I have found a paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

-Mother Teresa

good night.

I choose this one, Kristine...It's more meaningful. It's from the heart. Great art is driven from real life experiences. I think this poem was truly inspired with a great message and a heart that speaks the truth. The one thing that makes art... art, is if it can be interpretted with freedom. It was made with freedom so it must be treated as such. Other thing about art is that it has to power to draw an emotion. I think this one does both very well. I think that you speak for other people here. Your poem said a lot more than I could...There is just so much I want to say...so much I want to fix.

Tell Me
Please tell me the truth…tell me who you really are
You retain a million personalities inside of you and reach so far for the bright star
We act like we’re really close, but there are many oceans that stand in between us
Are you the demon who brought hell upon those who trespassed against you and filled them with distress?
Are you the same person I fell in love with?
Or are you the angel who reached out to the hurt forthwith?
Some people try to make you happy, but why can’t you do the same for them?
Is it because you are too blind to see that they sacrifice everything for you not to condemn?
There is no such thing as “stealing” people away
A person can steal an object, but never a person in any way
You heard it from her own mouth that she is your friend and she will never ever leave you
Face reality and accept the fact that you can’t control everyone’s lives because they have their own lives to pursue
You’re mood is like the changes of the season
God made us different for one good reason
He made us to be unique in our own way
“God help him find himself…” I’d pray
In my eyes you’ll always be constantly changing to find the real you
I love you the way you are and it will always remain true
But I hate the way you want to be someone you’re not
Through the hard times, don’t ever think that I’ll leave your side because I’m not
I’ll be mad and disappointed by the wrong actions you choose to do
But that will never stop me from loving you
If tensions begin to grow between us and we become enemies, I will pray for you
Because I don’t only pray for my friends to be better, I also pray for those who are against me too
The sweet-sour feeling being with you gives me a new purpose of living
When you hurt me, I always end up forgiving
Don’t be afraid to admit that you’re wrong because people make mistakes
But in order to learn from our mistakes, we must improve ourselves whatever it takes
I’m stuck here confused and trying to figure out who you really are
Our purpose of living is finding out who we really are…

BREAD! WHOOOOooooooooo.....!!!

This post isn't for you...seriously.

It's killing me that I haven't been able to see my nephew. There was a slight snafu last night...and we ended up getting lost and being stuck in traffic. AHHH! Why me?!

I can't remember the last time I was this relaxed. Lately, there have been a lot of things that have been bogging me down...especially school. I didn't really do much this weekend, but I did spend a lot of time with my cousins...I haven't really been able to really just be bored with them...to take them out...to just be stupid. heh. I'm so glad that I made the decision to just leave. I'm ready to come back to my life and it's problems. I'm recharged to take on my challenges and just get back to what I was doing in the first place.

There have been some people that can't talk to me for some reason. I don't know what's going on. I'm not mad at anyone...If you think I am then you have to let me know.

I had this conversation with Kristine earlier and I was thinking that for some reason, I stick to what I believe. I can't give in to anyone...She reminded me that I can still be a worthy person without having to validate myself. I was reminded that I am still a role model whether I like it or not. I was reminded that even when people stray...I should still have the heart to still walk behind them. I was reminded that I have a lot of patience...more than I know.

The second year retreat is coming up. I personally could use a retreat, but it's not geared for me. heh. It's for the 2nd year. I can't wait to go though. I think I really need to just talk to God one-on-one...I need to be filled with the spirit. I need to be in a prayerful and loving environment. I need some answers. I need some strength. I need to call off work...

crap.

I swear...it feels so good to see my cousins again.

random thought of the moment: "I wonder what would happen if I dissapeared for a week without anyone knowing?"

DAMMIT...my whole post is gone...stupid IE error.

hmm...I figured it's me. It's just obvious. I can take a hint.

GREAT DAY! It was filled with sushi (THANKS GAIL!), boba, good convos and soup...

I had some good chats with Angelie and Leo tonight. I really love sitting down and talking to them. We never fail to have good meaningful conversations. Oh, I had a REALLY good talk with Leo before I took him home. I swear we must have been brothers in another life.

