Well I survived my first (2 day) week of school. I'm slowly getting the hang of waking up in the AM hours rather than skipping breakfast and lunch. heh heh.
My favorite class has to be my 2D design class. I end the day with that class so it's nice to be able to do something I enjoy at school rather than trying to absorb a riveting lecture. I still have the honor of getting my books too. Blah...yay for me.
I gotta admit, it's kinda nice to see some familiar faces on campus. It seems like there's a major influx of ER and St. D's people coming to CSUN. Nonetheless it's always comforting to see a familiar face here and there. heh.
GTG! My ride is here....FINALLY.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Monday, August 25, 2003
"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't
strike. You just go in every day and do it
really half-assed. That's the American
way!"
Well, you're really really lazy. You
manage to get by, but you never put any effort
into anything you do. You most likely enjoy
watching TV, sleeping, eating, and doing stuff
of the sort. Get active. You're a fat, lazy
idiot.
Which Advice Quote said by Homer Simpson are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yesterday was my favorite nephew's christianing. I went through a lot to get there. I would stop at NOTHING to get there. This is a true story... my story on how it all went down. I guess all in all, the fact of the matter is that the day was never about me to begin with, but I thought it would be somewhat entertaining to tell you how difficult it was for me to make this event.
I woke up early to pick up boyfriend since his house is about 30 minutes away from mine. I took a quick shower and skipped breakfast and headed out. I decided to clean up and finish getting ready when I brought him back home. It was about 9am and the morning was bright and promising. As I drove, I noticed how empty the freeway was. Usually, when I drive to pick him up the traffic is heavier than an angry bitch's period. The drive was really easy and I got more and more excited as I approached the exit. 1 mile... 3/4 mile... 1/2 mile... I could already see the exit right in front of me. It was 9:25 am. "Damn! I'm making great time." I thought to myself. Just as I finished that thought, I noticed that the gas pedal refused to accelerate my Civic. I pressed it again and still no response. My heart rate began to quicken, and I slammed the hazard lights on and glanced at my rear views to see if I had any chance of making it to the right shoulder. Fortunately, there were no cars as I rolled off to the right and crawled to a stop. Puzzled, I turned off the car and tried to start it again. The engine refused to ignite. I tried it a second time. Same response... none. I grew very impatient VERY quickly. I was ready to burst into flames.
The exit was right in front of me. It would have been a 3 minute walk. It was such a tease to peer at the exit as my car remained pedestrian on the right shoulder. My first instinct was to call my mom. "Anak, did you try to start it again?" she asked. "Yeah, like three times now. I'm not too sure what's wrong." I responded. "Well, I don't know what to tell you anak. Just call triple A and call us back. Me and your dad will see what we can do." With that, she hung up. I scrambled around for my wallet and found my AAA membership card and made the call. A woman named Mikhala picked up and asked what I needed. I stated EVERYTHING, from the license plate to the location to the potential problem with the car... yet she asked me everything AGAIN. I repeated everything to her at least three times. After she announced that the tow truck was coming, she said in a very unenthusiastic and mundane way, "Thank you and have nice day." I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'm stuck on the damn freeway shitting frisbees. I'm totally having a nice day right now."
After about 30 minutes, the tow truck came to my aid. His name was Anthony and he was really nice to me. I couldn't have my car checked since the shops were closed on Sundays. After much debating with myself and my mom, I decided to get dropped off at boyfriend's house and have the car stored at the local shop (for free). My parents were going to pick him and I up at his house. I waited with him and he calmed me down and really just made me laugh. My broken spirit was getting much better, but I feared the anger and frustration of my parents. About 20 minutes later, we were picked up and we were on our way to Rancho Palos Verdes. The time was 11:15 at this point. I changed in the car and boyfriend said that he had gel in his bag. For the first time, I got carsick in the Highlander. I was nauseous for a good 45 minutes. To make matters worse, I haven't eaten anything yet. We finally stopped at a local gas station and I quickly asked if I can get something from the food mart. My mom gave me some cash and I bolted into the building and grabbed a nutrition bar and a V8 splash. I finished both before we left the station.
We got lost multiple times. There were 2 of the same street so that was a bit confusing...and my dad wouldn't listen to any of us when he passed the church like 4 times. He finally gave in and listened to me and we parked...RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHURCH. If he had only listened to ME I would have had at least 5 mintues to get ready in the church's bathroom. As soon as we parked, I popped out of the car and asked boyfriend for his hair gel. It turns out he forgot it and I panicked once more. My hair looked like i had just woken up. So I rushed into the bathroom and resorted to putting liquid soap in my hair just to tame it. After settling with my medoicre hairstyle and unshaven mug, I slowly and discreetly made my way to my pew. I was about 6 minutes late. Lei could just tell that I was a wreck. She immediately handed Scott to me and EVERYTHING changed.
