Hmmm I stumbled upon the Cingular hotties.
They have an effin website.
Should I buy the calandar? hahaha.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Girls Night Out
It was nice to get to spend some time with Selley tonight. We got to catch up and I got some sound insight.
You're right. Some people just don't get it. Some people just don't understand what they really NEED in life.
Hmph. I feel better about a lot of things after tonight...but one thing still remains...
My left knee is still killing me.
Goodnight.
It was nice to get to spend some time with Selley tonight. We got to catch up and I got some sound insight.
You're right. Some people just don't get it. Some people just don't understand what they really NEED in life.
Hmph. I feel better about a lot of things after tonight...but one thing still remains...
My left knee is still killing me.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Boiling Points
Is it wrong to feel motivated to beat someone else at their own game? Why would I feel good to outshine someone else? Should it bother me that my main source of motivation is based on the demise of someone else?
...well, not entirely. But, that shit will feel so good when I'm on top.
The last shall be first and the first shall be last. Things don't come so easily to me. I'm willing to work hard for what I want...and I can sleep easier knowing that I didn't take the easy way out. I'm not out there looking for a handout. I'm not well off enough to spend time and money at my own lesiure. Again, if I want something, I'll work my ass off. I can appreciate the meaning of self-reliance and hard work. My brother is an excellent example of that.
I hope that during my break, I can reflect on my own potential. I want to be the one who is clearly on top. I want to be able to look at myself and say, I worked honestly and diligently. I'll display my strength when I'm ready and in the end, I'm not going to use it to intimidate, but to support those who feel weak.
No. I didn't give up.
I just need time to gather myself and for the home stretch.
Is it wrong to feel motivated to beat someone else at their own game? Why would I feel good to outshine someone else? Should it bother me that my main source of motivation is based on the demise of someone else?
...well, not entirely. But, that shit will feel so good when I'm on top.
The last shall be first and the first shall be last. Things don't come so easily to me. I'm willing to work hard for what I want...and I can sleep easier knowing that I didn't take the easy way out. I'm not out there looking for a handout. I'm not well off enough to spend time and money at my own lesiure. Again, if I want something, I'll work my ass off. I can appreciate the meaning of self-reliance and hard work. My brother is an excellent example of that.
I hope that during my break, I can reflect on my own potential. I want to be the one who is clearly on top. I want to be able to look at myself and say, I worked honestly and diligently. I'll display my strength when I'm ready and in the end, I'm not going to use it to intimidate, but to support those who feel weak.
No. I didn't give up.
I just need time to gather myself and for the home stretch.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Ordinary People
There are just some people in my life who is pretty much dead weight. My brother always told me, if there is someone who cannot offer anything good to you, they're not worth having around. If you think about it, it's not selfish at all. If they offer you nothing, you're less likely to offer yourself to the other side. It's all give and take.
Unfortunately, I have given myself to people and they choose not to take it. My brother once said, (I know he's TOTALLY wise, RIGHT?!) if they don't want what you have to offer, take your business to someone who wants it. There's bound to be takers. He's right. Only the people who mean something to me love me for who I am...flaws and all.
So if you think this is directed to you, you're probably right. The funny thing is, I'm not directing this to anyone in particular. Live your lives...if I'm not in it, that's not my problem and it's not my fault, right?
I should have given out some mirrors for Christmas so they can just go fuck themselves.
Hmph. Haven't vented in a while. Feels pretty good.
There are just some people in my life who is pretty much dead weight. My brother always told me, if there is someone who cannot offer anything good to you, they're not worth having around. If you think about it, it's not selfish at all. If they offer you nothing, you're less likely to offer yourself to the other side. It's all give and take.
Unfortunately, I have given myself to people and they choose not to take it. My brother once said, (I know he's TOTALLY wise, RIGHT?!) if they don't want what you have to offer, take your business to someone who wants it. There's bound to be takers. He's right. Only the people who mean something to me love me for who I am...flaws and all.
So if you think this is directed to you, you're probably right. The funny thing is, I'm not directing this to anyone in particular. Live your lives...if I'm not in it, that's not my problem and it's not my fault, right?