Yup, I just got home 20 minutes ago because Leo and I were talking for a long time about life. He's growing up so fast. haha. We have more inside jokes now...so don't ask. hahaha. *chuck-achuck-ah*

I didn't really get to talk to Kristine, Jacco or Judy much today. They were too busy with something *ahem* hahaha. I think I'll be seeing them sometime this weekend, though. We planned another outing to chill. heh.

Okay...it's time I plop into bed. I'm spent.

DAMMIT! The "b" end of my USB cable snapped. Now I can't upload my pictures at ALL.

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-urns!

I just read my last post and I am ALL OVER THE MAP. There was so much wanted to say but I'm happy. haha. Just had a lot on my mind...

Fuck it. Fuck them. I'm quitting Islands and I'm not "just saying it" this time. I deserve better than to work with that godawful company. The money sucks and most people don't know how to tip there. I have NO seniority after working there for almost 3 years. My co-workers that haven't been there half as long as I have are getting moved up and I just keep sinking lower and lower. FUCK them. I get no respect there. Who's ass do I have to tap to get the treatment and hours I deserve? I really like a lot of my co-workers but it's not worth it to me anymore. I need to move up to a classier restaurant with customers who would recognize good service. I may get along with a lot of my co workers, but I know that most of them don't give a flying fuck about me. I'm tired of them. I'm tired of the being the restaurant "pee on." I know that they'll beg me to stay when I give my 2 weeks. Everyone wants to jump this ship. I want to be the first jump off. I hate the way I'm regarded there. They can step on some other trusting dumbass.

::::::::::::::::::::

I felt good today. My bro called me during work with the good news and that just set the tone for the rest of the day.

My group gave me some good vibes today. I felt really connected with them today and I needed something keep my mood going. Everything was going well until I noticed some bad vibing. It kinda sucked that I was getting such a cold shoulder from him. If there's a problem, I hope we can talk about it. Hey, I just had to stand my ground...but the thing I'm thinking about is what I may have done to him. I feel like I embarass him because I make fun of him sometimes in front of his friends. I'm such a jerk huh? haha. I'm sure it's just all in my head, but I can't help but feel like our friendship changed dramatically over the past few weeks...

Gail was talking about how some of us don't care as much anymore when it comes to Confirmation. I still care very much. I really want to reach out to the students in ways other people in their lives can't. I love to spend time with them outside of Confirmation. I love to support them in what they do. I'd like to think that I take a genuine interest in their lives. I want to encourage them to live out a Christian life. It's refreshing to sit and talk with them and just see what they're all about. I want to be their friend as well as a leader. I was told I have a lot of patience...I guess that's why I'm so willing to help them carry their crosses.

::::::::::::::::::::

In other news, I can't help but feel my friendships with some people are fading. I feel like the relationship changed. I don't feel as close anymore. I feel like they "moved on" with out me and forgot about me. I guess I just miss them.

::::::::::::::::::::

Hey...my ego is hungry...someone feed it! hahahahahaha.

Scott was born 4:54am this morning!!!!!!!!! He is as healthy as can be. My bro and Lei are parents and I became an UNCLE! Just when I thought things were blah...God blesses the family. Good luck and CONGRATS! I can't wait to see him and you guys!

I've had this big itch to write about something all night. I feel like I have a lot to say, but there isn't a single thought that's popping up.

I hate this feeling. There's nothing to say but I feel like I have lots to tell. ugh.

Hmmm...I've been missing a lot of people's company recently. There are a lot of people I haven't been able to spend some quality time with. I feel like some people don't want my company anymore. heh. I'm not going to fight that. I can't. I guess I just miss them...that's all.

Life isn't treating me badly, but I feel very unattractive, lazy and worthless right now. I need a little motivation and some self-esteem. I know I'm loved but I have NO idea where all of this came from.

I need God to inspire me right now...

Time to sleep. I wonder what the new day will bring...if anything.

I don't ask for much...maybe that's why I feel like I don't receive much.

Get real, Mark...things will even out. Right?