I finally pieced it all together. Seeing him light up while he jumped on my lap made it all worthwhile. Watching him smile and laugh made me forget how messed up I looked and felt. Knowing I was going to be an even bigger part in his life put my mind into perspective. I've done these godfather dealies before, but it's just completely different this time. It was more meaningful because Si & Lei trust me with his spiritual life. Being ninong is more than just spoiling him with toys, candy and money. It's about being there for him and loving him with all my heart. I'm really part of the circle. My life was completely validated when I was holding that candle and making a promise to keep that light burning bright. When he reached for my hand, it made me realize that I really was willing to do anything for him. I can't wait to tell him the stories when he's older. I can't wait for him to understand how much I love him. My nephew...my new love....my new spirit.
It's funny how the one who wasn't able to comprehend my troubles was the one who was able to take them away. Scott's innocence is what brought me back. It's what made me feel so much better. I even feel so much closer to Lei and my brother. Scott's lucky to have parents and grandparents that love him so much... and now he has Godparents who love him just the same.
Thank you Lei and Sim. You guys are the best. Boyfriend...thank you...FOR EVERYTHING.
In the meantime I'll take care of everything else. I still need to see boyfriend and get the car. I want to be centered when school starts tomorrow.
I woke up early to pick up boyfriend since his house is about 30 minutes away from mine. I took a quick shower and skipped breakfast and headed out. I decided to clean up and finish getting ready when I brought him back home. It was about 9am and the morning was bright and promising. As I drove, I noticed how empty the freeway was. Usually, when I drive to pick him up the traffic is heavier than an angry bitch's period. The drive was really easy and I got more and more excited as I approached the exit. 1 mile... 3/4 mile... 1/2 mile... I could already see the exit right in front of me. It was 9:25 am. "Damn! I'm making great time." I thought to myself. Just as I finished that thought, I noticed that the gas pedal refused to accelerate my Civic. I pressed it again and still no response. My heart rate began to quicken, and I slammed the hazard lights on and glanced at my rear views to see if I had any chance of making it to the right shoulder. Fortunately, there were no cars as I rolled off to the right and crawled to a stop. Puzzled, I turned off the car and tried to start it again. The engine refused to ignite. I tried it a second time. Same response... none. I grew very impatient VERY quickly. I was ready to burst into flames.
The exit was right in front of me. It would have been a 3 minute walk. It was such a tease to peer at the exit as my car remained pedestrian on the right shoulder. My first instinct was to call my mom. "Anak, did you try to start it again?" she asked. "Yeah, like three times now. I'm not too sure what's wrong." I responded. "Well, I don't know what to tell you anak. Just call triple A and call us back. Me and your dad will see what we can do." With that, she hung up. I scrambled around for my wallet and found my AAA membership card and made the call. A woman named Mikhala picked up and asked what I needed. I stated EVERYTHING, from the license plate to the location to the potential problem with the car... yet she asked me everything AGAIN. I repeated everything to her at least three times. After she announced that the tow truck was coming, she said in a very unenthusiastic and mundane way, "Thank you and have nice day." I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'm stuck on the damn freeway shitting frisbees. I'm totally having a nice day right now."
After about 30 minutes, the tow truck came to my aid. His name was Anthony and he was really nice to me. I couldn't have my car checked since the shops were closed on Sundays. After much debating with myself and my mom, I decided to get dropped off at boyfriend's house and have the car stored at the local shop (for free). My parents were going to pick him and I up at his house. I waited with him and he calmed me down and really just made me laugh. My broken spirit was getting much better, but I feared the anger and frustration of my parents. About 20 minutes later, we were picked up and we were on our way to Rancho Palos Verdes. The time was 11:15 at this point. I changed in the car and boyfriend said that he had gel in his bag. For the first time, I got carsick in the Highlander. I was nauseous for a good 45 minutes. To make matters worse, I haven't eaten anything yet. We finally stopped at a local gas station and I quickly asked if I can get something from the food mart. My mom gave me some cash and I bolted into the building and grabbed a nutrition bar and a V8 splash. I finished both before we left the station.
