCKS BEING BROKE! I AM TOTALLY MISSING OUT! NO MORE SPENDING FOR MARK!

WOW...I'm not scheduled to work tomorrow night. What to do? What to do?

I finished getting my classes for next semester:

Mondays:
Bio Lab: 2:00 - 5:00

Tuesdays/Thursdays:
Art History: 11:00 - 12:20
(need to add) Bio: 12:30 - 1:45
Theater/Drama: 2:00 - 3:15
Math: 4:00 - 5:15

I feel that this semester I should put a little more effort into my studies. I am a role model...I should act accordingly. Besides, my GPA is slowly improving. Why cancel out all my hard work?

Jay is a cool guy.

I never really thought that I'd meet a lot of the students...since I'm an oldie there. ha. I mean I met quite a few, but it's a trip that I talk to this guy a lot. I hope that I can be a positive influence in his life...I'm not just a leader to my group...but to everyone else in Confirmation.

I love my friends. Pete's is always fun!

I never really got the chance to talk about the retreat as most of the things that we talked about are supposed to stay up there. I made many friends and strengthened old friendships. I learned that it's much harder to be young than I thought. I learned that I am not alone. I learned that my group has now begun to trust me. Oh...the snow/ice/sleet was fun to play in. I don't remember the last time I went innertubing down an icy hill.

I just want to say that I'm so proud of my group. I'd do anything for those kids. They've grown so much in only a few months and I commend them for sharing their lives with each other. I know that this is my third group, but every group I have makes me so proud. I have a 2 group legacy so far...Muffy, Louis, Cynthia, Jimmy, Tracy, & Elisa. I showed them the door and they didn't hesitate to walk right in. SDYM is my life.

To my students: I will pray for what you so you all find the comfort that you seek. Remember that we are a family and a family trusts each other...TRUST = FAITH. I love you guys.

To my co-leaders: You are growing as leaders everyday. I'm really lucky to have dedicated leaders and show a genuine interest in the young Christian lives that we lead.

Thank God for a successful retreat!

The layout was inspired by Kris and his backpack....heh heh.

I'm going to change the layout since something went wrong with the other one...

besides i needed to change the layout anyway.

My retreat high almost died this morning...

My lola woke me up a little before 6 this morning. I thought that it was already 7:40 and I had to take my sister to school. I wish that was the case. "Mark, get up...you need to take your dad to the hospital. Something's wrong." My heart stopped. I rushed to find my keys, wallet and jacket and ran upstairs. I didn't know what to think. It was the morning after his birthday and he was suffering. Just seeing him in pain on the way to the ER really upset me. He went into the ER screening room and I sat alone in the waiting area for the longest hour of my life. All I did was pray that it was nothing severe. I tried not to cry. I kept thinking about the retreat...Trust is faith...I trusted God. He said "Thank you for taking me to the ER, Mark..."

There was a deeper realization too. I realized that I really do love my dad. I know that we don't always see eye to eye but I think that when it comes down to it, our differences don't matter. In a way, I think that this was God's way of reminding me that my parents mean the world to me. It took a minor dilemma to realize that.

I don't want to leave the house since there's no one that can drive him to the ER in case something else happens. I'm sorry to all of the people I had to flake on this afternoon...

I'm high on life and I'm feeling good.

I'm off to the retreat. Here's hoping that I come back renewed in my faith...

I'll have my phone...there MIGHT be signal. ha.

Wow...how sad. I bombed Kris' friend test. He's one of my best friends and I failed it. I did well on the first one he made and totally messed this one up. hee hee I wonder what that means...

CRAP! I went to sleep all early and JUST woke up. Now I won't be able to sleep...so I thought I'd just blog.

I had a pretty eventful day. I went out with Gail, Marvie & Kris today. It's always fun to be bored with other people than to be bored by yourself.

Gail always says that I'm always bored. I'm not going to contest that. hahaha. I just want to be around people that REALLY want my company (I think the three of them know what I mean.). I really love just vegging out with them and they make me feel all special...Although they tease me about stuff...hahaha. Hey, it's all the truth...so their banter is totally justifiable.

I should really expand on my outlines for my retreat talk. ha.

Fight Club is an awesome movie.

43. names of kids: something uncommon...i think there are enough christines, katherines, marks, chrises, jennifers out there in the world.

thanks for that Marlene...

just kidding.

I'm home now...

Had fun at Kris'...need I say more? Uno karma gods are fierce.

blah. tired.

Is it obvious that there's nothing to do here so I'm just killing time by blogging things that make no sense what-so-ever?

heh. Gag me...

I just wanted to see what the new date would look like. hahaha

Oh just to clear the air...if you watch this public service announcement, you'll understand the madness on my tagboard.