I decided to delete my other entries from earlier in the day. I don't know what was going on. heh.

Gash...such a slow blog day for Mark. bleh.

M - O - N - O - T - O - N - Y . . .zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Piece of shit car...

I actually decided to go to lab and the battery on my car decides to die. Good thing my parents are home today. Instead of going to lab, we're just going to change the oil and get a new battery for the car.

Dammit.

My mom bought me breakfast this morning. =)

I don't really feel well today. I think I'm just going to spend my time sleeping and finally getting over this cold. yuck. I don't think I can make it to lab today.

I'm gonna take another nap. bleh...

I had a great time with Kristine, Judy, and Jacco tonight. I think a lot needed to be said. We were just hanging out. I'm just so glad that we all got to clear the air, exchange opinions, and express true feelings with no fear. Thank you for your honesty, opinions, and openess tonight guys. I think we finally got something done. Jay, I am very proud of you and you know that. I respect you so much more. Please be patient, you'll be a great leader one day...let's just work on a few things, okay? I had a great time you guys. Thanks for understanding each other and taking the time to go about this whole thing in a civil manner. Remember to give all this time and to be patient with each other. Don't force anything that's not ready to happen...

There are right ways and wrong ways...

My heart is light again. My mind is clear again...

I'm really bored and I don't want to do homework so Jay told me to do some online quizzes...hahaha.

I'm 43% freak!!
------------------------------
My Archetype:

The Lightning Bolt
Verbally and mentally fluid, the Lightning Bolt is refreshing and illuminating to those around it. This is occasionally somewhat discounted by the obvious pleasure that these personalities take in exercising their mental acuity. Although generally peaceful they can often take a verbally aggressive tact in relations with the world, which can often be misunderstood by those around them. To the Lightning Bolt this abstract contact is viewed as mere play; they rarely understand the attitude of those around them who can be offended or hurt by wild flights of verbal fancy or playfully intended barbs.

Innovative in the extreme, the Lightning Bolt personalities can often think themselves right out of the correct answer to a given problem. Many times they are referred to as their own worst
enemies.
------------------------------
What's my style?
You are the quintessential bad boy of popular lore. Whether cruising in your souped-up car or motorcycle or hangin’ with your friends, you come across as confident, adventurous and ever so slightly dangerous. You’re tough, but deep down have a heart of gold—and that’s a sexy combination.
------------------------------
Your Mood: At the moment you want to reach out and make contacts with others. You are feeling friendly inside and others around you will unconsciously pick up on this. You want to connect with people and be sociable.Focus and determined describes your present mood. You are out to achieve your goal and you concentrate on that. Unwavering you want to stick to the target of your ambitions, not completely to the exclusion of everything else, but almost!

Your Present Situation: Right now, you feel comfortable and relaxed and fairly content with your life. While this is, in most ways, a good thing, you might be getting a little too comfortable. Your present situation is very protective and enclosed, and while this feels good now, you may start feeling frustrated and boxed in.You want to escape a stressful situation in your life but are afraid of the consequences. You worry that if you make changes you will be worse off. In a sense you are torn between your need to break out and the risks to your security that any changes might bring.

Your Conflicts: You have no conflicts at the present time
------------------------------
Wow these tests are really true....especially the results of the last one!

I read about all these people, and their lives, going "Oh, I lak, did this with mah patnaz today!" and so forth. Or "Oh, I bought this today..." and whatever. Most things are mediocre, things I guess I used to do in my youth. Or ... some of it's whining, bitching about how their parents don't give them what they want, or won't let them go out because they're "too young" or they're "being unfair." You know. Stupid teenie angsty crap that we adults can laugh at later on in our lives.

I guess I long for that simplicity once again. You know, the whole "I'm a kid so I can act like an asshole" deal. Once you hit adulthood, or something close to it, it's the end of everything. No excuses, my little ones. It won't be like you can hang with your friends all day, or buy all kinds of shit with your parents money. Or when someone's unfair to you, the fact of the matter is that nobody cares. Nothing gets handed to you like it used to. And you're pissed.