I should have given out some mirrors for Christmas so they can just go fuck themselves.
Hmph. Haven't vented in a while. Feels pretty good.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Uninspired
There is something that has been bothering me this entire winter vacation. I have been thinking about this for a while now. I did not tell anyone about how I felt. I did not want to tell anyone so no one would influence my thoughts.
Tonight, I have decided to take a break from school this semester and resume summer or fall of 2006. The main reason is that I didn't want to ask my parents to pay my way through another semester. I already felt bad that they had to pay my way with vacation money and I definately don't want to put them in a position like that. It's unfair. I don't want to add to the student loans. I want to take just one semester to collect myself. I've been pretty discouraged with school. I plan to pay my own way until I graduate. I want to save money for a new digital camera and computer to prepare myself for my return to school.
I just feel that this will be beneficial to me in the long run. I want to come back motivated to pursue my Graphic Design career since I've been dragging myself to class for the past year and a half.
Don't worry. I'm going to graduate.
I don't think that I will be getting a lot of positive responses here at home for making this kind of decision.
I want to be better than you. In fact, I AM better. I want to surpass your acheivements and show you that I can make it. I want to prove that I'm not what you think I am and that I am more creative than YOU are.
I'm referring to me.
"I am a creative man trying to find himself creatively."
- Emmett [Project Runway Season 2]
There is something that has been bothering me this entire winter vacation. I have been thinking about this for a while now. I did not tell anyone about how I felt. I did not want to tell anyone so no one would influence my thoughts.
Tonight, I have decided to take a break from school this semester and resume summer or fall of 2006. The main reason is that I didn't want to ask my parents to pay my way through another semester. I already felt bad that they had to pay my way with vacation money and I definately don't want to put them in a position like that. It's unfair. I don't want to add to the student loans. I want to take just one semester to collect myself. I've been pretty discouraged with school. I plan to pay my own way until I graduate. I want to save money for a new digital camera and computer to prepare myself for my return to school.
I just feel that this will be beneficial to me in the long run. I want to come back motivated to pursue my Graphic Design career since I've been dragging myself to class for the past year and a half.
Don't worry. I'm going to graduate.
I don't think that I will be getting a lot of positive responses here at home for making this kind of decision.
I want to be better than you. In fact, I AM better. I want to surpass your acheivements and show you that I can make it. I want to prove that I'm not what you think I am and that I am more creative than YOU are.
I'm referring to me.
"I am a creative man trying to find himself creatively."
- Emmett [Project Runway Season 2]
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
See Mark Travel. Travel Mark, TRAVEL!
The opportunity to travel has certainly presented itself...
1. New York, New York - April 2006
2. Cabo San Lucas - Late April 2007
3. Sydney, Australia - July/August 2008
4. New Zealand? (for work) - ?
There may be more destinations in between. Number 2 and 3 have been penciled in. I want to stamp my passport dammit!
The opportunity to travel has certainly presented itself...
1. New York, New York - April 2006
2. Cabo San Lucas - Late April 2007
3. Sydney, Australia - July/August 2008
4. New Zealand? (for work) - ?
There may be more destinations in between. Number 2 and 3 have been penciled in. I want to stamp my passport dammit!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
DISCLAIMER: Based on what a friend and I talked about this past weekend...a journal entry is a reflection of a current thought and does not mean that I've always felt a certain way.
Spatial Profiling
I'm not sure if I'm looking at this wrong...
- You're "whatever" status on downelink.
- I'm in none of your pictures on downelink.
- You're single on myspace.
- I'm in 2 pictures out of 12 on myspace.
- There isn't a single mention of me ANYWHERE.
- I don't have a single testimonial from you.
I wish I meant as much to you as your best friends. Granted they are your closest friends, at least they are reminded and it shows.
What would it take for me to feel like I matter to you on that level? How do you expect me to feel about these details? I know they mean the world to you, but why don't I hear it?
Read your profiles back and tell me that my feelings aren't valid.
