I just bought my domain!

http://www.a-okdesign.com

AWESOME.

The A OK fashion biz is pretty cool

It's been up for its first week and I really appreciate the response and compliments that everyone has expressed. I am truly blessed to have kind & generous people supporting me.

Hot Items this past week:

1.
"HoneyPot" Tote [ @ the AOK Boutique ]
(http://www.cafepress.com/aokboutique.243280415)


2. AOK Logo Hooded Sweatshirt [ @ the design store ]
(http://www.cafepress.com/aokdesign.242709502)

I'm just trying to make an honest buck since I'm having trouble with the finances of school. Please make a purchase if you're interested! Thanks for your help! I really need it! I'm so close to graduating!!!!

http://www.cafepress.com/aokdesign

I think I'm gonna be on the right track. I'll be fine if I just keep my head on straight.

I Don't Know

I realized that this is my journal. I haven't really written about my feelings in a while. My feelings in this post aren't sudden. I guess it's just a collection of thoughts that have been meandering in my head recently. No. They did not fester for a long time. Its just a recent assessment I've made ever since early February.

Sometimes, I don't know if I'm on the right path. I guess lately, I'm not sure if he's what I want. Now, I'm not saying that I want to break up with him... I just don't know if I make my boyfriend happy sometimes.

I don't know if he sees me as attractive.

I don't know if he knows that sometimes I feel taken advantage of.

I don't know if he realizes that I do so much for him.

I don't know if he'd really want to marry me.

I may not know a lot of things, but I do know that he loves me and I love him very much. I know that he talks about me all of time to other people. They say that he talks about me a lot. It makes me feel really good. I don't doubt that he loves me. I don't question his heart. However, there are some things about him that I still don't really like. Yes. I guess you can say I overlook them, but I can't always glaze over it, you know? I hate the fact that he smokes. I HATE IT. Wasn't he supposed to quit??? Cutting down is NOT quitting. Let's be honest, I've thought about letting him go because of the cigs. I hate it. I hate the fact that he's killing himself about it. I'm not even going to start about what else is killing me. I'm scared of him when it comes to that side. It confuses me. I haven't had that "opportunity" to talk to him about it. I didn't want to dampen his trip to the bay. I didn't want to add any drama after his dog was put to sleep. I mean, ugh. I don't know.

He was telling me about how he was talking to someone who was commenting on his Coach duffle THAT I GAVE TO HIM. He was asked who had given it to him and he thought of every possible answer that wasn't me. He told her that his friends gave it to him and she replied, "I need to be friends with your friends!" I was fuming inside. Nice to know that his friends got credit for the hard work and money for it. Why can't he say that his boyfriend gave it to him? I don't know but I was denied and I was pretty hurt by it. If it were me, I wouldn't hesitate and proudly say that my boyfriend gave it to me.

I have to admit that the good definitely outweighs the bad. Everyday life just drifts me away from these things. I love him. I do. I do. I do...but sometimes I just wish he'd step away from certain things.

I'm not mad. I'm not upset about anything, but I just feel like I needed to vent this out. I don't know when the right time will be and I know that there isn't such time.

Is it the doubt that's speaking? Sure. Everyone doubts a good thing. It's stupid to assume that relationships are all about sunshine and lollipops.

I'm not declaring a rocky time. I don't want to break up with him.

I don't know... I'm just venting.