Caroline...I couldn't have said it better myself. We're getting old aren't we?

I am totally being taken for granted by some people and they don't even realize it. Sucks...

I was just thinking about how the past and present affects the future...

I mean, it's all good and well if you were to let things just happen without thinking about the future. It's all influenced from the past and the present will influence the future. Funny how time works that way. I can't say that I haven't done anything out of haste. I also can't say that I've never just lived in the moment. But everytime I did something, it surely influenced the future. The choices we make as people form our paths. Unfornately, not everyone is repremanded for their bad decisions so one would not stray from that path. I've made my share of stupid mistakes. I've done a lot of rushing before. A friend once told me, "Don't do anything that you will regret..." Think about that statement for a little bit. The big keyword here is WILL. Sure you may not regret it now...but eventually, it's going to come back and you WILL regret it.

"How much you wanna make a bet?" I can bet our friendship on it.

Speaking of mistakes, some of them have to be repeated over and over again for one to learn from them. Some people would just have to make the mistake rather than take the advice. That's the way life goes, I guess. It hurts to watch someone walk into their own demise, but sometimes that's you can really do. Gail was right. There's only so much that I can do to help someone. Let go and let God...

Life is totally a school of hard knocks. You can't have everything your way either. You live and you learn. Hopefully you learn enough to keep on living.

The only advice I can give to anyone is:
Think before you act. Actions speak for you and against you.

The only thing I can do now is step aside. Make your choices wisely. I tried to help you. You hurt me in the process. You said you wouldn't fall. From the looks of things, you're walking closer to the edge of that cliff...

Yes, I'm still mad at you, but that doesn't mean I won't talk to you.

...but no matter what, I'll be here for you, if you let me.

What's gotten into you? Who do you think you are? The way you are acting right now is not Christian. You want to be a leader? You still have a lot to work on. What are you trying to prove? What's wrong with you? You know what? It's not my fault when you find yourself alone. Don't ask me for any advice. I gave it to you. Don't say I didn't warn you. You're going to be repremanded for all this shit you're doing.

The only thing I asked from you was to make the right choice. You couldn't even do that for me.

It would be foolish of me to give up on you. But don't come looking for me. I'm tired of your actions. I'm tired of trying to help you. You told me you know what you're doing. You told me that you listen.

You lied to me.

You can drown by yourself. I'll pull you up when you finally realize you're drowning.

(You were asking where your entry went...It's in the trash where it belongs.)

Some people really dissapoint me.

I thought I made a difference in your life...who was I kidding? I'm not even sure that that's true right now. You don't even trust me enough to heed my advice. Talk to me when you grow up and make sense.

How can you expect to be treated with respect if you can't respect others? For that matter...I don't feel like you respect me, right now.

If this isn't clear...YES, I'M MAD AT YOU.

You know what sucks?

I was driving home and traffic slowed to a crawl. I had to pee.

You do the math.

I had some good conversations with some people lately.

The first that comes to mind is the carefree and boba-rific conversation that Kristine and I had. We don't normally talk. I mean, it's nice now that we do. We had that "hi and bye" type relationship since she joined choir. Go me! I made a new friend today.

I had another interesting conversation with...you guessed it...Jay. That guy tries SO hard. Sometimes maybe too hard. I really admire his determination. Our conversation reminded me why I do what I do as a confirmation leader. I see a lot of myself in that guy. I had a lot of questions about a lot different things when I was in his shoes. I can tell that he is VERY goal oriented but all I hope is that he is more patient with himself and others around him. Don't give up anything for something else. Combine your goals. Failure is inevitable...so is learning. Hang in there! You're doing fine. It's cool to be unique...we both are.

Confirmation was...well...different today. It's not normally the way we run things but I guess it was productive in some ways...and dare I say, destructive in others? I don't know. I don't want to get into that. There's just a lot of misunderstandings and hasty (for lack of a better word...) judgements. Unfortunately, there are politics everywhere. All I can do is trust in God that He has a plan for us. We are all a team...that's all I can really say about that.

good night.

Thanks for the comment Ate Joy. It's nice to know that someone uses my comments. *ahem*

Parents is such a touchy topic to me...