Why do you think I was upset when I got home from my retreat? I called you at 2:30 and you knew that I was home. I called you at 6:15 when I was done with choir. I called you at 9 and I lost hope. I wasn't about to wait anymore. Yeah, I was pretty pissed off. You didn't even apologize about coming home that late. You didn't even have the consideration to tell me that you were going to stay. It didn't thrill me that you'd rather stay there than come home to see me after I've been gone all weekend. Maybe I'm just crazy when I make sure that I'm home when you come home from a trip. Maybe I'm just stupid for wanting to see you the moment you get home.
I feel like I don't matter much to you. I feel like I'm not as important to you. I feel like there's nothing I can do make you as happy as they do.
What am I doing wrong? Am I good enough for you?
I'm not asking you to do these things. I'm not asking you to choose. I know them and I can see why you care about them so much. But seriously, I feel really insignificant. I feel like that no matter what I do, what I say, what I give you, would never be as great to you.
Your best friends mean the world to you but I don't feel like I'm not even the moon to this world of yours. Think about your actions in relation to others...please.
They're so lucky.
Spatial Profiling
I'm not sure if I'm looking at this wrong...
- You're "whatever" status on downelink.
- I'm in none of your pictures on downelink.
- You're single on myspace.
- I'm in 2 pictures out of 12 on myspace.
- There isn't a single mention of me ANYWHERE.
- I don't have a single testimonial from you.
I wish I meant as much to you as your best friends. Granted they are your closest friends, at least they are reminded and it shows.
What would it take for me to feel like I matter to you on that level? How do you expect me to feel about these details? I know they mean the world to you, but why don't I hear it?
Read your profiles back and tell me that my feelings aren't valid.
Why do you think I was upset when I got home from my retreat? I called you at 2:30 and you knew that I was home. I called you at 6:15 when I was done with choir. I called you at 9 and I lost hope. I wasn't about to wait anymore. Yeah, I was pretty pissed off. You didn't even apologize about coming home that late. You didn't even have the consideration to tell me that you were going to stay. It didn't thrill me that you'd rather stay there than come home to see me after I've been gone all weekend. Maybe I'm just crazy when I make sure that I'm home when you come home from a trip. Maybe I'm just stupid for wanting to see you the moment you get home.
I feel like I don't matter much to you. I feel like I'm not as important to you. I feel like there's nothing I can do make you as happy as they do.
What am I doing wrong? Am I good enough for you?
I'm not asking you to do these things. I'm not asking you to choose. I know them and I can see why you care about them so much. But seriously, I feel really insignificant. I feel like that no matter what I do, what I say, what I give you, would never be as great to you.
Your best friends mean the world to you but I don't feel like I'm not even the moon to this world of yours. Think about your actions in relation to others...please.
They're so lucky.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Young Love
I have a young friend who seems to "fall in love" a little too often. I can't say that he's wrong for finding a guy that he loves, but it just seems like he moves too fast or that he's so eager to have some sort of companionship. On the other side of the coin, the other guy may just be as eager. I guess it's me just being older that makes me worry about him and the guys he dates.
Love isn't a fluid notion. It's not really something that's open to interpretation. It either it is or it isn't. Now who's to say what love really is? I don't know either, but again, I think it's my life experience that brought me to where I am now. I just hope that he learns that "love" at that age isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I don't want to be one to judge you know? I've moved fast too. I've done those mistakes before...
I wish him the best, but he needs to learn the hard way...if the pop quiz comes up, I hope he passes.
I have a young friend who seems to "fall in love" a little too often. I can't say that he's wrong for finding a guy that he loves, but it just seems like he moves too fast or that he's so eager to have some sort of companionship. On the other side of the coin, the other guy may just be as eager. I guess it's me just being older that makes me worry about him and the guys he dates.
Love isn't a fluid notion. It's not really something that's open to interpretation. It either it is or it isn't. Now who's to say what love really is? I don't know either, but again, I think it's my life experience that brought me to where I am now. I just hope that he learns that "love" at that age isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I don't want to be one to judge you know? I've moved fast too. I've done those mistakes before...
I wish him the best, but he needs to learn the hard way...if the pop quiz comes up, I hope he passes.
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