We got lost multiple times. There were 2 of the same street so that was a bit confusing...and my dad wouldn't listen to any of us when he passed the church like 4 times. He finally gave in and listened to me and we parked...RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHURCH. If he had only listened to ME I would have had at least 5 mintues to get ready in the church's bathroom. As soon as we parked, I popped out of the car and asked boyfriend for his hair gel. It turns out he forgot it and I panicked once more. My hair looked like i had just woken up. So I rushed into the bathroom and resorted to putting liquid soap in my hair just to tame it. After settling with my medoicre hairstyle and unshaven mug, I slowly and discreetly made my way to my pew. I was about 6 minutes late. Lei could just tell that I was a wreck. She immediately handed Scott to me and EVERYTHING changed.
I finally pieced it all together. Seeing him light up while he jumped on my lap made it all worthwhile. Watching him smile and laugh made me forget how messed up I looked and felt. Knowing I was going to be an even bigger part in his life put my mind into perspective. I've done these godfather dealies before, but it's just completely different this time. It was more meaningful because Si & Lei trust me with his spiritual life. Being ninong is more than just spoiling him with toys, candy and money. It's about being there for him and loving him with all my heart. I'm really part of the circle. My life was completely validated when I was holding that candle and making a promise to keep that light burning bright. When he reached for my hand, it made me realize that I really was willing to do anything for him. I can't wait to tell him the stories when he's older. I can't wait for him to understand how much I love him. My nephew...my new love....my new spirit.
It's funny how the one who wasn't able to comprehend my troubles was the one who was able to take them away. Scott's innocence is what brought me back. It's what made me feel so much better. I even feel so much closer to Lei and my brother. Scott's lucky to have parents and grandparents that love him so much... and now he has Godparents who love him just the same.
Thank you Lei and Sim. You guys are the best. Boyfriend...thank you...FOR EVERYTHING.
In the meantime I'll take care of everything else. I still need to see boyfriend and get the car. I want to be centered when school starts tomorrow.
Saturday, August 23, 2003
In 2 weeks I'll be a step closer to getting a job! I got a call from Gordon Biersch from Old Town saying that they are interested in taking me and will start interviewing me in a couple of weeks. Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
I can't sleep. Anyone in the mood for crappy haikus? I AM!
I am just one man
But I found another half
I call him "boyfriend"
He can make me smile
He can also make me mad
He can eat more too
Loud when elated
Indifferent when focused
Quiet when upset
His jokes are funny
His sacrasm can be wry
Always humorous
I have made mistakes
I am nowhere near perfect
But he looks past it
One lucky person
Two very different guys
One relationship
No more haikus, Mark
They are getting really stale
Time to go to sleep
I am just one man
But I found another half
I call him "boyfriend"
He can make me smile
He can also make me mad
He can eat more too
Loud when elated
Indifferent when focused
Quiet when upset
His jokes are funny
His sacrasm can be wry
Always humorous
I have made mistakes
I am nowhere near perfect
But he looks past it
One lucky person
Two very different guys
One relationship
No more haikus, Mark
They are getting really stale
Time to go to sleep
Sunday, August 17, 2003
I'll admit it. I guess I'm more lazy than strapped for time when it comes to this blogger. I haven't done the race & WOC for a while. I have a concept for the new layout. To make things even worse...I have quite a few linky-links to add onto my already horendous(sp?) list of people. haha.
I still need to add:
KEITH
LORENZ
RIKKI
JP
JANICE
ED
KRISSY
There's more but I have to go and pick up some people. meh.
I apologize for the lack of depth in my recent entries.
heh.
I still need to add:
KEITH
LORENZ
RIKKI
JP
JANICE
ED
KRISSY
There's more but I have to go and pick up some people. meh.
I apologize for the lack of depth in my recent entries.
heh.
Saturday, August 16, 2003
My summer is coming to a close soon. There has been a lot of ups as well as downs. I want to blog but I find myself spending time with my new love. It's been good for me so far so there's nothing to complain about. I've been inspired for a new layout recently so I guess I have something to do nowadays.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
I can't even begin to tell you how much pressure I'm under. I wish that I had more hours in the day. I wish I could please everyone. I wish I was a better person sometimes. These past few weeks I've been MIA, broken promises, procrastinated, stayed up until the sun began to rise, and just was plain irresponsible. It's just kind of frustrating when people don't understand why I'm so high strung...but then again I can't expect someone to just hand me a cookie and understand my point of view.
It scares me when I think that I can't handle all of these things that are coming my way. I mean, I don't even have a job nor do I have classes. Nonetheless, I manage to run myself and others into the ground. People tell me that I'll be okay. Why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like I'm just a big let down to some people?
The questions still remain in my head: Am I good enough (for you)? Can I manage my time effectively as my responsibilities grow? Will I study hard and still balance my other obligations? Are my friends feeling dissed by my lack of attention? What do I really want for myself? What can I really do to get things done correctly...let alone in a timely manner?
