Long day...oh lordy what a long day.

First off, I had to take my mom to work at the ungodly hour of 6:30 am...like I usually do. I hate it. I get home and I couldn't get to back to sleep until 9:30 am. I wanted to wake up at about 1100 am at the latest so I could run some errands and just leave straight to the beach...but no... my alarm didn't go off and I didn't get up until 2:30. I also had to get my paycheck. I was hoping that it would help me out quite a bit for my trip. It didn't. I made more money dealing cards for the guys the other night. I was REALLY upset about the fact I'm so far from having enough money for this trip. I was also on call but I wasn't needed...just like I thought. I still haven't eaten at this point. I left a little before 4:00 and I was STARVING. I was caught in traffic so I thought that making a detour would speed things up a bit. Of course...it didn't for some odd reason, the flow of traffic was worse on the sidestreets. I didn't get home until about 4:45. I was pissed since it took me 3 times as long to get home as it normally should.

I finally get home to start to eat and I microwave the family leftovers and popped open the rice cooker only to hear my Lola say, "Aye, Mark...wala nang kanin. Kinain ni mommy at daddy mo. O...Gusto mong tinapay?." (Mark, there's no more rice. Your parents ate it all. How about bread instead?) That sent me over the edge. I would have thought that food would stop the bleeding but it only dragged the laceration wide open. I just left my shit in the microwave and just trodded off into my room. I stared at the ceiling and I started to count the money I have stashed away for the trip. It upset me even more...I eventually ate since my lola was nice enough to cook me a batch to eat.

I was too angry to join the LS boys at Hermosa. After some talking to by Ben and Alan, I decided to leave. I left at about 6:15-6:20. I was hoping to get there by 7:30. There was a misunderstanding with the directions and I veered off course by about 35 minutes. That was the last straw for me. I was fuming mad. I was really frustrated with the whole day. I wanted to just go straight home. I was sobbing to John on the phone and telling him that I was just going to head home. It's too late. I wasted my time and my gas. I was PISSED!

I decided to just go to the beach. I wanted to just walk the shore. I wanted to sit on the sand and just BREATHE. They didn't even let me do that. I was so pissed that I was just breaking shit. I kicked around a dome lid from a public trash can. My foot got kinda messed up as a result. It's okay though. I had to I drove for over 2 hours and all I wanted to do was sit. I gave in and we went to the pier to eat. I wasn't feeling like eating but the pizza looked pretty inviting. Eventually, my temper died down, but the whole night I had this overwhelming emptiness.

I hate the fact that I missed the whole day with them. I missed everything only because I was out having a bad day. I was looking forward to so much only to miss it.

Ugh...tomorrow is a new day. I have work and nothing else so maybe I could do something for myself.