It kills me to know that a good friend doesn't love their parents. I'm sure that they have legitamate reasons to do so. I wish I knew what to tell him. I don't know what the situation is. I don't know what's going on between the two of them and I don't know why my friend is harboring such feelings for so long. I guess I can kind of relate. I can't say that I understand him. What do you tell a person when they have so much angst towards their parents? How do you tell them that maybe it's not what it seems? Then again, I don't know what's going on...

It's much harder to be high school nowadays. There are so many issues that are pointed in that stage of life. The questions...the lack of answers...

I was never really close to my dad until recently. I never realized what my parents would have to do just to have food on the table. I never realized that my own dad would work long hours just to provide. I never realized that my parents love me so much that they drop everything to tend to me. I didn't figure this all out until after high school. I mean I guess I took them for granted. All the while they were supporting me. As "hostile" as they were sometimes...I thank them for that. They are only looking out for my best interest.

I was in your shoes too. Think about what they do for you. You have a house to live in. They feed you when you are hungry. Think about the sacrifices they make for you and maybe you'd feel more obliged to care for them as much as they care for you. Then again...I don't know the situation. Me? Naive? Possibly...

I can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. Do you know how that feels like? I'm watching you drown and I can't do a damn thing to save you.

All I can really tell you is to pray...to listen to God instead of just trying to talk. You still have a lot going for you...but do you trust me when I say that to you? For that matter, do you trust me at all?

I'm hurting inside when you are hurting. Don't you realize that? Do you care?

I feel like we're drifting apart these days. If you need me...you know how and where to get my attention...

I'll pray for you...since that's the only thing you'll let me do. You know I love you for who you are and I accept you for everything you are...God does too.

I should really get some sleep...I'm getting sick again.

Happy Birthday Eibreh!!!

I have a headache and I still had to go to school. I have no idea where this bug came from.

School hasn't been too bad so far. I mean, considering the fact I feel sick. Classes haven't been too demanding today. In fact I was out early after my bio exam and ended up playing pool with some of my bio buddies. If Jay calls and wants to go to class tonight. Then I'm going. I wanted to go by myself regardless but I don't feel so well. We'll see where this night takes me.

I also got a long overdue phone call from an old friend. Let's hope he doesn't flake on me AGAIN. ha.

Caroline...she's so hot right now...UNF!

I got a new toy! AHHHHHHHHHH!

*faints*

I have been pretty irritated lately. I guess I'm not who I thought I was to some people. That's what I get for crossing some lines. I pushed things too far. Don't ask. You don't need to know what I mean.

Whatever.

Now that I put everything into perspective, I now know where to go and what to work on. I know what I want and what it takes to get it. I've been stupid and lazy too long.

All I really need is the motivation to make a change. I've reassessed everything in my life and I know what works and what doesn't.

"Who cares?" a good friend told me. I've been pretty jaded lately and I need to remember that I don't need to care about what others think of me. I need to please no one but myself but right now I'm not so happy with myself. I'll fix myself accordingly.

Oh and Caroline...stay tuned!

Okay, I had that stupid feeling again today. I really need to work on it. Blah. I need lots of improvement. My confidence is kind of dwindling right now. I've never been this insecure. BLAH.

I got to spend some time with Ariel and Gail last night. That was a welcome surprise for my dreary weekend. I had a lot of fun. I didn't get to do anything fun all weekend, but on the upside, I got to finish all of my laundry and I'm on the way to cleaning out my car and room. So, my weekend wasn't really fun, but it was majorly productive. I have a paper due and a midterm on tuesday, but I'm not worried. Damn, I really need to send those emails!

In other news, I've been thinking about something for a while now. I don't know if I want to get into it. I just don't feel so good sometimes.

It's stupid. Just trust me. Don't worry about it. It's totally stupid. I'm being stupid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's get off of me for a second:
My brother has been calling today for Scott's birthday. All I know is that the due date is next Sunday so that boy is gonna pop out any day now. Excited? Damn skippy, I am! Hang in there Lei he's on the way!

