I Guess Life Is...

Good. I don't really have anything to complain about. I suppose that my life has been a bit mundane since I got back from Maui. I've made some friends while I was there and I was able to put a few things into perspective. Now that I know where I want to go, how do you get there?

So yes, life is treating me kindly. However, I just haven't been feeling too pleased with myself. I feel like I'm in some sort of rut. I want to be mentally, physically and spiritually stronger. I want to feel like I am more of a success, rather than wasted potential.

I'm going to be 25 and I really don't have much to show for myself. At least, that's how I see it. I know that I have accomplished many things, but as far as life goals go, I haven't checked anything off that list in a while.

I've been looking at myself in the mirror and haven't been too content with myself in a very long time. How can I face myself if I feel like I've been wasting my days away?

Ronnell was telling me I should join a gym and have him train me. I mean, I'm sure that it would be a great reason to hang out with him. Maybe it'll be therapeutic. Besides, I'm not 19 anymore. I gotta rip it up myself all over again.

I've made a new friend recently. His name is Jonathan. (Before you all make that effing assumption, we are JUST FRIENDS. He's happily taken and so am I.) He became a pen pal after we met in Maui. Part of me wishes I never met him. Don't get me wrong, he's a cool guy. It's just that he's 26 and he's done so much in his life already. I, on the other hand, look pathetic next to him. I'm not going to get into specifics. Just take it as it is. Blah.

I need to regain control of my life. I'm kind of tired of being ashamed of myself. Dammit, I'm such a slob.

Yeah, sure...life is good. But, mind and body...bad.

Kreatively Dreaming

I am now in Kihei on the island of Maui. It has been a long time coming for me to meet Rodel, a friend I have remained in touch with for years. Today was the first day we met in person after numerous AIM and phone conversations. We hung out and exchanged stories & artistic techniques while he gave me an impromptu tour of the area.

The highlight of the tour for me (besides the sweet guri-guri) was his studio. I was unexpectedly overwhelmed by a sense of determination. To see his amazing work adorning his walls and sensing how much people respect his talent made me put things back into perspective. I felt like I could be a great designer and make a name for myself. I mean come on, he has a radio commercial. SHEESH!

His photos captivated me and his humility drove me to a place I haven't been to in a while. I said to him, "This is amazing. Don't ever give up." I guess I should heed my own advice. When I thought I was defeated, I stepped into a "kreative dream" and realized that being creative was something I was called to be. After being smacked in the face with creativity, I know that I can rely on him for advice or an encouraging presence.

Sure, I'm here for a wedding and it may seem selfish that I'm focusing more on what I want out of life, but this is a retreat from everything I loathe and love at home.

Thanks Rodel...you have done more for me than you know.