I'm not upset. I'm just confused as to what I can really do. I want to be able to have my life flow from one thing to another, but here I am...Just trying to breathe.
It scares me when I think that I can't handle all of these things that are coming my way. I mean, I don't even have a job nor do I have classes. Nonetheless, I manage to run myself and others into the ground. People tell me that I'll be okay. Why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like I'm just a big let down to some people?
The questions still remain in my head: Am I good enough (for you)? Can I manage my time effectively as my responsibilities grow? Will I study hard and still balance my other obligations? Are my friends feeling dissed by my lack of attention? What do I really want for myself? What can I really do to get things done correctly...let alone in a timely manner?
I'm not upset. I'm just confused as to what I can really do. I want to be able to have my life flow from one thing to another, but here I am...Just trying to breathe.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
What is it about love that makes us do seemingly stupid and irrational things? What is it about love that makes us promise things?
I've never had a real love life. Now that I do, I realize how hard it can be to manage sometimes. But no matter how hard it gets, it's always worthwhile. I'm not perfect nor am I remotely close to excellent, but I try my best. I'm a stupid human who makes stupid mistakes.
Even when I'm far away...You're in my heart. You're with me everywhere I go...you occupy my thoughts in what ever I do.
I've never had a real love life. Now that I do, I realize how hard it can be to manage sometimes. But no matter how hard it gets, it's always worthwhile. I'm not perfect nor am I remotely close to excellent, but I try my best. I'm a stupid human who makes stupid mistakes.
Even when I'm far away...You're in my heart. You're with me everywhere I go...you occupy my thoughts in what ever I do.
Saturday, August 02, 2003
I HAVE THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER!
Don't ask why...
...because I'll tell you why.
She picks me up to sleep over with a one hour notice and feeds me goodies and makes me happy.
NEED I GO ON? Well, I'm too hungry to go on. I'm actually up in the AM, people! So be impressed by that and maybe if you're all good boys and girls, I'll let you know what I did today.
Don't ask why...
...because I'll tell you why.
She picks me up to sleep over with a one hour notice and feeds me goodies and makes me happy.
NEED I GO ON? Well, I'm too hungry to go on. I'm actually up in the AM, people! So be impressed by that and maybe if you're all good boys and girls, I'll let you know what I did today.
Friday, August 01, 2003
First off... Happy Birthday Sky!
Thank you for all of the feedback and questions. I didn't think my last post would generate so much of a reaction from people...even strangers.
I purposely left the post up there as long as possible only so everyone would have a chance to read it and even reflect on it. But now...since I have some people who NEED an update, I decided to give in to their demands and spill it out.
Anyway... things have been really good so far, but I don't wish to give out the details...just know that it's all good in Mark's hood. I'm also off the market now. Sorry fellas. haha.
I always feel intimidated when someone "wants to talk to me." It's never really good news when someone pulls me aside like that. I'm the kind of person who might take things the wrong way sometimes. Someone is ready to give me an earful but I'm just so scared as to what I might hear. heh. I tend to take things a little farther than they are supposed to. I try to understand the situation through the other person's point of view but sometimes I take it to the heart. I guess I'm ready to hear what has to be said. I'm sure it's totally called for. I'm not really the best person all the time and I hate it when I have to be "put in my place" so to speak.
I'm sensitive...well...more like hyper sensitive once my comfort zone is compromised.
I'm ready to hear what you have to say...I just hope I don't take it the wrong way.
Thank you for all of the feedback and questions. I didn't think my last post would generate so much of a reaction from people...even strangers.
I purposely left the post up there as long as possible only so everyone would have a chance to read it and even reflect on it. But now...since I have some people who NEED an update, I decided to give in to their demands and spill it out.
Anyway... things have been really good so far, but I don't wish to give out the details...just know that it's all good in Mark's hood. I'm also off the market now. Sorry fellas. haha.
I always feel intimidated when someone "wants to talk to me." It's never really good news when someone pulls me aside like that. I'm the kind of person who might take things the wrong way sometimes. Someone is ready to give me an earful but I'm just so scared as to what I might hear. heh. I tend to take things a little farther than they are supposed to. I try to understand the situation through the other person's point of view but sometimes I take it to the heart. I guess I'm ready to hear what has to be said. I'm sure it's totally called for. I'm not really the best person all the time and I hate it when I have to be "put in my place" so to speak.
I'm sensitive...well...more like hyper sensitive once my comfort zone is compromised.
I'm ready to hear what you have to say...I just hope I don't take it the wrong way.
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