I've added 3 more links! See if you can spot them.

Some people are just in a rush to grow up. I mean, I'm not surprised that there's conflict between a mother and son, but the son never really realizes that their mother is trying to look out for him. Teens these days seem to be so rebelious...I'm just refering to a few in particular. heh. I mean what's up with these people...they act so different when they're around me and then when they....whatever. Screw it. I'm cold. It's raining. I'm out.

Did you know that...

pi = 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399

I'll shut up now. I think I should TRY to sleep.

I am SOOO EFFING frustrated! eeeeeeergh. SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!

What's even worse is that I'm STARVING and there's no more fucking rice! GRRRRRRRR.....

irritated...TOTALLY irritated!

It's funny how a simple phone call from an old friend makes things so much better.

Okay, so I didn't go to Millenium last night. Whatever, I'm over it now. I was pretty annoyed since people weren't calling me. I hate it when people don't clue me in on what's going on.

A thought just occured to me. I noticed that there are a LOT of people with blogs now. I suppose it has become some sort of fad. I've been blogging for a really long time now and I just hope that I'm not labeled as some sort of "typical" because I blog. I mean, I don't DJ or LJ or anything like that. Not that there's anything wrong with those...

Ugh, I don't want to work tonight. I'm supposed to be at soup supper at church, but work didn't change my availability on time. I'm not in the mood for a lot of things lately. I mean life isn't so bad as it was weeks ago. I guess I'm just low on energy since I haven't been able to do anything fun since my cousins left.

Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I miss a lot of people.

Anyone else in the mood for a pickle? haha.

If you're happy and you know it...

CLICK THIS LINK

It's for my cousin...haha. See what I do for these people?

Some people just don't belong in my life. Sadly, some people can't accept that. It's even funnier to me that people talk shit about me when they don't know who I am or where I came from. I have a lot of things to deal with in my life. Anyone who knows me knows that. If someone doesn't like me, it's not my problem to fix. I don't have time to deal with it anyway.

Call me an asshole...call me whatever you want. You can't validate that statement about me. You don't know me...and I don't know you.

Alan is cool! He made me a sign too! hahahaha. We're such dorks!

::::::::::::::::::::

Well, I got my Art History exam back and I BOMBED it! Sheesh! She grades so hard. At least now I know how she grades and since 80% of the class bombed it she's going to drop the lowest grade among our midterm, and the final. I better buckle that shit down!

I had an interesting and lengthy conversation with Jay the other night. That boy
has a lot to say when he something on his mind and can't sleep. Whatever, I still got to sleep in and I was STILL on time for my Art History Class.

Today has been a pretty good day so far. I found ample parking (in the crappy lot) but I was able to get a really good spot so I didn't have to walk as far. The art history professor rambled on and on since everyone bombed her exam. It's a freaking 100 level class and she tests us harder than 400 level classes! I skipped Bio since it was a review so there wasn't any new material there. I did SUPER well on my theater exam and got to leave early for a healty lunch. I had a subway turkey sammich and a naked juice to go with it. I forgot how good my body feels when I eat right.

For some reason the day is flying by quickly and Math class doesn't seem so bad. I'm actually not dreading the class today.

WHOO HOO! Weekend here I come.

Damn, I still have 30 minutes to kill...

Alan is cool.

Excuse me while I kick myself in the ass.

I should have gone to Millenium last night like I planned. My lazy ass didn't and you know what happened? Justin fucking TIMBERLAKE was there at the class I go to. Peachy...JUUUUUUUUUST peachy. I could have peed in my pants dancing with Mr. Rock Your Body himself. Dammit! I hope he'll be there tomorrow night.

I am so bad. I met this guy through my cousin and I TOTALLY forgot to link him. Meet Mike.

Oh yeah...I'm gonna be an uncle/ninong any day now!

I've had a lot of ideas, thoughts and all that crap running through my head lately. I also noticesd what I picture perfect day it is today. If I was a better student, this would have been an ideal day to ditch all of my classes and go to the beach. Heh, we all know where I'm at with my academic life. I digress...

