I don't get it...I was so tired and went to sleep after that last post. Now, I'm in front of my computer trying to tire myself out.

Maybe blogging will get me to go to sleep...

There's been a few issues looming. There's nothing bad. I guess I'll just materialize these thoughts for a sec. Forgive the jumps from one idea to another...

It's funny how I haven't seen some of my friends. They all deserve my attention. I feel bad just not being able to spend time with some of them. I really miss Aileen too. I know that she's doing her thing at school and I hope that she is doing well. Alex, Donna & Elvira...gosh I miss them so much. Those guys really knew how to make me laugh. I really miss Charles and DJ. Hmmm I really should give them a call and just hang out. I miss my RC crew so so much. They were the best group to wreak havoc since we were such a large group. I miss a lot of people. I have so many names in my phone book that go unused. Sad huh?

I also noticed that my world changed dramatically. I remember a time where talking about sex was taboo among my friends. Funny thing though...I talked to a good friend of mine about sex. Nothing trivial. Nothing perverted. It surprised me that we were able to just talk about it in that manner. I guess you had to be there to know what I mean.

I hate the fact that the most undeserving people get the things that YOU would want. I won't get into the details on this one but I really wanted a chance to relieve myself of my life for a few days. The chance was presented to me but it was taken by someone who had to be the worst candidate. I'm sorry but whoever made that call was totally misinformed.

HA! That's the story of my life. I strive hard and what happens? An undeserving person gets the gold. There are so many things that I am involved in and it always seems that some gets the piece of the pie that I've been working for.

I feel so undermotivated. I feel like I need an incentive for living. There are a lot things that I want but there's little or no drive to acheive it. I'm so unhappy with myself on so many levels. It kills me to know that I can be SOOO much better than I am now. "There's always room for improvement" In my case there's a lot of it.

Oh, I never mentioned what Adolfo got me from Mexico. It's a bow and arrow. Pretty cool huh? I don't know where to put it though. He asked me what I wanted from Mexico, and I told him, "...as long as I can hang it in my room then it's cool." I could hang it...but where?

I hate staying up this late. I really want to get back to sleep...

Again, sorry for the randomness in thoughts...