How Do You Describe a Feeling?
You never really see him coming until he's kissing your cheek. At that point, it's just too late. I fell. I fell hard because I wasn't really looking. I never thought I'd have the strength to pick myself up the way I have in these past months... ONLY to fall flat on my face over a guy... again. I fell really hard before and I guess that didn't pan out too well for me. Yeah, you know who you are... and you have a blue primate to show for it. ;P
It was supposed to be a night where 3 friends reconnected over drinks and conversation. I had gone out to dinner to see a refreshingly committed couple. The Saint Felix was a venue I had never visited before in West Hollywood. A quiet, comforting chatter floated in the candlelight. The dimly lit lounge offered much more than a false sense of romance and mystery. I was comfortable and excited to catch up with my buds. The goods were delicious and the conversation even more so.
Afterward, we headed out to Micky's. My interest was piqued only because I haven't been there since the place had burned down several months prior. Upon exploring the building, I spotted an old acquaintance leaning on the threshold between the indoor bar and the patio. Unsure if he recognized me, I approached him as he continued to sadly hang his head low. Though melancholy, he looked at me with such a glimmer in his eye. He smiled and asked, "Mark?!" Awesome. He totally remembered me. I never really told him how attractive I thought he was when we met in passing years ago. However, my slight inebriation broke that spell after he admitted that he had a crush on me back then too. He offered a Washington Apple shot to get the ball rolling and I asked him to join our group. We started to -- whatever it is people do when don't know each other but talk about their respective lives. It's definitely bigger than small talk and I wouldn't really call it "catching up" if there wasn't a foundation to build from. In any case, we talked. We exchanged information. We danced. We flirted. We kissed. Oh Lord, did we KISS. I honestly kind of felt like I had been ignoring the two people I had originally come with. It wasn't long until my friends felt the need to leave. No. It wasn't because they weren't having a good time. It was the fact they couldn't stay awake to have one. They lived in the area, so I guess they found it best to walk back home. After an unexpected, alcohol-induced night, he drove us to IHOP to sober up. I remember that i was being quite the flirt. We engaged in conversation and had a little romantic moment out in the parking lot. Honestly, I didn't know what it meant, but I liked the attention.
After sobering up, he drove me back to his car so he could go home too. There seemed to be a connection brewing between us as we continued our conversation well into the morning... about 4:45 am, for those who were wondering.
...and every time we part ways, it's just as hard to let him go.
So, yes. This is how I met Howard... and this was the beginning of something great. I learned that you don't find love. It has a way of finding you.