Just so you know, my heart isn't so heavy anymore and I'm beginning to set my priorities straight. I know what I have to continue and what I have to get rid of. There are some big things that I have to get over, but once I'm over it...I'm a free man. Ha. Lent, is an excellent reason to get motivated. I've been eating right for the past few days and I feel great. I want to get back in the groove of things, yah heard?! I mean, if I treat my body right...heh. You get the idea. Millenium anyone?

In other news, one of my oh-so-favorite cousins from up north is planning to fly down here in a few weeks. I haven't been able to spend some time with Grace lately and I'm glad that she's planning to visit soon.

Speaking of cousins, I've grown much closer to all of them especially my Ate Daph. Everytime we spend a day or two together, it reminds me that distance between real friends (in this case close cousin) shouldn't really matter. I know that no matter what happens, she'll be there for me...even if she's 400 miles away.

Okay, with all that said...I want to know what you people think of my layout. I know it's not so elaborate like this, or too drab like this, but I kinda like it. Knowing me and my anal-retentive nature, I'm going to be changing this thing again. hahahaha.

random thought: Do you think I should explain why I linked someone? You know...everyday, I plug someone...starting at the top. What do you think? hahaha. Maybe it'll get me to write somehthing worth reading. heh.

uh-oh...Time for my faaaaaaavorite class! *gasp* Why...IT'S MATH CLASS! (for the sarcastically challenged...I wasn't serious)

Thanks Ariel! I'm not too sure what the problem was, but you always come through.

So what do you guys think of the new layout? I know it's not super complicated...but I just felt like putting it together today. I have a feeling that I'm going to be changing it much sooner than I think. I dunno...does it seem crowded to you? Geez, I'm so anal.

Welcome Jacco to my links. He's a good friend of mine from confirmation and I designed the layout...hahaha.

I'm so cool.

Well, I'm off to Placerita Canyon for a bio lab. I hate driving that far.

I feel really bad...I think I overreacted during a conversation and hurt someone's feelings. I tend to notice when people's attitudes/tone of voice/mannerisms change after I say something I shouldn't have said. I would never intentionally hurt someone in any way. I feel really bad. They say that it's okay...I hope so. =\

I got a lot of closure yesterday. I feel that I became a lot closer to my family.

Things will only get better.

My patience is running low...DANGEROUSLY low.

I blogged a really long and (i thought) an excellent entry. BUT NOOOOOOO the computer had to restart because someone needed to use the USB card reader. So now I'm back to nothing. Great.

I'm really annoyed. Stupid ass computer.

(and Gail. IM SO SORRY. I don't know what to do with the blog and I hope you have your files backed up.)

I am relentless for falling asleep while studying. I can't believe I am STILL procrastinating on so many things. I know that I'm not going to be able to pass this math exam. It's all my fault too. I am so dissatisfied with myself lately. I've been slacking off in school. Eating crap. I just don't get it. I really need to get my life back in order. I really deserve a few swift kicks in the ass. I need that push you know? blah...

I'm thinking that a lot is going to happen this weekend. I know there's going to be a lot of emotions flying around starting today. I can't attend the viewing as it would be nearly impossible to make it.

I'm not too sure what to expect. I'm just going to enjoy the family's company and finally get the closure I need. It's been really hard for me lately and I just want to get my life back together.

Oh, BTW...I'm still pretty pissed off about my driver's side mirror.

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As for lent, I think I'm going to improve my whole self...physically, spiritually, and ACADEMICALLY. I won't get into details. My lenten promise this year is a lot more personal than I thought. I guess today will be the hardest day since I know that I'm going to bomb my math test.

I ask everyone to continue their prayers. I need the strength to just be myself. I need the patience to deal with my life and everyone in it.

*sigh* here goes nothing...*dives*

hmm..

I made 2 new layouts for other people. I think it's time I remake this bad boy.

I'm tired of it.

SOME DUMBASS RIPPED OFF MY DRIVER'S SIDE MIRROR...FUCKIN AYE! GRRRRRR..........I'M SO PISSED!

I hate this fucking FAFSA shit. Damn government...